"we're too excited to sleep!!!1"
AHHHH. I hate when I'm so fucking high on creativity and passion and ideas that I can't even SLEEP, yet I'm still expected to function all day tomorrow like a regular human being. I just wish school would be put on fucking hold until this video is done. Because it is ruining my life? And I'll fail school because all I care about is this but somehow I don't think my future employers will understand that. Unless I work for someone like myself, who knows what a mean bite this bug leaves. I can only give so much, so one of the two worlds has to take a hit and suffer, and it always ends up being the non-art world because the art world is way more fun and I'm a pleasure seeker with no regard towards consequences. Also I hate school. Also, I'm in a crap ton of pain both physical and emotional so it's all coming out in this and I don't want to ever ever stop. Not for school, not for sleep, not for anything.
I am just so obsessed with doing this. And I started it today, as therapy, and that's where 6 hours of my day went. I tried to sleep just now (and I only even laid down because I ran out of immediate ideas), maybe get in a NAP before school, but all I could hear in my head was the gd song, so I put my iPod on with it on repeat because I thought that would help and oh no, no. It just made it worse because I started mouthing it. And I don't mean just casually mouthing it, I mean full-on performing the fucker. In my bed. With all sorts of heart-clutching, writhing drama. And then I started crying. Because I got goosebumps hardcore just choreographing it and thinking of it all filled in and I just feel it so fucking much and lkjshfa. And I see something so, so unbelievably amazing and unlike anything I've ever done and I am praying to MIA I get the sex footage I need for it. I don't know. It's a tall order and it's really demanding and high maintenance but goddamn it I am ready to put the time in. Even if it takes me like, three years, lol.
Tomorrow is going to be a horribly torturous day. Fuck.
I JUST FEEL LIKE THAT OLD DISNEYLAND COMMERCIAL. OH MY GOD I FOUND IT, YES.
I am just so obsessed with doing this. And I started it today, as therapy, and that's where 6 hours of my day went. I tried to sleep just now (and I only even laid down because I ran out of immediate ideas), maybe get in a NAP before school, but all I could hear in my head was the gd song, so I put my iPod on with it on repeat because I thought that would help and oh no, no. It just made it worse because I started mouthing it. And I don't mean just casually mouthing it, I mean full-on performing the fucker. In my bed. With all sorts of heart-clutching, writhing drama. And then I started crying. Because I got goosebumps hardcore just choreographing it and thinking of it all filled in and I just feel it so fucking much and lkjshfa. And I see something so, so unbelievably amazing and unlike anything I've ever done and I am praying to MIA I get the sex footage I need for it. I don't know. It's a tall order and it's really demanding and high maintenance but goddamn it I am ready to put the time in. Even if it takes me like, three years, lol.
Tomorrow is going to be a horribly torturous day. Fuck.
I JUST FEEL LIKE THAT OLD DISNEYLAND COMMERCIAL. OH MY GOD I FOUND IT, YES.
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