(no subject)
Carved pumpkins with the baylorsrs last night and assorted members of their extended family. I carved the Impala on mine. It was pretty awesome. I mean, I'm not the greatest pumpkin carver in the world but it turned out pretty okay, if you ask me.
I'll have to figure out how to post from my phone so that ya'll can see the picture I took.
Speaking of SPN-ish things, have been thinking more about this week's ep and have more things to say. And, this time, they're not of the squee-harshing variety at all. Thank goodness.
All hail dotfic and her fantastic brain for talking about unreliable narrators and dissonance in the underlying text. It's so wonderful to see that while I was being all 'hide your eyes' because I have weird squicks, other people were able to look beneath the surface and get to the heart of the matter.
One of the things I thought during the ep was that it was too much like a season one episode and that that doesn't really fit very well with everything that's happened since then. But, when you start looking underneath you realize that the structure may have been more like season one but everything that was going on between Sam and Dean was nothing like it was back then.
[Tangent: Oh, season one, when the boys were so happy and everything was so easy. Yeah, it sucked at the time, but in comparison to everything that's happened since it was friggin' Shangri-La. Oh, boys]
The first few episodes of this season have been from Dean's POV and the distressing thing about that is that neither Dean nor us, the viewers, have any idea whatsoever about what is going on in Sam's head. Sam is putting on the brother facade, he's trying to act in the way he thinks he should while covering up everything that happened to him because of Dean's death. Sam's not okay and what we saw in 'Metamorphosis' only scratched the surface of that.
I think they chose to make 'Yellow Fever' structurally like a s.1 episode in order to show us how much everything has changed. Back in the halcyon days of yore it was Dean who was the freak, the parallel for the 'different' character. [Side note: Yes, I remember 'Blood Lust' but I'd argue that Lenore, even though she was a vampire, was the more normal character in that episode, especially as compared to Gordon.] Now we're seeing Sam portrayed as the one with real problems. They're really playing up the fact that underneath it all it's Sam who is fundamentally not okay. I think an argument could be made about how Sam actually had it harder over the summer, notwithstanding the fact that Dean was the one who was in Hell.
Of course, it's hard to conceptualize Hell and much easier to glimpse at least a part of what Sam must have gone through, especially since 'Mystery Spot.'
Things for the Winchesters are fundamentally different. The fact that their world has been turned on its ear would be hard enough to deal with but they have the added burden of demons and angels perched on their shoulders trying to direct their paths. And now we have a Sam who's also dealing with the fact that an angel of the God he actually believes in doesn't approve of what he's been doing with his devilbaby powers. As if that boy wasn't fucked enough in the head to begin with.
It's not surprising that Dean remembers more about Hell than he's letting on. We already know that Winchesters are kings of denial and Dean has spent years blocking out the more negative aspects of the life he leads. To him this is just one more thing he has to not think about. I don't think it'll come as a shock to anyone when it doesn't end well. And Sam's own denial isn't going to end well either. He's been running scared since Dean sold his soul and his 'Normal Sammy' disguise is getting worn around the edges.
Both brothers are traumatized and trying to act like they're not, both brothers are trying to fill expectations that don't fit them anymore, if they ever did. They're acting at being Sam and Dean and it's all going to blow up in their faces.
And that's what's been digging at my subconscious this entire season, that's what's been keeping me a step removed from everything. The boys are removed, the boys are withdrawn and not who they want to appear to be and we, the fans, can all sense it, whether we know what it is we're intuiting or not.
*picks up tiny pieces of shredded heart from floor* Those boys and the things they do to me. Holy crap. If I make it through this season in one piece it'll be a miracle.
Quick note: Is it true that there are fans out there that are pissed because they called Dean a dick? Oh, fandom, WTF? Obviously Sam was immune because of his devilbaby-ness but even if it's merely because Dean's a dick, well, yeah, Dean can be a dick. Fundamentally he's a pretty swell guy but, let's face it, he doesn't always come off as the big ol' marshmallow that he really is. Once again, Show is playing with the fact that appearances are really deceiving. Because, really, who would've thought that Dean would turn out to be the most normal member of that family.
Man, poor Sam, it so totally sucks to be him. *sighs*
And, see, this is why I should always wait to post ep reactions. Last year I posted a pretty approving reaction of 'Red Sky at Morning' and that turned out to be one of my least favorite eps of the season (though Malleus Malificarum' beats it by a mile). And then this season I post about my weird humor squick first and then come to appreciate it more and more as the days go by. Such is the grand power of meta.
I kind of want to carve another pumpkin today. And maybe go to the fabric store to add some improvements to my witch costume. That old commencement robe is pretty boring, it wouldn't do for the hat to overshadow it by too much. I also have to put the spiderwebs up on my door. And do that practice exam for Taxation.
I guess I should get out of my pyjamas and get moving then. I suppose.
I'll have to figure out how to post from my phone so that ya'll can see the picture I took.
Speaking of SPN-ish things, have been thinking more about this week's ep and have more things to say. And, this time, they're not of the squee-harshing variety at all. Thank goodness.
All hail dotfic and her fantastic brain for talking about unreliable narrators and dissonance in the underlying text. It's so wonderful to see that while I was being all 'hide your eyes' because I have weird squicks, other people were able to look beneath the surface and get to the heart of the matter.
One of the things I thought during the ep was that it was too much like a season one episode and that that doesn't really fit very well with everything that's happened since then. But, when you start looking underneath you realize that the structure may have been more like season one but everything that was going on between Sam and Dean was nothing like it was back then.
[Tangent: Oh, season one, when the boys were so happy and everything was so easy. Yeah, it sucked at the time, but in comparison to everything that's happened since it was friggin' Shangri-La. Oh, boys]
The first few episodes of this season have been from Dean's POV and the distressing thing about that is that neither Dean nor us, the viewers, have any idea whatsoever about what is going on in Sam's head. Sam is putting on the brother facade, he's trying to act in the way he thinks he should while covering up everything that happened to him because of Dean's death. Sam's not okay and what we saw in 'Metamorphosis' only scratched the surface of that.
I think they chose to make 'Yellow Fever' structurally like a s.1 episode in order to show us how much everything has changed. Back in the halcyon days of yore it was Dean who was the freak, the parallel for the 'different' character. [Side note: Yes, I remember 'Blood Lust' but I'd argue that Lenore, even though she was a vampire, was the more normal character in that episode, especially as compared to Gordon.] Now we're seeing Sam portrayed as the one with real problems. They're really playing up the fact that underneath it all it's Sam who is fundamentally not okay. I think an argument could be made about how Sam actually had it harder over the summer, notwithstanding the fact that Dean was the one who was in Hell.
Of course, it's hard to conceptualize Hell and much easier to glimpse at least a part of what Sam must have gone through, especially since 'Mystery Spot.'
Things for the Winchesters are fundamentally different. The fact that their world has been turned on its ear would be hard enough to deal with but they have the added burden of demons and angels perched on their shoulders trying to direct their paths. And now we have a Sam who's also dealing with the fact that an angel of the God he actually believes in doesn't approve of what he's been doing with his devilbaby powers. As if that boy wasn't fucked enough in the head to begin with.
It's not surprising that Dean remembers more about Hell than he's letting on. We already know that Winchesters are kings of denial and Dean has spent years blocking out the more negative aspects of the life he leads. To him this is just one more thing he has to not think about. I don't think it'll come as a shock to anyone when it doesn't end well. And Sam's own denial isn't going to end well either. He's been running scared since Dean sold his soul and his 'Normal Sammy' disguise is getting worn around the edges.
Both brothers are traumatized and trying to act like they're not, both brothers are trying to fill expectations that don't fit them anymore, if they ever did. They're acting at being Sam and Dean and it's all going to blow up in their faces.
And that's what's been digging at my subconscious this entire season, that's what's been keeping me a step removed from everything. The boys are removed, the boys are withdrawn and not who they want to appear to be and we, the fans, can all sense it, whether we know what it is we're intuiting or not.
*picks up tiny pieces of shredded heart from floor* Those boys and the things they do to me. Holy crap. If I make it through this season in one piece it'll be a miracle.
Quick note: Is it true that there are fans out there that are pissed because they called Dean a dick? Oh, fandom, WTF? Obviously Sam was immune because of his devilbaby-ness but even if it's merely because Dean's a dick, well, yeah, Dean can be a dick. Fundamentally he's a pretty swell guy but, let's face it, he doesn't always come off as the big ol' marshmallow that he really is. Once again, Show is playing with the fact that appearances are really deceiving. Because, really, who would've thought that Dean would turn out to be the most normal member of that family.
Man, poor Sam, it so totally sucks to be him. *sighs*
And, see, this is why I should always wait to post ep reactions. Last year I posted a pretty approving reaction of 'Red Sky at Morning' and that turned out to be one of my least favorite eps of the season (though Malleus Malificarum' beats it by a mile). And then this season I post about my weird humor squick first and then come to appreciate it more and more as the days go by. Such is the grand power of meta.
I kind of want to carve another pumpkin today. And maybe go to the fabric store to add some improvements to my witch costume. That old commencement robe is pretty boring, it wouldn't do for the hat to overshadow it by too much. I also have to put the spiderwebs up on my door. And do that practice exam for Taxation.
I guess I should get out of my pyjamas and get moving then. I suppose.