I just want and need internships (and a job when I get out of school). I don't want to be pretty much dismissed out of hand because there are 5439853475023 more students (or graduates) who want and need this as much as I do and they'll be more serious/dedicated/etc etc than I would be because I happen to chose a different aesthetic.
Other than recruiters and my mom and siblings caring what I look like, I really don't care. It's just that I need somethign from recruiters, so you have to play their game to some extent to get what you want. And I love my mom, and I don't want her thinking I'm wierd because I like ink and metal.
My mom's family (which is the only family I have contact with) is SO puritanical. My mom got really legitimately offended when I said "vagina" in front of her (not in a derogatory way, in a totally legitimate way). Then I told her it was a medical term and she shouldn't be offended and she said it still wasn't very polite and I shouldn't talk about it in front of her. That's the kind of person she is, you can't persuade her that you're not being deliberately rude and there's no way in hell you can persuade her to see things more your way-- or even just understand where you're coming from. I don't think she'd ever do anything drastic like stop talking to me or stop paying for school, but she'd always keep thinking I'm a freak in the back of her head.
And I meant you're an idiot if you say that looking different doesn't matter-- not you're an idiot if you don't care that people will think bad stuff about you. Because to say that what you look like doesn't matter, shows absolutely no forethought. Sure, it doesn't matter if you live in a cave in the woods... but it matters when you want to enter (and be successful in) the business world, like me. And when you have a very conservative family that called your nose "disgusting" when you had one nostril piercing (that was my extended family though, my mom just looked pissed and said she wished I hadn't done it).
And I was kind of heading in that direction-- the essay one-- I was just ranting (hence bad language and terrible structure etc etc) first to get it all out then analyze it more.
Okay, so I'm even less modified than you and wonder if I "qualify" to even answer, but:
That's the kind of person she is, you can't persuade her that you're not being deliberately rude and there's no way in hell you can persuade her to see things more your way-- or even just understand where you're coming from.
Yeah. I think that a lot of people just don't really realize how much this can affect people.
I want a cutting very badly, and have for a long time. But I want it in a visible place, and I know what my family's reaction would be. I don't want to never be able to see people I love and care about without serious awkwardness.
I'm sure I'll eventually do it. But I'm not ready for my presence at family gatherings to disturb everyone, and I'm not the kind of "fuck my family!" person to not care, or not go, or cut them off.
Yeah. She wouldn't stop talking to me or stop paying for school, but I feel like for a long time she'd just be uncomfortable with it. And I love my Mommy a lot, she's my favorite person on earth... I don't want her to feel any sort of ambiguous or negative feelings towards me. And she's sacrificed so much for us, she's had a lot of hardship, she's a strong, stron lady and she loves us sooo much. She just doesn't deserve to have me stress her out because I chose to do somethign with my body. Body modification and freedom of choice is really important to me, but my Mommy is moreso and probably always will be. I mean, I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but that's exactly how I'd feel, and how I feel whenever she sees a mod she didn't know about. Thank god she knows about them all at the moment.
And I love my Mommy a lot, she's my favorite person on earth... I don't want her to feel any sort of ambiguous or negative feelings towards me. And she's sacrificed so much for us, she's had a lot of hardship, she's a strong, stron lady and she loves us sooo much. She just doesn't deserve to have me stress her out because I chose to do somethign with my body.
Other than recruiters and my mom and siblings caring what I look like, I really don't care. It's just that I need somethign from recruiters, so you have to play their game to some extent to get what you want. And I love my mom, and I don't want her thinking I'm wierd because I like ink and metal.
My mom's family (which is the only family I have contact with) is SO puritanical. My mom got really legitimately offended when I said "vagina" in front of her (not in a derogatory way, in a totally legitimate way). Then I told her it was a medical term and she shouldn't be offended and she said it still wasn't very polite and I shouldn't talk about it in front of her. That's the kind of person she is, you can't persuade her that you're not being deliberately rude and there's no way in hell you can persuade her to see things more your way-- or even just understand where you're coming from.
I don't think she'd ever do anything drastic like stop talking to me or stop paying for school, but she'd always keep thinking I'm a freak in the back of her head.
And I meant you're an idiot if you say that looking different doesn't matter-- not you're an idiot if you don't care that people will think bad stuff about you.
Because to say that what you look like doesn't matter, shows absolutely no forethought. Sure, it doesn't matter if you live in a cave in the woods... but it matters when you want to enter (and be successful in) the business world, like me. And when you have a very conservative family that called your nose "disgusting" when you had one nostril piercing (that was my extended family though, my mom just looked pissed and said she wished I hadn't done it).
And I was kind of heading in that direction-- the essay one-- I was just ranting (hence bad language and terrible structure etc etc) first to get it all out then analyze it more.
Thanks a lot for your feedback.
Reply
That's the kind of person she is, you can't persuade her that you're not being deliberately rude and there's no way in hell you can persuade her to see things more your way-- or even just understand where you're coming from.
Yeah. I think that a lot of people just don't really realize how much this can affect people.
I want a cutting very badly, and have for a long time. But I want it in a visible place, and I know what my family's reaction would be. I don't want to never be able to see people I love and care about without serious awkwardness.
I'm sure I'll eventually do it. But I'm not ready for my presence at family gatherings to disturb everyone, and I'm not the kind of "fuck my family!" person to not care, or not go, or cut them off.
Reply
And I love my Mommy a lot, she's my favorite person on earth... I don't want her to feel any sort of ambiguous or negative feelings towards me.
And she's sacrificed so much for us, she's had a lot of hardship, she's a strong, stron lady and she loves us sooo much. She just doesn't deserve to have me stress her out because I chose to do somethign with my body.
Body modification and freedom of choice is really important to me, but my Mommy is moreso and probably always will be.
I mean, I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but that's exactly how I'd feel, and how I feel whenever she sees a mod she didn't know about.
Thank god she knows about them all at the moment.
Reply
And she's sacrificed so much for us, she's had a lot of hardship, she's a strong, stron lady and she loves us sooo much. She just doesn't deserve to have me stress her out because I chose to do somethign with my body.
EXACTLY.
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