This sucks..
This entry consists of a lot of bitching... you've been warned.
I hate school... I love and hate school. My teachers are for the most part great teachers, minus my philosophy teacher who won't even look me in the eye when I go up to ask her a question, pfft! what a jerk. She's a hard ass and makes it very clear to everyone that she has no intentions of changing. It looks like it's going to be a great class in terms of lectures, but as for personability, 0, nothing, nada. what a jerk. she seems so miserable. Even my math teacher is better than her and I've never had a good math teacher in all my life!
Like I said, the rest of my teachers are pretty good, but it's just so much. I'm trying to manage and not get too overwhelmed with everything. One thing that my sister keeps yelling at me for is my obsession with wether my bills are going to be payed for the month, but I mean really, can you blame me? it's a big deal. I don't want to borrow money from her or my parents. thus far I've done it all on my own. ALL! and maybe it's my pride, stubborness, i don't know.. I just can't. I love where I live, my roommates, I love my bike. i love my life, but I worry so often about when it's going to start to all come down. Negative, huh? Things are just so nice and niceness in my life doesn't last very long.
I find myself conflicted on whether I should do my hw and do you know why? because if I do it i'll have nothing to worry about? I've lived with the worries and the issues for so long that I don't know who I am, or what will take there place if they're not there. isn't that sick?! How American of me is that!? very...
And the whole social-ness stuff... I've made friends. It's cool and fun, but i've realized if i want more, or just friends from other circles I have to put myself out there. Now, you tell me, does what I just wrote sound like the rantings of a person who could possibly do that. No! but I have to anyway or I'll hate myself for it later. ugh! How stupid! i feel like a true terd for all these things, but getting adjusted is a bitch..
I went down to miami last weekend to visit my dad. He just turned eighty and it was both our birthdays. It was a really pleasant surprise. I had a dream earlier on in the week that left me so convicted in seeing him the upcoming weekend. In my dream I knocked on the front door and no ones answered. I let myself in and went to his room, he was on his bed. I walked over to him and I woke him up from a nap he was having and when I did, i'm guess in his sleep, he completely lost his mind. It was so scary. I woke up practically in tears.
From about the month of december up until now my dad has been so amazing. Miraculous, no? He's been open and honest. He confesses his brokeness and hurt feelings to me regularly, while still maintaing the same austere demeanor as can only be expected from my dad. lol. I think I love him now because I want to and less because I have to, which was my experience with him in the past for the most part. So, visiting this weekend was a treat. We spent the day together Sat. Tried to hook up with some peeps to atleast say what's up, but to no avail. I got in to town Fri. around 8pm. and denvil and I hung out that night and sunday monrning until he he had to drop me off on my bus. That was also pretty awesome. He took me to dinner and a movie. TuTu Tango. I had my first Mojito. it was so delicious and well made. Not too strong, just right. The food was amazing. Being a poor college student, it was a special treat to be eating such satisfying food.lol. We walked around the grove and just had a lot of fun.
Wish I could have seen some peoples, but I know it's near impossible these days. I know this is said often, but with spring break coming up I don't see why it wouldn't be possible to plan a party or something at someones house, or just dinner, go bowling or SOMETHING.lol. If it's not than I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles, but I don't see why not ;) My spring break is March 10-18, anybody in, eh? eh?
You know what so wierd with all the old high school peoples... is that we're all so different now. It really does amaze me. lol. I love it, how school, work, and just life will change all of us.. some in different states, cities, countries, etc. Amazing.
Anywho. I'm done.
We talked and laughed and
I hate school... I love and hate school. My teachers are for the most part great teachers, minus my philosophy teacher who won't even look me in the eye when I go up to ask her a question, pfft! what a jerk. She's a hard ass and makes it very clear to everyone that she has no intentions of changing. It looks like it's going to be a great class in terms of lectures, but as for personability, 0, nothing, nada. what a jerk. she seems so miserable. Even my math teacher is better than her and I've never had a good math teacher in all my life!
Like I said, the rest of my teachers are pretty good, but it's just so much. I'm trying to manage and not get too overwhelmed with everything. One thing that my sister keeps yelling at me for is my obsession with wether my bills are going to be payed for the month, but I mean really, can you blame me? it's a big deal. I don't want to borrow money from her or my parents. thus far I've done it all on my own. ALL! and maybe it's my pride, stubborness, i don't know.. I just can't. I love where I live, my roommates, I love my bike. i love my life, but I worry so often about when it's going to start to all come down. Negative, huh? Things are just so nice and niceness in my life doesn't last very long.
I find myself conflicted on whether I should do my hw and do you know why? because if I do it i'll have nothing to worry about? I've lived with the worries and the issues for so long that I don't know who I am, or what will take there place if they're not there. isn't that sick?! How American of me is that!? very...
And the whole social-ness stuff... I've made friends. It's cool and fun, but i've realized if i want more, or just friends from other circles I have to put myself out there. Now, you tell me, does what I just wrote sound like the rantings of a person who could possibly do that. No! but I have to anyway or I'll hate myself for it later. ugh! How stupid! i feel like a true terd for all these things, but getting adjusted is a bitch..
I went down to miami last weekend to visit my dad. He just turned eighty and it was both our birthdays. It was a really pleasant surprise. I had a dream earlier on in the week that left me so convicted in seeing him the upcoming weekend. In my dream I knocked on the front door and no ones answered. I let myself in and went to his room, he was on his bed. I walked over to him and I woke him up from a nap he was having and when I did, i'm guess in his sleep, he completely lost his mind. It was so scary. I woke up practically in tears.
From about the month of december up until now my dad has been so amazing. Miraculous, no? He's been open and honest. He confesses his brokeness and hurt feelings to me regularly, while still maintaing the same austere demeanor as can only be expected from my dad. lol. I think I love him now because I want to and less because I have to, which was my experience with him in the past for the most part. So, visiting this weekend was a treat. We spent the day together Sat. Tried to hook up with some peeps to atleast say what's up, but to no avail. I got in to town Fri. around 8pm. and denvil and I hung out that night and sunday monrning until he he had to drop me off on my bus. That was also pretty awesome. He took me to dinner and a movie. TuTu Tango. I had my first Mojito. it was so delicious and well made. Not too strong, just right. The food was amazing. Being a poor college student, it was a special treat to be eating such satisfying food.lol. We walked around the grove and just had a lot of fun.
Wish I could have seen some peoples, but I know it's near impossible these days. I know this is said often, but with spring break coming up I don't see why it wouldn't be possible to plan a party or something at someones house, or just dinner, go bowling or SOMETHING.lol. If it's not than I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles, but I don't see why not ;) My spring break is March 10-18, anybody in, eh? eh?
You know what so wierd with all the old high school peoples... is that we're all so different now. It really does amaze me. lol. I love it, how school, work, and just life will change all of us.. some in different states, cities, countries, etc. Amazing.
Anywho. I'm done.
We talked and laughed and