Wow, this thing here. This is the thing. Massive Life Update
Holy shit.
Well hello there, March 2019, how time has flew!
Um, so yeah. Why am I writing in this dusty old thing of old?
Probably a mix of things: looking back on my life, constant changes in said life... and I mean *extreme* changes, and I am getting tired of chattering nonsense and babbles in my head yet again due to said changes.
WHAT CHANGES
Not too many, but they're very extreme to my usual self. Like after that trip to China, I got pregnant.
LMAO!!!
Yeah, I'm fucking serious. Plus I've been married before said pregnancy, but have not been super vocal about it because I'm introverted to a fault, so only family, handful of immediate relatives, and the very few close friends are aware of this. It was not a big wedding due to insane work hours.
And it's a boy, who is currently 2 years old and I love him to bits, despite his booming loud voice when excited/upset. What is funny is that his birthday is the same birthday as my favorite Sanrio character, Zashikibuta, which I swear to fart was not intentional by any means. Nowhere was I thinking that far ahead during the induced labor. I'm not that hardcore of a Sanrio fan. :P Anyway, lemme tell you this: vaginal childbirth with the amazing epidural was awesome. Doing that shit naturally is goddamned fucked up. My contractions were barely existent to HOLY FUCKITY FCK FUCK IT'S SO PAINFUL THAT I CAN'T SCREAM CRY OR MOVE
So yeah, get that epidural. And time it well or you won't feel the urge to push.
Motherhood so far is what I expected, and doubly frustrating that I don't want to get too into detail or I won't stop ranting and I have been instructed by the doctor that I need to relax better. Typing also helps me clear my head a little bit. Better than nothing, right? Maybe in a future entry I can talk about the pregnant life, which was surprisingly pretty good except a few tiny hiccups like falling down a few days after finding out about the pregnancy XDDD;; or the next to crippling lower back pain, or the surprise induced labor. Each of those can be their own entry, so ugh, I need to think a bit more about those because they're somewhat of a blur, despite me recording certain moments on several journals not here, both on my phone or on hard copy.
The other major change is, well, a bit hard to explain? I guess the best way to put it is my digestive system and overall lifestyle is currently undergoing a fairly big change. Since last year late June, I have been experiencing random bouts of nausea, lightheadedness/wooziness, fear of possibly fainting, and slight tightness in my left arm and chest area. I went to the ER last year 3 times, with little to no ease to this chronic nausea. I tried going to the hospital to find the cause, but they kept not finding anything wrong, and I had to stop at a point due to having difficulty commuting to the hospital several times with motion sickness and leaving my son behind with my sick mother, so all this and some background drama going down was really getting to me up to, shit, even now at times. I grew desperate and resorted to Chinese herbal medicine recommended by my husband's former manager, and it was godsend on several levels: not only was their location closer home, but their medicines actually *worked.* And I can be quite skeptic about herbs, but if it works, keep at it! However, because it is herbs and related to my stomach, the recovery process is super slow, like 1-2+ years slow. And I'm approaching the first year slowly but surely. I still get nausea attacks, but they are much less frequent, but they're turning into gassy pressure in my abdomen and chest area, thus the queasy-ish feeling. I was told that I have late post-partum gas, and lacking sleep and not eating enough resulted in my gas build up and weak constitution. I had to basically give up my old eating habits which is one of the most difficult things to do as a Filipino, but I will to get better. I have to push myself to at least go out for a walk with my son at least once or 3 times a week for light exercise, which is difficult when I have tried, but feel like yakking on the street or have mild light sensitivity after about 20 minutes outdoors. Man, being this weak is so frustrating as a new mom. I honestly didn't know this was a thing. There are more several things for me to watch out for, but this is already gatdamned long. ^_^;
Any good things out of this?
Not that many, no, lol.
But I learned what I can and can't handle. I realized I am way more short-tempered than I thought after having a kid. I need to work on my temper better, because I don't want to end up like my dad or certain siblings. I also still kept up with my art stuff, but more with DIY arts and crafts, which I admittedly used to look down upon, but lately they've been quite decent looking. And I wished I got into crafting much earlier, like 15 years earlier! Oh well, better late than never. My crafts vary but mainly consist of needle felting, repainting cheap holiday decorations, polymer clay, air dry clay, hand sewing felt ornaments, painting blank wooden objects, and sock plushies. I'm looking into paint markers, shrinky dinks, and hopefully returning to my first skill, drawing. Maybe even comic strips again, but who knows.
Music choice-wise, I branched off from only Japanese/South Korean/Chinese to Malaysian, Indonesian, Filipino, stuff from New Zealand thanks to an awesome old friend, Thailand, and still some underground alternative, hip hop, and R&B from South Korea, which is a great change of pace from all that WEE-OOH WEE-OOH sexy Asian pose K-pop. I also opt to more chill music, shoe gazer, or chill hop instrumentals. They're pretty nice, but also short-lived due to my son swiping my phone to watch videos of himself. Yes, he knows he's a cute little ham, lmao.
So those are my main life-changing events. Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh
Any upcoming new ones? There is the upcoming China trip for 3 weeks this year May. I am not looking forward to that because traveling especially overseas is incredibly stressful, and I will be that parent with the loud toddler, how the mighty have fallen. lmao. I will try my darndest to not clobber some POS bystander talking smack about my parenting choices. My cousin and her family are visiting the states the following late month. I have been brainstorming ideas for new crafts and researching for new mediums to use. I also have to start potty training my kid and get him to be more social (extreme stranger danger, even among my family, it's pretty bad). Need to look up some kind of classes for him, as well as possible schools for him while we're still in a relaxed state (and when I'm not gassy).
Yup, that wraps it up. Hopefully I will write more in here, but no guarantees. ^_^;
Well hello there, March 2019, how time has flew!
Um, so yeah. Why am I writing in this dusty old thing of old?
Probably a mix of things: looking back on my life, constant changes in said life... and I mean *extreme* changes, and I am getting tired of chattering nonsense and babbles in my head yet again due to said changes.
WHAT CHANGES
Not too many, but they're very extreme to my usual self. Like after that trip to China, I got pregnant.
LMAO!!!
Yeah, I'm fucking serious. Plus I've been married before said pregnancy, but have not been super vocal about it because I'm introverted to a fault, so only family, handful of immediate relatives, and the very few close friends are aware of this. It was not a big wedding due to insane work hours.
And it's a boy, who is currently 2 years old and I love him to bits, despite his booming loud voice when excited/upset. What is funny is that his birthday is the same birthday as my favorite Sanrio character, Zashikibuta, which I swear to fart was not intentional by any means. Nowhere was I thinking that far ahead during the induced labor. I'm not that hardcore of a Sanrio fan. :P Anyway, lemme tell you this: vaginal childbirth with the amazing epidural was awesome. Doing that shit naturally is goddamned fucked up. My contractions were barely existent to HOLY FUCKITY FCK FUCK IT'S SO PAINFUL THAT I CAN'T SCREAM CRY OR MOVE
So yeah, get that epidural. And time it well or you won't feel the urge to push.
Motherhood so far is what I expected, and doubly frustrating that I don't want to get too into detail or I won't stop ranting and I have been instructed by the doctor that I need to relax better. Typing also helps me clear my head a little bit. Better than nothing, right? Maybe in a future entry I can talk about the pregnant life, which was surprisingly pretty good except a few tiny hiccups like falling down a few days after finding out about the pregnancy XDDD;; or the next to crippling lower back pain, or the surprise induced labor. Each of those can be their own entry, so ugh, I need to think a bit more about those because they're somewhat of a blur, despite me recording certain moments on several journals not here, both on my phone or on hard copy.
The other major change is, well, a bit hard to explain? I guess the best way to put it is my digestive system and overall lifestyle is currently undergoing a fairly big change. Since last year late June, I have been experiencing random bouts of nausea, lightheadedness/wooziness, fear of possibly fainting, and slight tightness in my left arm and chest area. I went to the ER last year 3 times, with little to no ease to this chronic nausea. I tried going to the hospital to find the cause, but they kept not finding anything wrong, and I had to stop at a point due to having difficulty commuting to the hospital several times with motion sickness and leaving my son behind with my sick mother, so all this and some background drama going down was really getting to me up to, shit, even now at times. I grew desperate and resorted to Chinese herbal medicine recommended by my husband's former manager, and it was godsend on several levels: not only was their location closer home, but their medicines actually *worked.* And I can be quite skeptic about herbs, but if it works, keep at it! However, because it is herbs and related to my stomach, the recovery process is super slow, like 1-2+ years slow. And I'm approaching the first year slowly but surely. I still get nausea attacks, but they are much less frequent, but they're turning into gassy pressure in my abdomen and chest area, thus the queasy-ish feeling. I was told that I have late post-partum gas, and lacking sleep and not eating enough resulted in my gas build up and weak constitution. I had to basically give up my old eating habits which is one of the most difficult things to do as a Filipino, but I will to get better. I have to push myself to at least go out for a walk with my son at least once or 3 times a week for light exercise, which is difficult when I have tried, but feel like yakking on the street or have mild light sensitivity after about 20 minutes outdoors. Man, being this weak is so frustrating as a new mom. I honestly didn't know this was a thing. There are more several things for me to watch out for, but this is already gatdamned long. ^_^;
Any good things out of this?
Not that many, no, lol.
But I learned what I can and can't handle. I realized I am way more short-tempered than I thought after having a kid. I need to work on my temper better, because I don't want to end up like my dad or certain siblings. I also still kept up with my art stuff, but more with DIY arts and crafts, which I admittedly used to look down upon, but lately they've been quite decent looking. And I wished I got into crafting much earlier, like 15 years earlier! Oh well, better late than never. My crafts vary but mainly consist of needle felting, repainting cheap holiday decorations, polymer clay, air dry clay, hand sewing felt ornaments, painting blank wooden objects, and sock plushies. I'm looking into paint markers, shrinky dinks, and hopefully returning to my first skill, drawing. Maybe even comic strips again, but who knows.
Music choice-wise, I branched off from only Japanese/South Korean/Chinese to Malaysian, Indonesian, Filipino, stuff from New Zealand thanks to an awesome old friend, Thailand, and still some underground alternative, hip hop, and R&B from South Korea, which is a great change of pace from all that WEE-OOH WEE-OOH sexy Asian pose K-pop. I also opt to more chill music, shoe gazer, or chill hop instrumentals. They're pretty nice, but also short-lived due to my son swiping my phone to watch videos of himself. Yes, he knows he's a cute little ham, lmao.
So those are my main life-changing events. Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh
Any upcoming new ones? There is the upcoming China trip for 3 weeks this year May. I am not looking forward to that because traveling especially overseas is incredibly stressful, and I will be that parent with the loud toddler, how the mighty have fallen. lmao. I will try my darndest to not clobber some POS bystander talking smack about my parenting choices. My cousin and her family are visiting the states the following late month. I have been brainstorming ideas for new crafts and researching for new mediums to use. I also have to start potty training my kid and get him to be more social (extreme stranger danger, even among my family, it's pretty bad). Need to look up some kind of classes for him, as well as possible schools for him while we're still in a relaxed state (and when I'm not gassy).
Yup, that wraps it up. Hopefully I will write more in here, but no guarantees. ^_^;