What the FUCK?
I know it's not much of a surprise that niggers have incredibly bad grammar and such, but wait until you see these lyrics to the song Show Stopper by Danity Kane.
Diddy starts out by telling these girls he is going to make them stars by rapping these jumbled words:
I keep the hood of that coupe warm
Which I guess means that he never shuts the car off?
Wrinkle free suits on.
Her hand shake from me's a redeemable coupon
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I guess I have to be a nigger to understand.
Knowin me will get you all the little perks
So you need to double back
Throw that auto in reverse
And run me over again
It's pure beauty
Can finally put a face to it
To WHAT? What the FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??
So never stop shorty girl
Leak brake fluid
Jesus Christ! Somebody please explain what point this idiot is trying to make, because to my knowledge, leaking brake fluid is a really bad idea (unless you're going to be a show stoppah)
Tonight pedicures, walkin on better floors
Beat it in your S don, Jimmy Choo, better stores
I'm still waiting for something to make sense. Maybe your floors are automatically better when you have a pedicure, I don't know. Hell I should go out and get one! Then I'll have better floors, too! I won't even have to vaccum any more!
I been around the globe, my English is rusty
Obviously
Trust me, you can hear that ocean when you touch me
No, I think she can hear the ocean when she puts her ear up to yours.
I know you due for sale, you ain't getting stepped on or overlooked
Due for sale? Any woman that puts herself up for sale IS getting stepped on.
Pardon me, forgive me, my name's Sean
Well, first you came out with unintelligable garble and then you still had the balls to say your name? Thanks, Sean now we have a name to go with the moron. And what does each sentence have to do with the sentence before it? This is proof that money is out there and easy to be made. You just have to "rhyme" at the end of your sentences that don't even go together in any language.
I wonder if when he's sitting there talking to his family, if he just rambles shit off that is totally incomprehensable, and his cousin replies with, "I know tha's right!"
The sad part is that I haven't even gotten to the real song yet! What a fucking bomb from the get-go!
Now comes Aubrey to wow the crowd.
Show stoppin' at the latest spot
First damn thing she says and it's already stupid. Who is the person qualified to declare what is the "latest spot" and how do they get this information? What made it late?
The ride shinin' with the open top
Hydraulics make our heads go nod
Hair blowin' in the breeze
Yo, we superstars
I know that was meant to sound like it rhymes. BUT IT DOESN'T! At least she kept to one subject, like all hip hop "artists" do: The car.. well, almost all hip hop artists.. Diddy has no idea where he's at.
Now comes D. Woods.
Put in the keys, make that engine purr
3 in the back, 1 in the passenger
So the other 3 must be in the trunk, because every seat other than the driver's seat is a passenger seat, but what do I know? Who's driving the car? She must be parked at the latest spot trying to get the other 3 out of the trunk, so she moved to the front passenger seat to open the glove compartment and push the trunk button! I got it!
Slow creepin' cause we look that fly
Does that mean that Grandpa is fly? He's a slow creeper too.
All the boys tryin' to taste our candy ride
They're trying to eat your car? Maybe just lick it? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? Are you driving around in a candy bar? Help me?
Here comes the pride and joy of the song:
We in the car, we ride slow
Cause we can't drive and we want to make sure the girls in the trunk don't get hurt.
We doin' things that the girls don't do
Girls don't drive slow in drop-tops? OH I get it. They're riding in the trunk! Yes! Girls don't do that ... normally.
The boys stare, we smile back
All my girls in the rainbow Cadillac, yeah.
That's funny, it looks red in the video. Are you counting all the colors of your makeup? That might make it rainbow. But if it WAS a rainbow Cadillac, I'd be staring at it, too. I haven't seen a circus come to town in years.
Bet you ain't never seen
Chicks ridin' this clean
Nope, you're right. I only see girls riding in garbage trucks with stinky armpits and mustard stained wife beaters. I work at a drive-thru. I see girls riding clean every single day.
Louis Vuitton seats
We do it deadly
Deadly? Did you kill Louis for his seats? What's so deadly about driving slow to show off your Cadillac? Louis Vuitton isn't deadly! It's chick shit! Purses, boots, etc.. There's NOTHING deadly about that. If I see a man walkin around with Louis Vuitton, I know he's a fag, okay? And I don't see any man interested in Louis Vuitton so much that he would stare at the seats of your car because of this name brand. Any man who looks into a car and is able to recognize that the seats are Louis Vuitton only wants to ride with you to get the same men you're trying to get, okay? Don't be surprised when Diddy comes out of the closet.
This is how we keep it poppin'
What are you poppin'? Pimples? Popcorn? You have a popcorn machine from Pimp My Ride?
Make sure that bass is knockin'
If it's knockin, you've got blown speakers. They don't look good in a beautiful rainbow Caddilac with Louis Vuitton seats!
So when you see us ridin'
We call it show stoppin'
I call it showing off. You say tomato, eh.. you know. All you need are Grillz and you'll be set!
We show stoppin'
We show, show stoppin'
We show stoppin'
We show, show stoppin'
That's how we keep it poppin'
Make sure that bass is knockin'
So when you see us ridin'
We call it show stoppin'
This is the part of the song where they just didn't have anything else to write about. Ol' writers' block, if you will. Let's quickly bump off ten seconds of the song with this section. Goddamn does it suck.
We sittin on 22s plus 2.
"This many!" So what's the problem here? You couldn't find anything to rhyme with 24? Whore! No More! Stupid Galore! Look, I did it! By the way, this is what a diva looks like giving you two fingers. Although we can see that she can't possibly show only her index finger because she has that stupid ring that spans both of her fingers, which is obviously the reason why they wanted to throw that "two" in the first place.
Mink bucket seats, neon blue
Color coordinate with them shoes
Those seats are NOT neon blue. Neon blue mink Louis Vuitton seats? Rofl! Neon blue shoes? ROFL! Good thing they match your shoes though! People JUST MIGHT SEE THEM WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING! Since you probably have 32 pairs of shoes, do you have 32 sets of matching mink seats? Just wondering.
Yeah, we divas
But we ride like Big Boys do!
Big Boys wear neon blue pumps with matching Louis Vuitton mink seats? What is WRONG with you?
Black tinted with the white stripe interstate
Lookin' in the mirror at my Bad Boy fitted, yup
Show stoppin' till they lose their breath
Turn the wheel to the right
Turn the wheel to the left
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Sam I Am!
This is for my ladies in the 280s Mercedes
In the H3, Baby Ranges, Bentley Coupes, my Escalades
Say Oh
Break 'em off somethin' proper
Like a real show stopper
This is for my chicas with the Beamers A6s
'67 Chevys, Maserati, or a Lexus
Say Oh
Break 'em off somethin' proper
Like a real show stopper
This is the thing that bugs me. Anybody that's selling albums can obviously afford a very nice looking car. What are you bragging about? I see people in the ghetto with Escalades and Cadillacs! You're not proving a Goddamned thing to me!
Then comes the instrumental break (It's about time.)
Tonight we goin' swervin'
Bustin' slides, hittin' curbs
And ghost ridin' on the whips
Hit tonight
That's what it's gonna be about
Watch my trunk go bouncy bounce
Girls goin' ridin'
First off, why the hell would you do that to a mint condition Cadillac? Hitting curbs and ghost riding? That's what it's gonna be about? Girls going riding? How can you go riding if you're ghost riding the car? Do you even know what ghost riding means? I don't think so. And the trunk is going bouncy bounce because there are still three girls in the fucking thing.
Now here comes the kicker. Sean must have written this:
I know you see a wifey
But peep my ride go hyphy
WHAT?????? That doesn't even make sense to a nigger!
And there you have it. A wonderfully written song with masterpiece lyrics. This is why hip hop is the most listened to music. Songs like this. Obviously most of America is stupid.
Rhea and Micke