(no subject)
Title: Cross The Line Whenever You Want To
Pairing: Liam/Zayn
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sometimes Liam forgets that he’s more experienced than Zayn, that he had his first proper kiss years before Zayn had his...
Author's Notes: PWP, but with lots of really ridiculous feelings. Thanks to loupooh and prettykitty_aya for encouragement and for looking this over. Particular thanks to alwayseven for looking at it multiple times and for pushing me to make it better than it was. All remaining mistakes are my own.
Sometimes Liam forgets that he’s more experienced than Zayn, that he had his first proper kiss years before Zayn had his, that he’s had way more sex than Zayn--maybe not in number of partners, but certainly in number of times.
It’s easy to forget with Zayn sinking to his knees, curling his hand around Liam’s cock and following with his mouth.
He slips his fingers into Zayn’s hair. It’s soft, unstyled, makes him look like he just rolled out of bed. Liam prefers it this way, feels like they’re on more even ground when Zayn doesn’t look so perfect.
Still, he’s too beautiful, all eyelashes and smooth skin, and Liam doesn’t want this to be over before it’s even started so he closes his eyes, lets his head fall back against the wall. Zayn is sucking him in earnest and Liam chokes back a gasp, tries to say Zayn’s name, but his lips won’t form the word.
They’ve done this enough times that Zayn can read him, knows his tells, and he pulls off just before Liam tumbles over the edge. Liam is so worked up that it’s nearly painful, being denied release. He opens his mouth to protest, but Zayn is standing up, crowding into his space, and saying, “I want to do this, like all the way.”
Liam forces his eyes open, grips Zayn’s arms to anchor himself because he doesn’t feel steady at all. “What?”
“I want you to fuck me,” Zayn says, low and rougher than he normally sounds. His mouth is pink, slick, and Liam can‘t tear his eyes away from it.
“You’re sure?” Liam asks, and Zayn laughs, rolls his eyes.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”
But Zayn hasn’t asked, not really. He’s just sort of put it out there on offer and Liam’s having a little trouble catching up to the idea. It’s not something they’ve done before--it’s not something Liam’s done at all--and they haven‘t discussed it, but he doesn’t think Zayn’s done it with anyone else either.
“I won’t know what to do,” Liam says. His face feels hot and he knows his cheeks have probably gone pink. Again, he wonders how Zayn manages to make him feel like the inexperienced one.
Zayn smiles and it’s soft, affectionate. “We’ll talk each other through it, yeah?”
Liam’s fingers clench on Zayn’s arms. He’s still so hard and when Zayn presses closer he has trouble filling his lungs with air. “I don’t want to hurt you, though.”
“Impossible,” Zayn says, taking Liam’s face in his hands.
“Zayn…”
A hand over his mouth cuts him off. “You’ll be careful, Liam.”
“Of course I will,” Liam says, and Zayn smiles like that settles it, tugs Liam toward the bed.
“Wait. Don’t we need…”
“I have everything we need,” Zayn assures him, but he stops pulling, studies Liam’s face for a second and then drops his hand from where it‘s wrapped around Liam‘s wrist. “You’re really freaking out about this?”
Liam closes the gap Zayn’s put between them, presses their foreheads together because he doesn‘t want the distance, doesn’t want Zayn to think it‘s because he doesn‘t want him when he says, “A bit, yeah.”
He won’t apologize for it--for worrying. Things have been so easy between them and Liam’s afraid to change even one thing, afraid to cross this line and not be able to go back.
Zayn says, “It’s just sex. You’re over thinking it, mate.”
“That’s all it is, is it?”
Zayn huffs out a laugh, rubs a hand over his face. “That’s not how I meant it.”
Liam knows, but Zayn is still fully dressed and Liam is just standing in the middle of the room with his shirt off and his trousers shoved down and it’s making him feel a bit ridiculous. He moves to pull them back up, but Zayn stops him, sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls Liam in by the hips.
“Hey, don’t do that.”
Liam nods, lets his hands fall onto Zayn’s shoulders and squeezes a little.
“We can just forget about it,” Zayn says. He looks up at Liam, his thumbs tracing the juts of Liam’s hip bones, and Liam doesn’t want to forget about it, he just needs some time.
He kicks his trousers all the way off, leans forward and tugs Zayn’s shirt over his head. Zayn gives him a questioning look, but gets up when Liam pulls on his arms, lets Liam shove his trousers down.
“What are you doing,” Zayn says, and Liam pulls him forward and kisses him.
Liam loves the scrape of Zayn’s teeth over his bottom lip, loves the way their bodies fit together, the way Zayn chases his lips when he pulls back. It’s familiar, comfortable, but Liam doesn’t think it’ll ever get old.
“Can we just do this for a while?” he asks.
Zayn shuffles them back toward the bed, stops when the backs of Liam’s knees hit the edge of the mattress. “Can we do what? Snog?”
“Yeah,“ Liam says. He lets himself fall back onto the bed, takes Zayn down with him and scoots them up until he’s laid out in the middle of it with Zayn fully on top of him.
Zayn braces himself over Liam on his elbows, runs his nose up the underside of Liam‘s jaw. “For as long as you want.”
They kiss until Liam’s head is empty of anything but the feel of Zayn’s lips on his, Zayn’s body pressing him into the mattress. One of Zayn‘s hands sweeps along Liam‘s ribs and it’s hard for Liam to remember what he was so worried about before.
“I can’t mess it up, can I?” Liam asks. It’s like a revelation and he bares his neck for Zayn who’s trailing his lips along Liam’s skin.
“Mess what up?” Zayn mumbles, moving down to bite at Liam’s shoulder.
“Sex. Us,” Liam says, and he laughs when Zayn pops his head up.
“Of course not, you idiot.” His eyes are soft and he sounds fond, even through his exasperation. It loosens something in Liam’s chest.
He rolls his hips up against Zayn’s, trails a hand down to the small of his back and uses it to press Zayn closer. “Okay then.”
“Yeah?” Zayn asks, gripping Liam’s hips and holding them still, looking for the truth on Liam’s face.
It’s written there, right on the surface. Liam can’t hide anything, not even from the public, and particularly not from Zayn. And he wants this, now that he’s thought it through, or maybe now that he’s stopped thinking so much about it. “Go get the stuff.”
Zayn doesn’t waste any time, is up off the bed before Liam can blink. He’d laugh if it weren’t so hot, how much Zayn wants it, wants him.
He comes back and presses the lube into Liam’s hand, tosses a couple of condoms onto the bed. He takes Liam’s empty hand in his and brings it up to his mouth, closes his teeth around the pad of his thumb.
“Open me up.”
He lays himself out on the bed and Liam can hardly breath and look at him at the same time. He almost wishes they were doing this the other way around, at least the first time. He wishes he knew what it felt like, what he was about to do. He might be less nervous that way.
“You’ll say if it’s too much, yeah?” he whispers, stroking a hand down his back.
“I will.” Zayn shifts onto his side, hooks one of his knees up to his chest. When Liam doesn’t immediately move in, he sticks out a hand. “Give it, I’ll do it myself.”
The idea of that is so hot that Liam has to squeeze a hand around the base of his cock. “Bossy,” he murmurs, but he flips the cap, slicks up his first finger and climbs onto the bed at Zayn‘s back.
“Go on, then,” Zayn encourages.
“My hands are shaking,” Liam admits. He curls one of them around Zayn’s hip, takes a steadying breath.
“It’s just another way to be close to you, yeah?” Zayn says, twisting his head to look at Liam.
It’s exactly the right thing to say and it gives Liam the courage to push one finger in, so slowly that Zayn huffs out a frustrated breath and reaches back to grab Liam’s wrist, guide him along.
“You can…I’ve done this a bit. On my own.”
Liam bites his lip, wishes Zayn had let him see that, thinks he’ll have to ask for it sometime when it’s not so important for Liam to be the one doing this.
He takes his time, despite Zayn’s impatience, because he can tell it isn’t comfortable, can see the way Zayn tries to hide his face in the mattress any time the stretch becomes too much. Zayn isn’t entirely hard anymore and Liam wants to ask if he should stop, but he knows it would piss Zayn off so he keeps his mouth shut, repeats the press of his fingers when he hits a spot that makes Zayn gasp in something less like pain.
He works at that spot with two fingers until Zayn is pressing back into it, making little noises of pleasure, and then he adds another.
When Zayn says he’s ready, Liam doesn’t question it, just rolls a condom on and slicks himself up, flips Zayn onto his back because he wants to be able to see his face.
He drops his forehead onto Zayn’s shoulder and starts to push in as slow as he can, letting Zayn adjust to the feel of him.
“You’ve got to breathe, babe,” he says, when he can’t feel the rise and fall of Zayn’s chest anymore.
“Breathing. Right.” Zayn sucks in air, blows it out slowly, repeats the action.
“Alright?” Liam asks, and he feels Zayn nod.
“Doesn’t hurt so much. Just feels…weird. Full.” His eyebrows are pulled together, though, and his jaw is clenched.
Liam presses his forehead to Zayn’s and sucks in a breath. “Want me to stop?”
Zayn wraps his hands around Liam’s biceps, squeezes . “Don’t you dare.”
He bites down on Zayn’s shoulder, slides the rest of the way in, and Zayn’s breath hitches. His fingers tighten again on Liam’s arms. “Just give me a second, yeah?”
Liam holds still until his arms shake with it, until he’s the one forgetting to breathe. When Zayn finally prompts him to move, Liam isn’t sure he even remembers how.
Zayn digs the heel of his foot into Liam’s lower back and makes a sound in the back of his throat and that gets Liam moving, just shallow thrusts until Zayn starts bucking up into it, and then deeper. He works at the angle until Zayn is clenching and unclenching his fists in the sheets, until his head is thrown back, his mouth slack.
Liam isn’t going to last, is so close already, but he wants to bring Zayn off first. He wraps his hand around Zayn’s cock, works it in time with his thrusts, but the way that makes Zayn clench around him is too much. He feels heat pool low in his belly, thrusts in deep one last time and comes.
He pulls out slowly, takes the condom off and ties it, tosses it onto the bedside table. Zayn’s hand is working his own cock now and Liam takes a second to appreciate the view before finding the lube, slicking his fingers back up and pressing three inside. With his other hand, he grips Zayn’s wrist, tugs his hand off of his dick and replaces it with his mouth.
He lets Zayn buck up, lets him tangle his fingers in his hair and push his head down. He likes making Zayn lose control, likes making him forget courtesy. Zayn doesn’t give any warning before he’s coming down Liam’s throat and Liam has to pull off, doesn’t catch it all in his mouth.
While Zayn is coming down, Liam goes to the toilet. He flushes the condom, washes his hands and wets a washcloth, brings it back out and cleans Zayn up as best as he can.
He intends to take the washcloth back, but Zayn reaches a hand out for him and Liam lets himself be tugged back into bed. His limbs feel heavy and sweat is cooling on his skin, making the room feel chilly. He pulls the covers up over them both and scoots down to tuck his face into Zayn’s neck.
Zayn’s palm is pressing into his lower back making Liam feel anchored there, like the room could fall down around them and he’d be fine tucked into Zayn’s side, like he might not even notice if it did.
“Thinking too much down there?” Zayn asks, and he sound a little worried. “Didn’t talk you into doing something you didn’t really want to do, did I?”
“What? No,” Liam says, and he props himself up on an elbow, hopes that he looks as blissed out as he feels, hopes that Zayn can see it.
He must, because he smiles and pulls Liam down for a kiss, mumbles, “Not freaking out, then?” against his lips.
“Really, really not,” Liam says.
Zayn laughs, low and throaty, lets Liam rearrange them until they’re on their sides, face to face. “Good,” he says. “Because I’m hoping you’ll say that’s something we can do again.”
Liam slips one of his legs between Zayn’s, moves in closer, whispers, “Yeah. And maybe the other way around?”
“Really?” Zayn asks, and Liam nods, ducks down and presses his lips into the hollow of Zayn’s throat.
“If you want.”
When Zayn says, “I want to try everything with you.” Liam knows he’ll say yes to whatever Zayn asks without hesitation.
Pairing: Liam/Zayn
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sometimes Liam forgets that he’s more experienced than Zayn, that he had his first proper kiss years before Zayn had his...
Author's Notes: PWP, but with lots of really ridiculous feelings. Thanks to loupooh and prettykitty_aya for encouragement and for looking this over. Particular thanks to alwayseven for looking at it multiple times and for pushing me to make it better than it was. All remaining mistakes are my own.
Sometimes Liam forgets that he’s more experienced than Zayn, that he had his first proper kiss years before Zayn had his, that he’s had way more sex than Zayn--maybe not in number of partners, but certainly in number of times.
It’s easy to forget with Zayn sinking to his knees, curling his hand around Liam’s cock and following with his mouth.
He slips his fingers into Zayn’s hair. It’s soft, unstyled, makes him look like he just rolled out of bed. Liam prefers it this way, feels like they’re on more even ground when Zayn doesn’t look so perfect.
Still, he’s too beautiful, all eyelashes and smooth skin, and Liam doesn’t want this to be over before it’s even started so he closes his eyes, lets his head fall back against the wall. Zayn is sucking him in earnest and Liam chokes back a gasp, tries to say Zayn’s name, but his lips won’t form the word.
They’ve done this enough times that Zayn can read him, knows his tells, and he pulls off just before Liam tumbles over the edge. Liam is so worked up that it’s nearly painful, being denied release. He opens his mouth to protest, but Zayn is standing up, crowding into his space, and saying, “I want to do this, like all the way.”
Liam forces his eyes open, grips Zayn’s arms to anchor himself because he doesn’t feel steady at all. “What?”
“I want you to fuck me,” Zayn says, low and rougher than he normally sounds. His mouth is pink, slick, and Liam can‘t tear his eyes away from it.
“You’re sure?” Liam asks, and Zayn laughs, rolls his eyes.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”
But Zayn hasn’t asked, not really. He’s just sort of put it out there on offer and Liam’s having a little trouble catching up to the idea. It’s not something they’ve done before--it’s not something Liam’s done at all--and they haven‘t discussed it, but he doesn’t think Zayn’s done it with anyone else either.
“I won’t know what to do,” Liam says. His face feels hot and he knows his cheeks have probably gone pink. Again, he wonders how Zayn manages to make him feel like the inexperienced one.
Zayn smiles and it’s soft, affectionate. “We’ll talk each other through it, yeah?”
Liam’s fingers clench on Zayn’s arms. He’s still so hard and when Zayn presses closer he has trouble filling his lungs with air. “I don’t want to hurt you, though.”
“Impossible,” Zayn says, taking Liam’s face in his hands.
“Zayn…”
A hand over his mouth cuts him off. “You’ll be careful, Liam.”
“Of course I will,” Liam says, and Zayn smiles like that settles it, tugs Liam toward the bed.
“Wait. Don’t we need…”
“I have everything we need,” Zayn assures him, but he stops pulling, studies Liam’s face for a second and then drops his hand from where it‘s wrapped around Liam‘s wrist. “You’re really freaking out about this?”
Liam closes the gap Zayn’s put between them, presses their foreheads together because he doesn‘t want the distance, doesn’t want Zayn to think it‘s because he doesn‘t want him when he says, “A bit, yeah.”
He won’t apologize for it--for worrying. Things have been so easy between them and Liam’s afraid to change even one thing, afraid to cross this line and not be able to go back.
Zayn says, “It’s just sex. You’re over thinking it, mate.”
“That’s all it is, is it?”
Zayn huffs out a laugh, rubs a hand over his face. “That’s not how I meant it.”
Liam knows, but Zayn is still fully dressed and Liam is just standing in the middle of the room with his shirt off and his trousers shoved down and it’s making him feel a bit ridiculous. He moves to pull them back up, but Zayn stops him, sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls Liam in by the hips.
“Hey, don’t do that.”
Liam nods, lets his hands fall onto Zayn’s shoulders and squeezes a little.
“We can just forget about it,” Zayn says. He looks up at Liam, his thumbs tracing the juts of Liam’s hip bones, and Liam doesn’t want to forget about it, he just needs some time.
He kicks his trousers all the way off, leans forward and tugs Zayn’s shirt over his head. Zayn gives him a questioning look, but gets up when Liam pulls on his arms, lets Liam shove his trousers down.
“What are you doing,” Zayn says, and Liam pulls him forward and kisses him.
Liam loves the scrape of Zayn’s teeth over his bottom lip, loves the way their bodies fit together, the way Zayn chases his lips when he pulls back. It’s familiar, comfortable, but Liam doesn’t think it’ll ever get old.
“Can we just do this for a while?” he asks.
Zayn shuffles them back toward the bed, stops when the backs of Liam’s knees hit the edge of the mattress. “Can we do what? Snog?”
“Yeah,“ Liam says. He lets himself fall back onto the bed, takes Zayn down with him and scoots them up until he’s laid out in the middle of it with Zayn fully on top of him.
Zayn braces himself over Liam on his elbows, runs his nose up the underside of Liam‘s jaw. “For as long as you want.”
They kiss until Liam’s head is empty of anything but the feel of Zayn’s lips on his, Zayn’s body pressing him into the mattress. One of Zayn‘s hands sweeps along Liam‘s ribs and it’s hard for Liam to remember what he was so worried about before.
“I can’t mess it up, can I?” Liam asks. It’s like a revelation and he bares his neck for Zayn who’s trailing his lips along Liam’s skin.
“Mess what up?” Zayn mumbles, moving down to bite at Liam’s shoulder.
“Sex. Us,” Liam says, and he laughs when Zayn pops his head up.
“Of course not, you idiot.” His eyes are soft and he sounds fond, even through his exasperation. It loosens something in Liam’s chest.
He rolls his hips up against Zayn’s, trails a hand down to the small of his back and uses it to press Zayn closer. “Okay then.”
“Yeah?” Zayn asks, gripping Liam’s hips and holding them still, looking for the truth on Liam’s face.
It’s written there, right on the surface. Liam can’t hide anything, not even from the public, and particularly not from Zayn. And he wants this, now that he’s thought it through, or maybe now that he’s stopped thinking so much about it. “Go get the stuff.”
Zayn doesn’t waste any time, is up off the bed before Liam can blink. He’d laugh if it weren’t so hot, how much Zayn wants it, wants him.
He comes back and presses the lube into Liam’s hand, tosses a couple of condoms onto the bed. He takes Liam’s empty hand in his and brings it up to his mouth, closes his teeth around the pad of his thumb.
“Open me up.”
He lays himself out on the bed and Liam can hardly breath and look at him at the same time. He almost wishes they were doing this the other way around, at least the first time. He wishes he knew what it felt like, what he was about to do. He might be less nervous that way.
“You’ll say if it’s too much, yeah?” he whispers, stroking a hand down his back.
“I will.” Zayn shifts onto his side, hooks one of his knees up to his chest. When Liam doesn’t immediately move in, he sticks out a hand. “Give it, I’ll do it myself.”
The idea of that is so hot that Liam has to squeeze a hand around the base of his cock. “Bossy,” he murmurs, but he flips the cap, slicks up his first finger and climbs onto the bed at Zayn‘s back.
“Go on, then,” Zayn encourages.
“My hands are shaking,” Liam admits. He curls one of them around Zayn’s hip, takes a steadying breath.
“It’s just another way to be close to you, yeah?” Zayn says, twisting his head to look at Liam.
It’s exactly the right thing to say and it gives Liam the courage to push one finger in, so slowly that Zayn huffs out a frustrated breath and reaches back to grab Liam’s wrist, guide him along.
“You can…I’ve done this a bit. On my own.”
Liam bites his lip, wishes Zayn had let him see that, thinks he’ll have to ask for it sometime when it’s not so important for Liam to be the one doing this.
He takes his time, despite Zayn’s impatience, because he can tell it isn’t comfortable, can see the way Zayn tries to hide his face in the mattress any time the stretch becomes too much. Zayn isn’t entirely hard anymore and Liam wants to ask if he should stop, but he knows it would piss Zayn off so he keeps his mouth shut, repeats the press of his fingers when he hits a spot that makes Zayn gasp in something less like pain.
He works at that spot with two fingers until Zayn is pressing back into it, making little noises of pleasure, and then he adds another.
When Zayn says he’s ready, Liam doesn’t question it, just rolls a condom on and slicks himself up, flips Zayn onto his back because he wants to be able to see his face.
He drops his forehead onto Zayn’s shoulder and starts to push in as slow as he can, letting Zayn adjust to the feel of him.
“You’ve got to breathe, babe,” he says, when he can’t feel the rise and fall of Zayn’s chest anymore.
“Breathing. Right.” Zayn sucks in air, blows it out slowly, repeats the action.
“Alright?” Liam asks, and he feels Zayn nod.
“Doesn’t hurt so much. Just feels…weird. Full.” His eyebrows are pulled together, though, and his jaw is clenched.
Liam presses his forehead to Zayn’s and sucks in a breath. “Want me to stop?”
Zayn wraps his hands around Liam’s biceps, squeezes . “Don’t you dare.”
He bites down on Zayn’s shoulder, slides the rest of the way in, and Zayn’s breath hitches. His fingers tighten again on Liam’s arms. “Just give me a second, yeah?”
Liam holds still until his arms shake with it, until he’s the one forgetting to breathe. When Zayn finally prompts him to move, Liam isn’t sure he even remembers how.
Zayn digs the heel of his foot into Liam’s lower back and makes a sound in the back of his throat and that gets Liam moving, just shallow thrusts until Zayn starts bucking up into it, and then deeper. He works at the angle until Zayn is clenching and unclenching his fists in the sheets, until his head is thrown back, his mouth slack.
Liam isn’t going to last, is so close already, but he wants to bring Zayn off first. He wraps his hand around Zayn’s cock, works it in time with his thrusts, but the way that makes Zayn clench around him is too much. He feels heat pool low in his belly, thrusts in deep one last time and comes.
He pulls out slowly, takes the condom off and ties it, tosses it onto the bedside table. Zayn’s hand is working his own cock now and Liam takes a second to appreciate the view before finding the lube, slicking his fingers back up and pressing three inside. With his other hand, he grips Zayn’s wrist, tugs his hand off of his dick and replaces it with his mouth.
He lets Zayn buck up, lets him tangle his fingers in his hair and push his head down. He likes making Zayn lose control, likes making him forget courtesy. Zayn doesn’t give any warning before he’s coming down Liam’s throat and Liam has to pull off, doesn’t catch it all in his mouth.
While Zayn is coming down, Liam goes to the toilet. He flushes the condom, washes his hands and wets a washcloth, brings it back out and cleans Zayn up as best as he can.
He intends to take the washcloth back, but Zayn reaches a hand out for him and Liam lets himself be tugged back into bed. His limbs feel heavy and sweat is cooling on his skin, making the room feel chilly. He pulls the covers up over them both and scoots down to tuck his face into Zayn’s neck.
Zayn’s palm is pressing into his lower back making Liam feel anchored there, like the room could fall down around them and he’d be fine tucked into Zayn’s side, like he might not even notice if it did.
“Thinking too much down there?” Zayn asks, and he sound a little worried. “Didn’t talk you into doing something you didn’t really want to do, did I?”
“What? No,” Liam says, and he props himself up on an elbow, hopes that he looks as blissed out as he feels, hopes that Zayn can see it.
He must, because he smiles and pulls Liam down for a kiss, mumbles, “Not freaking out, then?” against his lips.
“Really, really not,” Liam says.
Zayn laughs, low and throaty, lets Liam rearrange them until they’re on their sides, face to face. “Good,” he says. “Because I’m hoping you’ll say that’s something we can do again.”
Liam slips one of his legs between Zayn’s, moves in closer, whispers, “Yeah. And maybe the other way around?”
“Really?” Zayn asks, and Liam nods, ducks down and presses his lips into the hollow of Zayn’s throat.
“If you want.”
When Zayn says, “I want to try everything with you.” Liam knows he’ll say yes to whatever Zayn asks without hesitation.