Pedazito de pan... algo diferente..
So.
Yesterday was good. I went to homestead chilled with Flora at her job, i miss her like crazy sometimes. I don't for the same reasons other people miss her though, or atleast I assume. I miss her because I think we're both aware of the mind set people take on in homestead and although we participate we don't involve ourselves enough in it to BE it. If that makes any sense. She's like the ad. lib. to the script that is my life in our funny dialogue. We both work, too much prolly. too much shit always going on, but I am grateful for keeping busy and productive.
Hung out with her and her work people. It was nice. They're all really sweet and genuinely good people, from what I picked up on.
Afterward I went and chilled with Tara, she made me two necklaces an awesome phone thingy. They're so beatiful. We talked and laughed. It's funny how when she calls me a smart ass how good it makes me feel.lol. never thought that would be the case with that expression and myself.
I also visited the homefront earlier that day. Those people. crazy as ever.. Thinking I'm showering at flora's house. the things they tell my dad, sadder still the things he believes. He's old chances are my honesty would only hinder.. not heal. I want to tell him I'm living with Denvil and that he's a responsible, honest, hard working man. That he loves me.. but chances are it would leave him "nervous"... cubans really need to do something about this nerve problem.. They're always talking about "mi systema nervioso", they'll kill someone and blame it on nerves... please. kinda cute, but sometimes a pain. Ay, papi. I love him but hate that he can't love me enough hear me out. c'est la vie...no?
I came home and hung out with Denvil. I pray for our situation... we're on dangerous ground... little time and we come home tired, not much to do, but sleep after so many hours of work and the days troubles. Ay, nene. We took the few hours of free time to talk and be with one another, which made me feel better. he made dinner and we chilled. I'm writing this entry at 7:17am, this morning. I woke up with him and made him breakfast, spent the morning together while he got ready for work..
Tan sabroso..
I honestly think it's just me. I just need to adjust to how thin things are getting stretched. Develop a new way of dividing my time. There's just a lot of soul searching I have to do.. a lot of damage that has been done in me and finding ways of dealing with it.. feelings of abandonment, and neglect can develop into resentment. *danger* if I buy into what I'm selling myself.
We've been together for almost a year. w00t!
He's sugar water, that boy... como le quiero.
Flora made an excellent point, i have tons of hormones running through me.. kinda scary, huh?
Birth control can be a monster!! I don't know if it's causing me to be any which way, but hopefully it will go away soon.
That's my life, for now.
<333
Yesterday was good. I went to homestead chilled with Flora at her job, i miss her like crazy sometimes. I don't for the same reasons other people miss her though, or atleast I assume. I miss her because I think we're both aware of the mind set people take on in homestead and although we participate we don't involve ourselves enough in it to BE it. If that makes any sense. She's like the ad. lib. to the script that is my life in our funny dialogue. We both work, too much prolly. too much shit always going on, but I am grateful for keeping busy and productive.
Hung out with her and her work people. It was nice. They're all really sweet and genuinely good people, from what I picked up on.
Afterward I went and chilled with Tara, she made me two necklaces an awesome phone thingy. They're so beatiful. We talked and laughed. It's funny how when she calls me a smart ass how good it makes me feel.lol. never thought that would be the case with that expression and myself.
I also visited the homefront earlier that day. Those people. crazy as ever.. Thinking I'm showering at flora's house. the things they tell my dad, sadder still the things he believes. He's old chances are my honesty would only hinder.. not heal. I want to tell him I'm living with Denvil and that he's a responsible, honest, hard working man. That he loves me.. but chances are it would leave him "nervous"... cubans really need to do something about this nerve problem.. They're always talking about "mi systema nervioso", they'll kill someone and blame it on nerves... please. kinda cute, but sometimes a pain. Ay, papi. I love him but hate that he can't love me enough hear me out. c'est la vie...no?
I came home and hung out with Denvil. I pray for our situation... we're on dangerous ground... little time and we come home tired, not much to do, but sleep after so many hours of work and the days troubles. Ay, nene. We took the few hours of free time to talk and be with one another, which made me feel better. he made dinner and we chilled. I'm writing this entry at 7:17am, this morning. I woke up with him and made him breakfast, spent the morning together while he got ready for work..
Tan sabroso..
I honestly think it's just me. I just need to adjust to how thin things are getting stretched. Develop a new way of dividing my time. There's just a lot of soul searching I have to do.. a lot of damage that has been done in me and finding ways of dealing with it.. feelings of abandonment, and neglect can develop into resentment. *danger* if I buy into what I'm selling myself.
We've been together for almost a year. w00t!
He's sugar water, that boy... como le quiero.
Flora made an excellent point, i have tons of hormones running through me.. kinda scary, huh?
Birth control can be a monster!! I don't know if it's causing me to be any which way, but hopefully it will go away soon.
That's my life, for now.
<333