Some Thoughts on Elven Sanitation

[lissas_elves]

It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to wonder about it ... This subject is not for the squeamish!

Thank you to Cal for betaing.

‘On Elven Sanitation’ or ‘The Joys of Indoor Plumbing’
Introduction:

I’m sure The Last Homely House had running water, indoor WC and bathrooms - these clever Noldor did so like to invent things - but how do you

Comments

[heartofoshun]

Galadriel tripping gingerly along between the mellyrn, checking the ground to see that she doesn’t step in ... no, neither can I.I actually had not imagined that, but somehow it appeals to me. She has a tendency in most stories to get treated with far too much reverence

[lissas_elves]

Oshun, good to see we agree on Noldorin plumbing: they just MUST have had it!

As to Elves bathing on the road, I, too think that they would whenever possible. With their appreciation of beauty and their higher resistance to cold, there were good reasons for them to do it. But I suppose one also has to consider the risk involved; it wouldn't do to be surprised by a band of orcs while wearing nothing but a lather ... a most embarassing way to end your days.

Oh - and I'm glad that you're not shocked by the Galadriel-image; actually, none have complained about it so far (to my surprise).

[lethe_lloyd]

Galadriel " Almost-Virgin-Queen-Mary " and yes, the Blessed Virgin reverence with which some writers tend to treat her, bores me, and since reading Oshun's story with Celeborn in it, I am becoming more fascinated with him. She may have been wise and powerful, but there's no sex-appeal to her - there is to Celeborn, and now I shall forever envisage him the way Oshun wrote him. * waggles eyebrows *

it wouldn't do to be surprised by a band of orcs while wearing nothing but a lather...a most embarrassing way to end your days.

If Elves could smell Mortal's, I'm sure they could smell and sense the proximity of orcs, even upwind XD .
Battle the orcs, then have a bath 8D

[lissas_elves]

If Elves could smell Mortal's, I'm sure they could smell and sense the proximity of orcs, even upwind XD .
Battle the orcs, then have a bath 8D

lol - yes, that would be the proper way to go about it! The Elves would need a bath afterwards, anyway.

[lethe_lloyd]

Please do not start a topic on the waste disposal of orcs, LOL! Elves and Men I can handle.

[lissas_elves]

I'll try to behave. ;-)

[lethe_lloyd]

They had flush toilets - of a sort - in Knossos, anything Men can do the Noldor could do, especially if they had been tutored in Aman. The first, and most important of skills, before all the fluted pillars and tesseraed walls and wonderful carvings,and flying buttresses etc - PLUMBING :D
Beautiful villas and mansions are no good without a waste disposal system. Can you imagine finishing something the size of Windsor Castle and having that; " I * know * we forgot something ..." moment. O_o

[lissas_elves]

They had flush toilets - of a sort - in Knossos

Did I ever tell, I've seen Knossos? Didn't see any bathrooms, though. *g*

We visited Crete 10 years ago and there was a bus trip to the palace. It was amazing - some of the rooms below ground level looked really wonderful, with beautiful wall paintings - bright blue colours. And just standing on the hill, in the searing sun, listening to the cikadas and realizing that this, at least, was probably just what Theseus experienced ... well, that in itself left a lasting memory, that's for sure.

[lethe_lloyd]

Oooh, I would love to see it - I have only read about it and what they have found, and seen pics of course, but nothing could compare with seeing something like that. There's something about that quality of light, too...

I was reading about the public baths in Rome and how huge some of them were, the other day. I've only seen the Roman Baths in Bath, but apparently in Rome some of them were enormous.

[lissas_elves]

Oooh, I would love to see it - I have only read about it and what they have found, and seen pics of course, but nothing could compare with seeing something like that.

It did make me feel very small; so much history! And yet I was here and they were all gone ... no, I can't explain it, but I'm really glad I went. I've visited Acropolis, too, and it's was impressive and there were lots of things to see, but Knossos somehow made more of an impression. Atmosphere, I suppose.

[lethe_lloyd]

I knew a young guy who went to Crete ( I was young and fancied him something chronic ). When he came back I asked him if he had seen Knossos, and he said no o.O. he was not even that far from it, but went for the sun and to pick up girls. I could not believe it, lol, and it rather put me off him. ( How can you * not * want to see it? ) But I would never go on holiday to sunbathe, I would have to see something historical. I'd like to see Delphi, too, I read a thriller set around there and the author described it so wonderfully I always longed to go after that.

[lissas_elves]

I asked him if he had seen Knossos, and he said no o.O. he was not even that far from it

Shocking! I hope you dumped him asap!

But who am I to rant - I bet the boys I dated didn't even know where or what Knossos was. :-(

I'd like to see Delphi, too, I read a thriller set around there

Oh yes! Perhaps there's still "something" there and you would start prophesizing. The book you read was a thriller you said: which one was it? I initially thought it might have been one of the Falco books (used
to read them - great fun).

[lethe_lloyd]

Perhaps there's still "something" there and you would start prophesizing.

Lol, maybe if I breathe in something hallucinogenic d;-)

Oh, I never dated him, he was not interested, but I knew him well, I did think him shallow after that though. XD

The books was called My Brother Michael, I think it was written in the 70's, by Mary Stewart, great descriptions, but she had traveled all these places, and I felt I was really there, whichever book I read of hers.

[lissas_elves]

Just found this link: I walked up that ramp/road, under the trees, and into the yard where it was incredibly hot!

Later, we went down and saw amazing wall paintings (leaping dolphins and bull jumpers) but I believe someone told me that those rooms have been closed to the public now in order to better preserve what's left.

[lethe_lloyd]

I can't see your link :(

[lissas_elves]

Gah! Let's try again: http://www.explorecrete.com/Knossos/06_Knossos_Central_Court_P.htm