On The Tightrope Ch. 3
Title: On The Tightrope ~ Succumbing To Temptation (3/48)
Author: Lire lire_casander
Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: R this chapter. NC-17 overall.
Word Count: 1129
Beta: Lovely gurliemoviegeek. Any mistakes left are my own fault.
Disclaimer: I do not own in any form or shape these characters, JK Rowling does. Just playing with them for my own amusement and yours.
Summary: Harry Potter has saved the world, and now the world has left him out. When desperation becomes too much to bear, he finds solace in an unexpected act of salvation committed by an unexpected hero.
Warnings (overall): Angst. Intents of suicide. Dark themes. Fluff. DH-compliant, including epilogue. Takes place between the final chapter and the epilogue.
Warnings of this chapter: Implied suicide attempt.
Author's Note: Written for 100quills's prompt table using prompt 16. Temptation.
His steps led him towards the Gryffindor Common Room, where he knew he would find Hermione and Ginny. His mind was working on an excuse, on the words he would say to worm his way back into Ginny's heart. However, Harry felt like he shouldn't be the one making up excuses. Granted, he hadn't been there when the Death Eaters ruled the school, when the Carrows taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, when Malfoy had terrorised the students. But he had fought, he had travelled with the fear and the responsibility over his shoulders, he had been attacked by a giant snake, he had died and relived, he had rebounded a killing curse. Harry didn't want all the attention he had earned, but he didn't want oblivion either; the memories were nagging at the back of his mind and he couldn't get rid of them. All he needed was some time to get used to the new life he was forced to lead; however, not even Ginny, who claimed to love him, could give him the space he asked for.
He stopped before the Fat Lady, trying to remember the password and feeling like Neville Longbottom in their First Year. He struggled to recall it, but the painting didn't allow him to think. "Harry Potter," said the Fat Lady, “you don't need any password. Get in." Harry stepped into the common room once the portrait granted him access, with the weird sensation of always being given admission due to his popularity and his actions. However, he didn't have much time to think over that fact because Hermione and Ginny were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, and both had turned their heads when they had heard the noise of the portrait opening.
"You've finally had the decency of coming after me," Ginny said bitterly. Hermione just stared at him with a knowing look in her eyes, a look that Harry interpreted as a warning and a threat.
"We need to talk," he said, ignoring the daggers in Ginny's voice. "There are lots of thinks we should discuss."
"I think I'll go check on Ron to prevent him from choking with a too large bite of anything," Hermione announced, standing up and smoothing her shirt. She left the common room through the portrait, allowing Harry and Ginny to have some time alone.
"Ginny, I thought you would understand..."
"It doesn't matter, I forgive you."
Harry was taken aback by her comment, which he wasn't expecting at all. "What?"
"I accept your apologies and I forgive you, Harry. I know you didn't mean what you said, and I know you didn't mean to hurt me."
"That's true, I didn't want to hurt you, but I'm not apologising for what I said!" Harry exclaimed. "What is there to apologise for? The truth doesn't need to be forgiven ."
"You stated that Malfoy was not a Death Eater. You practically thanked him for helping you to vanquish Voldemort!"
Harry looked at her as though she had grown a second head. "I can't believe it, Gin. Why shouldn't I thank him? The war is over, and that's only because I lived long enough to defeat Voldemort. You and your family saved my life more than once in the process; but the Malfoys did as well. I wouldn't be here otherwise."
"Malfoy gave me the diary that nearly cost me my life! Are you going to forgive him for that too?"
Harry realised then that Ginny wouldn't accept any version of Wizarding History that wasn't hers, and that any attempt on his part would be fruitless. He tried to reason with her, nevertheless. "I cannot move on without forgiving some people, Gin. People can change during a war."
"Everything's the same now that the war is over, Harry. I don't understand why you're insisting on changing things with Malfoy."
"Because not everything's the same anymore, Ginny! Because I am not the same! Because there was a war, because there were murders---"
"Don't you dare speak about the people who died for you!" Ginny exclaimed, her eyes on the verge of tears. "My own brother was killed while he fought for you in a war that wasn't supposed to have existed, and you want me to befriend Malfoy?"
Harry didn't answer. His mind wandered back to that last battle, to Fred's smile frozen on his face forever, to George's silence - a silence that had lasted since then - to Remus and Tonks. The pain was too much to bear.
"You freed us, Harry; everyone expects you to act like a hero, to lead us. What would they think if you accepted some murderers as friends?"
Harry stared at Ginny as though it was the first time he saw her, her words sinking in and piercing his soul, the truth lying underneath awaking a part of him that he thought had been forgotten. The memories of the trials he had attended, of the people he had helped to absolve or condemn, threatened to spill through his eyes in rivers of tears.
"Is that all?" he asked. "Is that all?"
She never answered, and he never insisted. Harry turned around and left the common room again through the portrait. Behind him, Ginny was looking at the empty space where he had once stood.
He wandered around the darkening castle, hearing the cheers and laughs echoing from the Great Hall. Not sharing their joy, Harry searched for the solace offered by the only room in the castle that he identified as the place where everything had started.
The windows at the Astronomy Tower greeted him from their miserable place. Harry approached one of them, mesmerised by the beauty behind the glassless windows, not really noticing the room in the dark shadows, his thoughts spinning around his mind. Did everyone really expect him to be a hero? Would he ever be free to choose how to life his own life? Would the regret he felt ever vanish? Would the ghosts of the ones who had died ever go away? His chest ached under the pressure of too much feeling; he believed that, had he had handed himself over, he would have saved many more lives. His life wasn't worth anyone's pain.
He climbed on the window-sill, supporting himself with his hands on the walls at both sides. He looked down, the height tempting him, the darkness calling his name. He set one foot forwards so it was on the air, loving every second of that freeing sensation. He wondered what would happen to the world if he disappeared, and came to the conclusion that they would be better off without him - he didn't want to be their puppet anymore.
He put his other foot upon the air too.
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Author: Lire lire_casander
Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: R this chapter. NC-17 overall.
Word Count: 1129
Beta: Lovely gurliemoviegeek. Any mistakes left are my own fault.
Disclaimer: I do not own in any form or shape these characters, JK Rowling does. Just playing with them for my own amusement and yours.
Summary: Harry Potter has saved the world, and now the world has left him out. When desperation becomes too much to bear, he finds solace in an unexpected act of salvation committed by an unexpected hero.
Warnings (overall): Angst. Intents of suicide. Dark themes. Fluff. DH-compliant, including epilogue. Takes place between the final chapter and the epilogue.
Warnings of this chapter: Implied suicide attempt.
Author's Note: Written for 100quills's prompt table using prompt 16. Temptation.
His steps led him towards the Gryffindor Common Room, where he knew he would find Hermione and Ginny. His mind was working on an excuse, on the words he would say to worm his way back into Ginny's heart. However, Harry felt like he shouldn't be the one making up excuses. Granted, he hadn't been there when the Death Eaters ruled the school, when the Carrows taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, when Malfoy had terrorised the students. But he had fought, he had travelled with the fear and the responsibility over his shoulders, he had been attacked by a giant snake, he had died and relived, he had rebounded a killing curse. Harry didn't want all the attention he had earned, but he didn't want oblivion either; the memories were nagging at the back of his mind and he couldn't get rid of them. All he needed was some time to get used to the new life he was forced to lead; however, not even Ginny, who claimed to love him, could give him the space he asked for.
He stopped before the Fat Lady, trying to remember the password and feeling like Neville Longbottom in their First Year. He struggled to recall it, but the painting didn't allow him to think. "Harry Potter," said the Fat Lady, “you don't need any password. Get in." Harry stepped into the common room once the portrait granted him access, with the weird sensation of always being given admission due to his popularity and his actions. However, he didn't have much time to think over that fact because Hermione and Ginny were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, and both had turned their heads when they had heard the noise of the portrait opening.
"You've finally had the decency of coming after me," Ginny said bitterly. Hermione just stared at him with a knowing look in her eyes, a look that Harry interpreted as a warning and a threat.
"We need to talk," he said, ignoring the daggers in Ginny's voice. "There are lots of thinks we should discuss."
"I think I'll go check on Ron to prevent him from choking with a too large bite of anything," Hermione announced, standing up and smoothing her shirt. She left the common room through the portrait, allowing Harry and Ginny to have some time alone.
"Ginny, I thought you would understand..."
"It doesn't matter, I forgive you."
Harry was taken aback by her comment, which he wasn't expecting at all. "What?"
"I accept your apologies and I forgive you, Harry. I know you didn't mean what you said, and I know you didn't mean to hurt me."
"That's true, I didn't want to hurt you, but I'm not apologising for what I said!" Harry exclaimed. "What is there to apologise for? The truth doesn't need to be forgiven ."
"You stated that Malfoy was not a Death Eater. You practically thanked him for helping you to vanquish Voldemort!"
Harry looked at her as though she had grown a second head. "I can't believe it, Gin. Why shouldn't I thank him? The war is over, and that's only because I lived long enough to defeat Voldemort. You and your family saved my life more than once in the process; but the Malfoys did as well. I wouldn't be here otherwise."
"Malfoy gave me the diary that nearly cost me my life! Are you going to forgive him for that too?"
Harry realised then that Ginny wouldn't accept any version of Wizarding History that wasn't hers, and that any attempt on his part would be fruitless. He tried to reason with her, nevertheless. "I cannot move on without forgiving some people, Gin. People can change during a war."
"Everything's the same now that the war is over, Harry. I don't understand why you're insisting on changing things with Malfoy."
"Because not everything's the same anymore, Ginny! Because I am not the same! Because there was a war, because there were murders---"
"Don't you dare speak about the people who died for you!" Ginny exclaimed, her eyes on the verge of tears. "My own brother was killed while he fought for you in a war that wasn't supposed to have existed, and you want me to befriend Malfoy?"
Harry didn't answer. His mind wandered back to that last battle, to Fred's smile frozen on his face forever, to George's silence - a silence that had lasted since then - to Remus and Tonks. The pain was too much to bear.
"You freed us, Harry; everyone expects you to act like a hero, to lead us. What would they think if you accepted some murderers as friends?"
Harry stared at Ginny as though it was the first time he saw her, her words sinking in and piercing his soul, the truth lying underneath awaking a part of him that he thought had been forgotten. The memories of the trials he had attended, of the people he had helped to absolve or condemn, threatened to spill through his eyes in rivers of tears.
"Is that all?" he asked. "Is that all?"
She never answered, and he never insisted. Harry turned around and left the common room again through the portrait. Behind him, Ginny was looking at the empty space where he had once stood.
He wandered around the darkening castle, hearing the cheers and laughs echoing from the Great Hall. Not sharing their joy, Harry searched for the solace offered by the only room in the castle that he identified as the place where everything had started.
The windows at the Astronomy Tower greeted him from their miserable place. Harry approached one of them, mesmerised by the beauty behind the glassless windows, not really noticing the room in the dark shadows, his thoughts spinning around his mind. Did everyone really expect him to be a hero? Would he ever be free to choose how to life his own life? Would the regret he felt ever vanish? Would the ghosts of the ones who had died ever go away? His chest ached under the pressure of too much feeling; he believed that, had he had handed himself over, he would have saved many more lives. His life wasn't worth anyone's pain.
He climbed on the window-sill, supporting himself with his hands on the walls at both sides. He looked down, the height tempting him, the darkness calling his name. He set one foot forwards so it was on the air, loving every second of that freeing sensation. He wondered what would happen to the world if he disappeared, and came to the conclusion that they would be better off without him - he didn't want to be their puppet anymore.
He put his other foot upon the air too.
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