I'm not mad or offended but...vndictivespriteJanuary 18 2007, 04:46:54 UTC
this post concerns me for a few reasons
You seem to be placing a lot of importance on other people's appearance as well as your own. I understand that when you see someone who is "heavily modified" that you can maybe assume some things about them i.e. they're more open minded. There are plenty of people with no body modifications at all who are amazing and you would probably fit in just fine with. I am the only heavily modified person in the chemistry Ph.D. program (125 students total) but I don't have trouble fitting in with my fellow scientists. In fact, a large number of my friends aren't modified. We're friends because our personalities match, not necessarily because our appearances do. I would rather talk to Einstein then Shannon Larratt, but I'm also a scientist, that's how I identify, not as a "heavily modded" woman.
I understand that apprehension about your looks. When I go to National American Chemical Society conferences I wonder if my piercings are going to affect how people think of me (as far as facial piercings I have my bridge, eybrows, anti-eyebrows, rook, and my lobes are stretched to a 00) but my boss doesn't care, so fuck anyone else who does. I also, get myself pierced because I think it's beautiful, and I know there are people out there who think it's ugly, gross, and wrong. There will never be a time when everyone you meet thinks you're beautiful. What matters is what you think of yourself. You need to have that inner strength and confidence in your appearance and then it won't matter (as much) what anyone else thinks about you. We all have our weak moments (after all we're only human) where we may get down on ourselves, but those are few and far between. If there's something you're really not happy about, then strive to change it and be content with your choice.
It could be that I'm way off base here, after all I only slept for three hours last night and it's already past my bedtime. Please take that into account when you read this :)
Re: I'm not mad or offended but...lisaisgodJanuary 18 2007, 05:39:07 UTC
You're not way off base at all. A bit off kilter, but you're where you're supposed to be for the most part. But, for the sake of time and my own fatigue, I'll try to be concise.
I generally fit in just fine with either group, but in my experience it's easier to talk to other modded people (common interest) and they're more laid back (except for nit-picky things... I find that more modified people are nit-picky about more things... or maybe it just comes out more?). Except for the pretentious douchebags (adressed above), I just find them easier to strike up and maintain conversation with. Their bodies are conversation pieces, makes talking easier. And those were, obviously, extreme examples to make my point. True, but extreme.
The next part isn't going to come out right, I know it won't... but I'll try my best to articulate how I'm thinking at the moment.
The apprehension about my looks is more in terms of future career goals and upsetting my family. It's not so much about random people. I get told I'm so cute, except for my nose, all the time now. It doesn't really bother me. And the classic, "Why would you do that?" all the time-- and I'm barely modified. I think it's just that the mods I want (such as a bridge piercing) are just the more uncommon mods, and as such they'd attract more attention and be less acceptable. And I'm vain and a bit conceited, I won't lie-- no point in it, it's probably obvious anyway. I love my looks and I know I'm pretty... but my aesthetic runs towards a more modified one. Which could be a problem because, like I said before, I want to work in the business world and I'm really good with people (better known as being a total bullshitter and good at pretending to be patient and helpful), so I want to have a fair amount of contact with the public. And, as terrible as it is to say and know, it's not regarded as professional to look the way I would choose to look in an ideal world. Modifications aren't so important to my confidence, self-esteem or self-identity that I'd be willing to make a semi-martyr of my career; that I need to have them. (That sentence made no sense, sorry) To me, it's just aesthetics (and some self-expression), and I know I have a strong personality anyway... so I know I don't need it so much. (See, that sounds like I'm disparaging to those who help define themselves through their body modification, but that's not the way I mean it in any sense.) I just feel like I need all the opportunities thrown my way, and I'm not willing to give any of them up for my looks when I feel I'm beautiful now. Which sounds wierd since it sounds like I'm sacrificing my looks for a career.
Know what I'm getting at? At all? Everything came out emotionally and mostly irrationally in my post because my hormones are everywhere at the moment and, admittedly, sometimes they make me crazy. Imagine how much sense it would've made if I wrote it next week instead of tonight while bored as hell at work. A bit ironic that I kinda want "logic" tattooed on my inner lip, when I can be anything but logical sometimes.
So much for being brief.
P.S. I'd love to see a picture (IAM page?). I loveee anti-eyebrows! and I think they'd look neat with a bridge.
Re: I'm not mad or offended but...vndictivespriteJanuary 22 2007, 22:09:36 UTC
Okay, sorry it took me so long to reply back to your comment. As far as not wanting to jeopardize your future career, believe me I fully understand that. I am going to have no problem removing my facial jewelery when I become a professor. If you're not going to be in your career for awhile then why worry about it? I mean, I've never heard of someone getting denied a job because they had scars on their face. Then again, most people have an aversion to having scars on their face, although it's something that I personally have come to terms with.
If you can get away with it now, then screw it, you'll probably spend the rest of your life looking "professional", so enjoy your freedom while you can, I know I am.
I don't think a lot of people use their body modifications as the only defining factor of who they are. I mean, while I do mine for aesthetic reasons, they definitely help showcase who I am. They show that I'm not afraid to be myself, that I'm creative, and perhaps a little naughty :) There is of course much more to me than that, but would it be so apparent without my mods? probably not.
I don't have an IAM, but I can be a vain bastard at times, and have recently posted pictures of myself on my elljay. I'll check to make sure it's a public post. Unfortunately they're taken from the side, but that's the more flattering angle, given my weak chin so I went with those.
You seem to be placing a lot of importance on other people's appearance as well as your own. I understand that when you see someone who is "heavily modified" that you can maybe assume some things about them i.e. they're more open minded. There are plenty of people with no body modifications at all who are amazing and you would probably fit in just fine with. I am the only heavily modified person in the chemistry Ph.D. program (125 students total) but I don't have trouble fitting in with my fellow scientists. In fact, a large number of my friends aren't modified. We're friends because our personalities match, not necessarily because our appearances do. I would rather talk to Einstein then Shannon Larratt, but I'm also a scientist, that's how I identify, not as a "heavily modded" woman.
I understand that apprehension about your looks. When I go to National American Chemical Society conferences I wonder if my piercings are going to affect how people think of me (as far as facial piercings I have my bridge, eybrows, anti-eyebrows, rook, and my lobes are stretched to a 00) but my boss doesn't care, so fuck anyone else who does. I also, get myself pierced because I think it's beautiful, and I know there are people out there who think it's ugly, gross, and wrong. There will never be a time when everyone you meet thinks you're beautiful. What matters is what you think of yourself. You need to have that inner strength and confidence in your appearance and then it won't matter (as much) what anyone else thinks about you. We all have our weak moments (after all we're only human) where we may get down on ourselves, but those are few and far between. If there's something you're really not happy about, then strive to change it and be content with your choice.
It could be that I'm way off base here, after all I only slept for three hours last night and it's already past my bedtime. Please take that into account when you read this :)
Reply
But, for the sake of time and my own fatigue, I'll try to be concise.
I generally fit in just fine with either group, but in my experience it's easier to talk to other modded people (common interest) and they're more laid back (except for nit-picky things... I find that more modified people are nit-picky about more things... or maybe it just comes out more?). Except for the pretentious douchebags (adressed above), I just find them easier to strike up and maintain conversation with. Their bodies are conversation pieces, makes talking easier.
And those were, obviously, extreme examples to make my point. True, but extreme.
The next part isn't going to come out right, I know it won't... but I'll try my best to articulate how I'm thinking at the moment.
The apprehension about my looks is more in terms of future career goals and upsetting my family. It's not so much about random people. I get told I'm so cute, except for my nose, all the time now. It doesn't really bother me. And the classic, "Why would you do that?" all the time-- and I'm barely modified. I think it's just that the mods I want (such as a bridge piercing) are just the more uncommon mods, and as such they'd attract more attention and be less acceptable.
And I'm vain and a bit conceited, I won't lie-- no point in it, it's probably obvious anyway. I love my looks and I know I'm pretty... but my aesthetic runs towards a more modified one.
Which could be a problem because, like I said before, I want to work in the business world and I'm really good with people (better known as being a total bullshitter and good at pretending to be patient and helpful), so I want to have a fair amount of contact with the public. And, as terrible as it is to say and know, it's not regarded as professional to look the way I would choose to look in an ideal world.
Modifications aren't so important to my confidence, self-esteem or self-identity that I'd be willing to make a semi-martyr of my career; that I need to have them. (That sentence made no sense, sorry) To me, it's just aesthetics (and some self-expression), and I know I have a strong personality anyway... so I know I don't need it so much.
(See, that sounds like I'm disparaging to those who help define themselves through their body modification, but that's not the way I mean it in any sense.)
I just feel like I need all the opportunities thrown my way, and I'm not willing to give any of them up for my looks when I feel I'm beautiful now.
Which sounds wierd since it sounds like I'm sacrificing my looks for a career.
Know what I'm getting at? At all?
Everything came out emotionally and mostly irrationally in my post because my hormones are everywhere at the moment and, admittedly, sometimes they make me crazy.
Imagine how much sense it would've made if I wrote it next week instead of tonight while bored as hell at work.
A bit ironic that I kinda want "logic" tattooed on my inner lip, when I can be anything but logical sometimes.
So much for being brief.
P.S. I'd love to see a picture (IAM page?). I loveee anti-eyebrows! and I think they'd look neat with a bridge.
Reply
If you can get away with it now, then screw it, you'll probably spend the rest of your life looking "professional", so enjoy your freedom while you can, I know I am.
I don't think a lot of people use their body modifications as the only defining factor of who they are. I mean, while I do mine for aesthetic reasons, they definitely help showcase who I am. They show that I'm not afraid to be myself, that I'm creative, and perhaps a little naughty :) There is of course much more to me than that, but would it be so apparent without my mods? probably not.
I don't have an IAM, but I can be a vain bastard at times, and have recently posted pictures of myself on my elljay. I'll check to make sure it's a public post. Unfortunately they're taken from the side, but that's the more flattering angle, given my weak chin so I went with those.
Reply
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