Sometimes I can't wait for my life to finally start
I don't know what to write here. But I felt like writing, after two weeks. I had stopped writing because no matter how much I write about how much that job sucks, writing won't make it go away, and it won't make me feel better about it. Besides, who cares, anyway. Today they called me there, said they wanted to talk to me. They didn't wanna talk about anything, just wanted me to stay till the year of the year. Big NO, I don't care whatever they have to do to find someone else, and I could care less if that makes the school look bad to the parents. The school IS bad, so how could it look good? They don't care about their professionals at all, they're only interested in their fucking money. To hell with them, ALL of them. I regret starting on this job SO much, I had no obligation to say yes to it, yet I said yes because I too was only thinking about how much more money I'd make, I really needed it and that was all I thought. I never expected that sick enviornment to get to me so much, to make me sick, to make me this depressed. And it kills me, you know, to think that none of this had to happen at all, and I can't help but wonder that had I said no, none of these panic attacls would have started again, I wouldn't be crying every day and feeling depressed all the time. Yeah, I know if I hadn't tried I'd probably regret too when I needed more money I'd think "I had another job opportunity and refused it", so yeah, at least I can say I tried. Still, not really worth it if I'lll have to spend the extra money on therapy one more time. I just hope this all goes away as soon as I quit. I'm counting the days now.