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i dont know what to update about anymore... my life seems so...pointless, i feel used and i have no idea why. its got something to do with emily but i cant decide. i mean which side do i choose, do i make myself feel better and make it quit hurting or do i let myself keep hurting and let myself keep getting burned so shell be happy. i dont know i really just dont fucking know.
another thing with choosing side, my brother niquea and jess, this whole thing has gotten to be such a mess that i just dont know which side im on. i dont think i will have sides. i love jess and niquea and diffanately matt. but i think that they all did something wrong, but who am i to say whos fault this all is. i dont blame any of them. i dont know how to deal with everyone at the same time. with all the feelings getting hurt and what not it makes it so much harder.
then my family issues. do i keep the turst my parents have in me or do i take a stand and help out matt. i love matt but i think that he said the wrong thing at the wrong time. i know he wont take shit but he only has one year left with my parents and i still have four. i dont want to break the trust just yet, i dont want to let them in on what i have been doing, i dont want to take a stand and get in trouble like he did. i dont know where to turn someone please help.
sally spent the night last night, she spent the night tonight too. we are gonna head out for a smoke soon. possibly. hopefully.
things with jamie look good. i like him alot, i dont know if it is jsut the sweet things he says going to my head. michael did that to me, im a sucker for people who are sweet, most of them turn out to be ass holes. damn. hopefully he is nice. i havent got a reason not to trust him yet. hopefully i will always have reason to trust him.
i got new earings from icings. they are black and pink, very cheap..(if ya know what i mean) they were a gift, geesh people, what were you thinking.
well im off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz, give me some ruby slippers and take me away please.
love
rachel
another thing with choosing side, my brother niquea and jess, this whole thing has gotten to be such a mess that i just dont know which side im on. i dont think i will have sides. i love jess and niquea and diffanately matt. but i think that they all did something wrong, but who am i to say whos fault this all is. i dont blame any of them. i dont know how to deal with everyone at the same time. with all the feelings getting hurt and what not it makes it so much harder.
then my family issues. do i keep the turst my parents have in me or do i take a stand and help out matt. i love matt but i think that he said the wrong thing at the wrong time. i know he wont take shit but he only has one year left with my parents and i still have four. i dont want to break the trust just yet, i dont want to let them in on what i have been doing, i dont want to take a stand and get in trouble like he did. i dont know where to turn someone please help.
sally spent the night last night, she spent the night tonight too. we are gonna head out for a smoke soon. possibly. hopefully.
things with jamie look good. i like him alot, i dont know if it is jsut the sweet things he says going to my head. michael did that to me, im a sucker for people who are sweet, most of them turn out to be ass holes. damn. hopefully he is nice. i havent got a reason not to trust him yet. hopefully i will always have reason to trust him.
i got new earings from icings. they are black and pink, very cheap..(if ya know what i mean) they were a gift, geesh people, what were you thinking.
well im off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz, give me some ruby slippers and take me away please.
love
rachel