Know Her 12/? (LoVe, Duncan) R
Title: Know Her (12/?)
Author: lipstikstain
Pairing: LoVe, Duncan
Word Count: 4,046
Rating: R for language, but eventually some NC-17 LoVe
Spoilers: Nothing at all - but to be safe all of season 1 and all episodes aired so far in season 2
Summary: Veronica was given the choice - Duncan or Logan?
Disclaimer: Not mine - all Rob's.
A/N: As usual, closing song can be DOWNLOADED HERE or at the end of the chapter.
A/N: Thank you to all of who have been reading/following this story and been graciously giving me feedback - I ABSOLUTELY appreciate it.
She doesn’t really know what just happened. She recalls the yelling, punches being thrown, a broken mirror and now she’s in the kitchen placing a few cubes of ice in a towel to alleviate Duncan’s sore lip and jaw. Making her way back into the living room, she sits next to him on the couch. She carefully presses the cold, stiff cloth on his wound doing her best to avoid his eyes. His fingers encircle her tiny wrist as he studies her distraught face.
“I know you’re really confused right now, but this is how it should be. I’m sure you know that deep inside. We don’t have to worry about anymore interruptions.”
She knows that Duncan is trying to reassure that she’s made the right decision, and she tries her best to stretch the corners of her mouth but this whole evening has been exhausting. This is definitely not what she was expecting to happen.
She thought that she would tell Duncan the developments of the past couple of days: the epiphany that she still loves his best friend and that she can’t marry him. She foolishly assumed that he would be the same old understanding Duncan and concede with her decision - but Veronica doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. In the course of two weeks she has become so emotionally unstable, planning to go left, but turning right instead - going back and forth to hating and wanting Logan.
Duncan lifts her chin to him, but she moves away, physically distancing herself as she moves to stand by his window.
She can’t really see anything but specs of light and a full moon hanging over the city. Veronica feels a sense of déjà vu as she looks out and wonders about Logan’s whereabouts. Maybe she was naïve to think the things she did but the upshot of this evening has been nothing but shocking.
“So how long has Vinnie been following me around?”
Her voice fogs the glass, which she wipes clean with her hand.
“Ever since I found out Logan was in town. I knew that it wasn’t just a coincidence that he was here…you know? But it’s okay Veronica…we can put all of this behind us.”
His voice is doting and almost fatherly - his mind is working overtime to keep her seeing things his way. He walks up behind her, spooning her into his arms and kissing her forehead.
Duncan is certain they’re going to get through this and the best friend he thought he had was nothing more than a manipulative, selfish jerk. He loves Veronica and that should be enough for them to have their fairy tale ending. He has worked too hard and for so long to get another chance at Veronica - screw his history with Logan Echolls.
Veronica allows him only a moment to enjoy her in his arms before pulling away once again.
“I…um, need to go home. Are you going to be okay?” she asks.
“Yeah, but why don’t you just stay here with me?” the desperation in his voice is so palpable that it almost makes Veronica surrender to his request.
“I can’t. So much has happened in the last hour that I need some air and space right now…I’ll see you at the wedding rehearsal.”
He tries to catch her lips as she leans in to kiss him on the cheek but she is too quick as she practically sprints to the door with her messenger bag already slung over her shoulder. Her hand is on the door knob when his words stop her.
“You know…ever since we’ve been together you’ve never spent a whole night with me.”
She looks back at him, his hands hidden in his pockets, eyes screwed to the ground.
“Not once…”
He walks over to her then slips his fingers through hers. She feels the abundant love he has for her, but in return she only feels the space and emptiness between them. She reads his insecurity as it leaks out of his pleading eyes and his hands are holding on to her so tight that she could feel a brief loss of circulation.
The maternal, caring part of her wants to console him but she just wants to go home, forget and just pretend that she didn’t notice his need for her, but she has mastered being consciously ignorant for the past couple of years that another night would not matter.
“I’m sorry. I just need this time for myself right now, but...”
She almost had to shake her hand to escape his tight grip on her and hugs him while murmuring her words into his chest.
“We’re getting married in a couple of days and I’m pretty sure after that you’re going to get sick and tired of seeing this face so enjoy these last moments of freedom.”
He hugs her back in delight. The word “married” isn’t what he wanted from her at the moment, but it affirms him and he gradually untangles his hold on her.
****
From the moment he walked out of Duncan’s apartment from the walk to his car - Logan feels as if he has been walking for miles only to realize that he has been traveling in circles - not really going anywhere.
He wipes the steam of his breath from the glass and looks up at Duncan’s brightly lit bay window - then he sees her. Arms crossed, her hair tied back to reveal her despondent features and eyes fixed on the horizon.
He wonders what she is thinking but feels anger surge through him when he sees Veronica surrender to Duncan’s arms and the whites of his knuckles appear as he braces his griping jealousy on the steering wheel. He rubs his damp eyes and turns on the engine with the intention of driving to the nearest bar.
When Logan arrives at the Lock and Keel he immediately takes the seat in the farthest, darkest corner at the bar. He doesn’t hesitate to order a whole bottle of tequila, downing one shot after another. He rehashes the last 24 hours, unable to connect Veronica’s ability to switch herself on and off with him. She isn’t the kind to let people push her around - he of all people know that, but Duncan’s scare tactic has her running the opposite direction - well any direction that didn’t lead to Logan.
He had meant everything he promised her. He wanted forever - the two story house wrapped in white picket fences and a big yard for their children and a dog to play on. He wanted all of it with her and he still does, the only problem is that she is about to have that life with someone else.
Duncan was only half right. He disappeared from the face of the earth, drowning himself in liquor, fornicating any tall, leggy, woman who threw herself at him, but he never really wanted to be that person, and it was always difficult to look at himself in mirror the morning after. But he always thought of Veronica - he couldn’t help it. Everything in this world seems to be tied to her and he found himself constantly playing six degrees of separation.
Logan wasn’t completely useless in the last six years. What his father had done was unforgivable - killing the first person he ever loved then attempting to take away the love of his life to cover his tracks. He had made good use of the sum of money he had received from his father to buy his apology and built several prosperous beach hotels and bars in Mexico and Australia, dabbled with the New York Stock Exchange - making enough money to support himself that he would not have to keep running to Daddy for cash. If there is anything that minimized father and son interaction, Logan is up for it.
“Hi there.”
Logan’s glaze look follows the voice and sees the attractive brunette, with cleavage up to her neck and skin-tight, mini skirt welcoming herself to sit opposite of him. He doesn’t say anything and goes back to pouring himself a shot of tequila.
“Can I have one?”
He stops midway of gulping down his drink, sighs, then hands her the small glass. She takes it, making sure to graze her red nails over his fingers. She leans her head back, moaning her approval and licking her lips deliciously as if to savor every drop.
“Rough, just the way I like it.”
She smiles at him, the shot glass dangling between her thumb and forefinger but he doesn’t respond to her flirtation and simply takes the glass from her, quickly pouring himself another drink and spilling it in his mouth before she could mooch another drink.
“Oh, you’re the quiet type. Well, my momma always said the quiet ones are the ones you should watch out for ‘cause they can break your heart.”
Examining the liquid contents of the bottle, he laughs at her words.
“I disagree…it’s a sassy, petite, hot blonde with a quick wit who takes chances on everything and everyone but on me - that’s the one who will break your heart.”
“So this is a pity party?”
Her question finally gains her his attention, but she is just a blur to him.
“I was sure the isolated, bleak corner with a nearly empty bottle of hard liquor would have tipped you off. Maybe next time I’ll just hang a “do not disturb” sign around my neck.”
She doesn’t take offense in his sarcasm and he feels her hand on his thigh, her thumb drawing slow circles on his knee.
“Well, I can understand if you just want to sit here feeling bad, but if you want some company…help you forget about your problems…”
Logan doesn’t want this, but he is desperate to feel something other than the void in his chest. He taps the sticky table, contemplating what he should do. He thinks that Veronica would be hurt if he did this, but then he asks himself why he should care. She’s irreparably slashed his soul into a million pieces when she chose Duncan - as far as he’s concerned, she has no right to have an opinion in the matter.
He takes her hand and goes outside to the parking lot. He leads her to his parked car, and she pulls on shirt, his lips crashing on hers. Her legs rubs the back of his legs furiously as they make out against his car but he keeps seeing Veronica’s face and hearing Duncan’s words. He pulls away from her and his hand slams on the hood.
“Dammit! Dammit!”
She lets go of his shirt and watches him come apart.
“You okay?” she asks.
He looks at her, his boyish face highlighted by street lights.
“Look, I’m not thinking of you…I’m thinking of her.”
nhaling her relief, she walks towards him and runs her hand over his chest.
“It’s all right. I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, but I do - just go. Please.”
She walks away without a fight and looks back at him several times in hopes that he would change his mind, but all she sees is the broad shoulders of his back.
Logan pulls out his keys and attempts several times to aim for the key hole but gives up knowing he’s too drunk to drive. He takes out his cell phone, calling the only person he knows he can talk to right now.
“Hey, I’m at the Lock and Keel, can you pick me up? I don’t think I can drive right now…Thanks man.”
When Wallace arrives, he finds Logan sitting on the ground, his back against his car and legs sprawled out in front of him. He doesn’t say anything as he steps out of the car and kneels next to Logan, pocketing his keys and cell phone then wrapping his arm around his neck.
“C’mon man, let’s take you back to your hotel.”
He groans as he feels his body work to carry Logan’s stiff body to drag him all the way to the passenger seat of his car.
They don’t say anything during the drive to the Fairmont Olympic Hotel, or when Wallace assists him back to his room, or when Logan rushes to the bathroom to vomit the bottle of tequila he used to regale the transition from heartache to apathy. Logan’s head is almost fully shoved into the toilet bowl when he hears the faucet running.
“Here…hangover precaution.”
The plastic cup is only inches from his nose and doesn’t second guess Wallace’s demand. When he finishes drinking every last drop of water, he crushes the cup in his hands then aims and misses the garbage.
“I don’t think red is your color.”
Logan looks at Wallace quizzically.
“What are you talking about?”
Wallace hands Logan a wet towel and motions to the smudged lipstick painted around his mouth. He wipes away any trace of the stranger from the bar and covers his eyes with this hand.
Logan begins to outline his eventful evening to Wallace - how Duncan had hired Vinnie to follow Veronica then burned him at the stake by presenting all of Logan’s faults that made him sound so despicable that not even a parasite would want to touch him.
“Then this woman threw herself at me at the bar…”
“What happened?” asks Wallace, sitting himself on the cold, tile floor of the bathroom.
“Nothing. I told her to go.”
Wallace’s brows shoot up in surprise.
“Really? You passed on a sure thing?”
Their eyes connect for the first time that night, and Wallace can’t help but notice his friend's low spirits and he knows that he is almost ready to raise the white flag.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Well, it’s just that you didn’t exactly take a vow of celibacy while you were gallivanting god knows where. You were never alone - ever.”
Logan swallows hard before answering.
“I know, but it’s different now…and Veronica. To use that woman to momentarily forget my problems would just prove Duncan right - and I know he’s not. I’ve changed.”
“Good for you man. Have you given up?”
Logan just shrugs his shoulder, his eyes focusing on a spot on the wall.
“I don’t know. I had her - then lost her. She doesn’t love me, at least not enough to leave Duncan and break this wedding off.”
Wallace shakes his head in disbelief. Logan Echolls had to be the biggest heterosexual, hopeless romantic he’s ever met and yet he could be so clueless about love and women.
“No offense man - but you’re stupid.”
“What makes you say that Dr. Laura?”
“Of course Veronica loves you but that girl has been through so much shit and all she needed to get by was her dad, her friends and you. But Logan you left her behind - you can’t expect her to forgive and forget just because you give the scout’s honor that you’ve changed. Life ain’t like that.”
Now Logan is more confused than ever. Has this just been a mean game to teach him a lesson that will make him feel like a loser in the end - because that’s exactly what it feels like.
“Then….why? Why have you been pulling me on strings these couple of weeks when you knew that I had no chance?” he asks as the tone in his voice sharpens.
“I never thought you didn’t have a chance. I wanted you to go through all this so you can understand her better - so you can handle the situation in a way that she can ease into things and not feel like she’s being punked or anything.”
“Wallace. When I get here I find out I only have 2 weeks to convince the love of my life to ditch my best friend - of course I had to jump in head first!”
Wallace playfully hits him on the arm.
“Man…you tried to see her every chance you got. I saw the way you were looking at her at the party - and I seem to remember a time that both of you were unaccounted for. Mac’s also been updating me. You can’t gain a girl’s trust with a few magic touches.”
“I just thought that, if I kissed her, touched her, and talked to her…she’d remember what it was like with us.”
Licking his lips, Wallace takes a moment to answer. He tries to formulate a suitable reply that will tell him the truth but be gentle enough for someone who has been kicked too many times.
“She did - she remembered all of it. It’s like you opened Pandora’s Box and all this shit came out but immersed in all that crap, there was hope. Look, you’ve done enough and the rest is up to her.”
“But what if she…she marries him?”
“Then sorry. But if you are the man you say you are, you’ll bow out gracefully and let her lead her life.”
****
Veronica hears nothing and feels nothing. What she thought to be a moment of clarity with Logan could have been just a lapse of judgment but everything is fixed now. Duncan is at home, snug in bed thinking of names for their future progenies and Logan…he probably hates her guts right now and a hollowness emerges from her stomach to her chest.
As she prepares for bed, she applies her décolleté crème and notices the hickey - not as noticeable as it was the day before, but still unmistakably there. Duncan had not said a word about it maybe to spare her from anymore guilt or maybe he was too busy screaming at Logan to really notice. This hickey is what lead her to Logan’s door, at first to play the blame game then to apologize and seek what’s been missing in her life.
She lies on her bed, curling into a fetal position as she draws the covers to her neck. She doesn’t understand anything. She cannot comprehend how everyone seems to know what they want from her except her - or when she does know, it turns out that she in fact doesn’t know what she wants. She feels left behind - everyone is working and fighting towards a future they know they want to possess. Duncan hired Vinnie Van Lowe for the sake of having a marital life with her. Logan had been tracing her past with her friends BEHIND her back because he wants is to win her back.
What have I been doing? - she asks herself.
She’s been going with whatever anyone had to say and taking whatever anyone had to offer because she was afraid to take a leap - a chance on anything that wasn’t mundane. She’d become predictable in the worst manner and she only had herself to blame.
Tonight she had been given a choice - Duncan or Logan? It was the ultimate of all ultimatums - the very common fairy tale of a woman bound between what’s right and what’s right for her heart. How cliché - something she never wanted to be and the only thing she is sure about herself. Her thoughts are broken by the loud ringing of her phone and she immediately jumps to pick it up.
“Hello?”
Veronica’s is breathless, as if she had just come back from running a mile.
“Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.”
She sinks back into her bed when she realizes it’s Duncan.
“Yup, safe and tucked in bed. I’m counting sheep as we speak.”
“Alright. Goodnight.”
“Wait Duncan…how can you forgive me for the past couple of days?”
What provoked her to ask this question is beyond her. She didn’t even know that she had asked it until he was answering her.
“I love you Veronica - and that will never change. That’s all I have to know and my reason to forgive and forget. G’night.”
She hears the words over and over again.
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.
Last night when she had shown up at Logan’s door she had nothing prepared, she doesn’t even remember the drive to his hotel. She does however remember resigning to her feelings that at that moment she was ready to take him for everything good and bad. She was willing to reconcile and work on forgiveness because she loves him. But something happened on the way to vindication - Duncan had revived her fears and doubts.
Forgiveness Veronica…she whispers to herself.
She picks up the phone and dials, but there is no answer. The next thing she knows, she is leaping off her bed, grabbing her keys and turning on the engine.
****
Wallace strategically places the garbage next to the bed - close enough that if Logan could feel anything coming up, all he had to do was move his head a couple of inches to the left, open wide and aim.
“You okay man?”
Logan gives him a thumb up while Wallace places a glass of water next to the lamp when they hear a knock on the door.
“You expecting anyone?” asks Wallace.
“Just Karma, but I thought she’d at least wait till I’m more alert to bite my ass.”
When Wallace opens the door, he is surprised to see Veronica, who shares the shocked expression on Wallace’s face.
*Closing Music Starts*
“Hey Wallace, is Logan here?”
When he hears her familiar voice, he rouses himself from his comfortable bed and stumbles next to Wallace. He holds on to the door for leverage, causing it to open wider. He looks at Logan whose eyes are frozen on Veronica and he feels the tension grow with every second of silence and he excuses himself.
“I’ll talk to guys later.”
He hugs and kisses Veronica goodbye and looks at Logan once more before walking to the elevator.
“Hey…I couldn’t sleep. I had the sudden urge to see you.”
“Okay, you’ve seen me. ‘Night.”
He is getting ready to shut the door but she pushes it open.
“Logan please. You have to let me explain -“
But he cuts her off. He’s given her more than enough times to express her feelings, now it was his turn.
“No. If you’re here to clear your conscience - fine. Here’s my official blessing: congratulations. I hope you and Donut, I mean, Duncan, will be happy together. And don’t worry about me - I’m sure I can just pick up where I left off with my queue of bimbos.”
“Stop it.”
“Why? That’s what you think of me right?”
He immediately regrets injuring her with his curt words when he notices the shift in her demeanor and he changes the tone of his voice.
“It’s late. I’m really tired and I just want to sleep.”
Her hand slowly slips from the door and back to her sides.
“I know. I’m sorry but I’ve been doing some thinking and…”
Veronica reaches for his hand but he pulls away causing her to flinch and pause in the middle of her sentence.
“and I wanted to tell you that I love you and tha-“
“Don’t do that. You want something safe - I get it, but don’t come here tell me these things that you know takes a piece of me each time you take it back. I’ve done nothing but try and prove to you that I can be that someone for you and I’m not going to be lead into a thousand different directions, stretching myself to the limit just so you can get over your complex. You’ve made your choice. I’m done.”
She steps a little closer to him but makes sure she is still in the hallway and not the territory of his room.
“But Logan after everything you’ve done…and this evening with Duncan. I just don’t know anything anymore- the only thing I’m sure about right now is that I needed to see you and that I can forgive you.
He is almost shot awake by her boldness.
“This isn’t just about forgiveness Veronica. I get it I screwed up. But this is also about trust…can you give me your trust?”
He waits for her to respond, but nothing comes. He reaches out to cup her face, his thumb stroking her smooth cheek. She leans into him, smiling in relief as the comfort of his touch melts into her.
“Goodnight Veronica.”
He quietly shuts the door and the vision of Veronica disappears.
Closing Music: Michelle Featherstone - Looking For Love
Author: lipstikstain
Pairing: LoVe, Duncan
Word Count: 4,046
Rating: R for language, but eventually some NC-17 LoVe
Spoilers: Nothing at all - but to be safe all of season 1 and all episodes aired so far in season 2
Summary: Veronica was given the choice - Duncan or Logan?
Disclaimer: Not mine - all Rob's.
A/N: As usual, closing song can be DOWNLOADED HERE or at the end of the chapter.
A/N: Thank you to all of who have been reading/following this story and been graciously giving me feedback - I ABSOLUTELY appreciate it.
She doesn’t really know what just happened. She recalls the yelling, punches being thrown, a broken mirror and now she’s in the kitchen placing a few cubes of ice in a towel to alleviate Duncan’s sore lip and jaw. Making her way back into the living room, she sits next to him on the couch. She carefully presses the cold, stiff cloth on his wound doing her best to avoid his eyes. His fingers encircle her tiny wrist as he studies her distraught face.
“I know you’re really confused right now, but this is how it should be. I’m sure you know that deep inside. We don’t have to worry about anymore interruptions.”
She knows that Duncan is trying to reassure that she’s made the right decision, and she tries her best to stretch the corners of her mouth but this whole evening has been exhausting. This is definitely not what she was expecting to happen.
She thought that she would tell Duncan the developments of the past couple of days: the epiphany that she still loves his best friend and that she can’t marry him. She foolishly assumed that he would be the same old understanding Duncan and concede with her decision - but Veronica doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. In the course of two weeks she has become so emotionally unstable, planning to go left, but turning right instead - going back and forth to hating and wanting Logan.
Duncan lifts her chin to him, but she moves away, physically distancing herself as she moves to stand by his window.
She can’t really see anything but specs of light and a full moon hanging over the city. Veronica feels a sense of déjà vu as she looks out and wonders about Logan’s whereabouts. Maybe she was naïve to think the things she did but the upshot of this evening has been nothing but shocking.
“So how long has Vinnie been following me around?”
Her voice fogs the glass, which she wipes clean with her hand.
“Ever since I found out Logan was in town. I knew that it wasn’t just a coincidence that he was here…you know? But it’s okay Veronica…we can put all of this behind us.”
His voice is doting and almost fatherly - his mind is working overtime to keep her seeing things his way. He walks up behind her, spooning her into his arms and kissing her forehead.
Duncan is certain they’re going to get through this and the best friend he thought he had was nothing more than a manipulative, selfish jerk. He loves Veronica and that should be enough for them to have their fairy tale ending. He has worked too hard and for so long to get another chance at Veronica - screw his history with Logan Echolls.
Veronica allows him only a moment to enjoy her in his arms before pulling away once again.
“I…um, need to go home. Are you going to be okay?” she asks.
“Yeah, but why don’t you just stay here with me?” the desperation in his voice is so palpable that it almost makes Veronica surrender to his request.
“I can’t. So much has happened in the last hour that I need some air and space right now…I’ll see you at the wedding rehearsal.”
He tries to catch her lips as she leans in to kiss him on the cheek but she is too quick as she practically sprints to the door with her messenger bag already slung over her shoulder. Her hand is on the door knob when his words stop her.
“You know…ever since we’ve been together you’ve never spent a whole night with me.”
She looks back at him, his hands hidden in his pockets, eyes screwed to the ground.
“Not once…”
He walks over to her then slips his fingers through hers. She feels the abundant love he has for her, but in return she only feels the space and emptiness between them. She reads his insecurity as it leaks out of his pleading eyes and his hands are holding on to her so tight that she could feel a brief loss of circulation.
The maternal, caring part of her wants to console him but she just wants to go home, forget and just pretend that she didn’t notice his need for her, but she has mastered being consciously ignorant for the past couple of years that another night would not matter.
“I’m sorry. I just need this time for myself right now, but...”
She almost had to shake her hand to escape his tight grip on her and hugs him while murmuring her words into his chest.
“We’re getting married in a couple of days and I’m pretty sure after that you’re going to get sick and tired of seeing this face so enjoy these last moments of freedom.”
He hugs her back in delight. The word “married” isn’t what he wanted from her at the moment, but it affirms him and he gradually untangles his hold on her.
****
From the moment he walked out of Duncan’s apartment from the walk to his car - Logan feels as if he has been walking for miles only to realize that he has been traveling in circles - not really going anywhere.
He wipes the steam of his breath from the glass and looks up at Duncan’s brightly lit bay window - then he sees her. Arms crossed, her hair tied back to reveal her despondent features and eyes fixed on the horizon.
He wonders what she is thinking but feels anger surge through him when he sees Veronica surrender to Duncan’s arms and the whites of his knuckles appear as he braces his griping jealousy on the steering wheel. He rubs his damp eyes and turns on the engine with the intention of driving to the nearest bar.
When Logan arrives at the Lock and Keel he immediately takes the seat in the farthest, darkest corner at the bar. He doesn’t hesitate to order a whole bottle of tequila, downing one shot after another. He rehashes the last 24 hours, unable to connect Veronica’s ability to switch herself on and off with him. She isn’t the kind to let people push her around - he of all people know that, but Duncan’s scare tactic has her running the opposite direction - well any direction that didn’t lead to Logan.
He had meant everything he promised her. He wanted forever - the two story house wrapped in white picket fences and a big yard for their children and a dog to play on. He wanted all of it with her and he still does, the only problem is that she is about to have that life with someone else.
Duncan was only half right. He disappeared from the face of the earth, drowning himself in liquor, fornicating any tall, leggy, woman who threw herself at him, but he never really wanted to be that person, and it was always difficult to look at himself in mirror the morning after. But he always thought of Veronica - he couldn’t help it. Everything in this world seems to be tied to her and he found himself constantly playing six degrees of separation.
Logan wasn’t completely useless in the last six years. What his father had done was unforgivable - killing the first person he ever loved then attempting to take away the love of his life to cover his tracks. He had made good use of the sum of money he had received from his father to buy his apology and built several prosperous beach hotels and bars in Mexico and Australia, dabbled with the New York Stock Exchange - making enough money to support himself that he would not have to keep running to Daddy for cash. If there is anything that minimized father and son interaction, Logan is up for it.
“Hi there.”
Logan’s glaze look follows the voice and sees the attractive brunette, with cleavage up to her neck and skin-tight, mini skirt welcoming herself to sit opposite of him. He doesn’t say anything and goes back to pouring himself a shot of tequila.
“Can I have one?”
He stops midway of gulping down his drink, sighs, then hands her the small glass. She takes it, making sure to graze her red nails over his fingers. She leans her head back, moaning her approval and licking her lips deliciously as if to savor every drop.
“Rough, just the way I like it.”
She smiles at him, the shot glass dangling between her thumb and forefinger but he doesn’t respond to her flirtation and simply takes the glass from her, quickly pouring himself another drink and spilling it in his mouth before she could mooch another drink.
“Oh, you’re the quiet type. Well, my momma always said the quiet ones are the ones you should watch out for ‘cause they can break your heart.”
Examining the liquid contents of the bottle, he laughs at her words.
“I disagree…it’s a sassy, petite, hot blonde with a quick wit who takes chances on everything and everyone but on me - that’s the one who will break your heart.”
“So this is a pity party?”
Her question finally gains her his attention, but she is just a blur to him.
“I was sure the isolated, bleak corner with a nearly empty bottle of hard liquor would have tipped you off. Maybe next time I’ll just hang a “do not disturb” sign around my neck.”
She doesn’t take offense in his sarcasm and he feels her hand on his thigh, her thumb drawing slow circles on his knee.
“Well, I can understand if you just want to sit here feeling bad, but if you want some company…help you forget about your problems…”
Logan doesn’t want this, but he is desperate to feel something other than the void in his chest. He taps the sticky table, contemplating what he should do. He thinks that Veronica would be hurt if he did this, but then he asks himself why he should care. She’s irreparably slashed his soul into a million pieces when she chose Duncan - as far as he’s concerned, she has no right to have an opinion in the matter.
He takes her hand and goes outside to the parking lot. He leads her to his parked car, and she pulls on shirt, his lips crashing on hers. Her legs rubs the back of his legs furiously as they make out against his car but he keeps seeing Veronica’s face and hearing Duncan’s words. He pulls away from her and his hand slams on the hood.
“Dammit! Dammit!”
She lets go of his shirt and watches him come apart.
“You okay?” she asks.
He looks at her, his boyish face highlighted by street lights.
“Look, I’m not thinking of you…I’m thinking of her.”
nhaling her relief, she walks towards him and runs her hand over his chest.
“It’s all right. I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, but I do - just go. Please.”
She walks away without a fight and looks back at him several times in hopes that he would change his mind, but all she sees is the broad shoulders of his back.
Logan pulls out his keys and attempts several times to aim for the key hole but gives up knowing he’s too drunk to drive. He takes out his cell phone, calling the only person he knows he can talk to right now.
“Hey, I’m at the Lock and Keel, can you pick me up? I don’t think I can drive right now…Thanks man.”
When Wallace arrives, he finds Logan sitting on the ground, his back against his car and legs sprawled out in front of him. He doesn’t say anything as he steps out of the car and kneels next to Logan, pocketing his keys and cell phone then wrapping his arm around his neck.
“C’mon man, let’s take you back to your hotel.”
He groans as he feels his body work to carry Logan’s stiff body to drag him all the way to the passenger seat of his car.
They don’t say anything during the drive to the Fairmont Olympic Hotel, or when Wallace assists him back to his room, or when Logan rushes to the bathroom to vomit the bottle of tequila he used to regale the transition from heartache to apathy. Logan’s head is almost fully shoved into the toilet bowl when he hears the faucet running.
“Here…hangover precaution.”
The plastic cup is only inches from his nose and doesn’t second guess Wallace’s demand. When he finishes drinking every last drop of water, he crushes the cup in his hands then aims and misses the garbage.
“I don’t think red is your color.”
Logan looks at Wallace quizzically.
“What are you talking about?”
Wallace hands Logan a wet towel and motions to the smudged lipstick painted around his mouth. He wipes away any trace of the stranger from the bar and covers his eyes with this hand.
Logan begins to outline his eventful evening to Wallace - how Duncan had hired Vinnie to follow Veronica then burned him at the stake by presenting all of Logan’s faults that made him sound so despicable that not even a parasite would want to touch him.
“Then this woman threw herself at me at the bar…”
“What happened?” asks Wallace, sitting himself on the cold, tile floor of the bathroom.
“Nothing. I told her to go.”
Wallace’s brows shoot up in surprise.
“Really? You passed on a sure thing?”
Their eyes connect for the first time that night, and Wallace can’t help but notice his friend's low spirits and he knows that he is almost ready to raise the white flag.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Well, it’s just that you didn’t exactly take a vow of celibacy while you were gallivanting god knows where. You were never alone - ever.”
Logan swallows hard before answering.
“I know, but it’s different now…and Veronica. To use that woman to momentarily forget my problems would just prove Duncan right - and I know he’s not. I’ve changed.”
“Good for you man. Have you given up?”
Logan just shrugs his shoulder, his eyes focusing on a spot on the wall.
“I don’t know. I had her - then lost her. She doesn’t love me, at least not enough to leave Duncan and break this wedding off.”
Wallace shakes his head in disbelief. Logan Echolls had to be the biggest heterosexual, hopeless romantic he’s ever met and yet he could be so clueless about love and women.
“No offense man - but you’re stupid.”
“What makes you say that Dr. Laura?”
“Of course Veronica loves you but that girl has been through so much shit and all she needed to get by was her dad, her friends and you. But Logan you left her behind - you can’t expect her to forgive and forget just because you give the scout’s honor that you’ve changed. Life ain’t like that.”
Now Logan is more confused than ever. Has this just been a mean game to teach him a lesson that will make him feel like a loser in the end - because that’s exactly what it feels like.
“Then….why? Why have you been pulling me on strings these couple of weeks when you knew that I had no chance?” he asks as the tone in his voice sharpens.
“I never thought you didn’t have a chance. I wanted you to go through all this so you can understand her better - so you can handle the situation in a way that she can ease into things and not feel like she’s being punked or anything.”
“Wallace. When I get here I find out I only have 2 weeks to convince the love of my life to ditch my best friend - of course I had to jump in head first!”
Wallace playfully hits him on the arm.
“Man…you tried to see her every chance you got. I saw the way you were looking at her at the party - and I seem to remember a time that both of you were unaccounted for. Mac’s also been updating me. You can’t gain a girl’s trust with a few magic touches.”
“I just thought that, if I kissed her, touched her, and talked to her…she’d remember what it was like with us.”
Licking his lips, Wallace takes a moment to answer. He tries to formulate a suitable reply that will tell him the truth but be gentle enough for someone who has been kicked too many times.
“She did - she remembered all of it. It’s like you opened Pandora’s Box and all this shit came out but immersed in all that crap, there was hope. Look, you’ve done enough and the rest is up to her.”
“But what if she…she marries him?”
“Then sorry. But if you are the man you say you are, you’ll bow out gracefully and let her lead her life.”
****
Veronica hears nothing and feels nothing. What she thought to be a moment of clarity with Logan could have been just a lapse of judgment but everything is fixed now. Duncan is at home, snug in bed thinking of names for their future progenies and Logan…he probably hates her guts right now and a hollowness emerges from her stomach to her chest.
As she prepares for bed, she applies her décolleté crème and notices the hickey - not as noticeable as it was the day before, but still unmistakably there. Duncan had not said a word about it maybe to spare her from anymore guilt or maybe he was too busy screaming at Logan to really notice. This hickey is what lead her to Logan’s door, at first to play the blame game then to apologize and seek what’s been missing in her life.
She lies on her bed, curling into a fetal position as she draws the covers to her neck. She doesn’t understand anything. She cannot comprehend how everyone seems to know what they want from her except her - or when she does know, it turns out that she in fact doesn’t know what she wants. She feels left behind - everyone is working and fighting towards a future they know they want to possess. Duncan hired Vinnie Van Lowe for the sake of having a marital life with her. Logan had been tracing her past with her friends BEHIND her back because he wants is to win her back.
What have I been doing? - she asks herself.
She’s been going with whatever anyone had to say and taking whatever anyone had to offer because she was afraid to take a leap - a chance on anything that wasn’t mundane. She’d become predictable in the worst manner and she only had herself to blame.
Tonight she had been given a choice - Duncan or Logan? It was the ultimate of all ultimatums - the very common fairy tale of a woman bound between what’s right and what’s right for her heart. How cliché - something she never wanted to be and the only thing she is sure about herself. Her thoughts are broken by the loud ringing of her phone and she immediately jumps to pick it up.
“Hello?”
Veronica’s is breathless, as if she had just come back from running a mile.
“Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.”
She sinks back into her bed when she realizes it’s Duncan.
“Yup, safe and tucked in bed. I’m counting sheep as we speak.”
“Alright. Goodnight.”
“Wait Duncan…how can you forgive me for the past couple of days?”
What provoked her to ask this question is beyond her. She didn’t even know that she had asked it until he was answering her.
“I love you Veronica - and that will never change. That’s all I have to know and my reason to forgive and forget. G’night.”
She hears the words over and over again.
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.
Last night when she had shown up at Logan’s door she had nothing prepared, she doesn’t even remember the drive to his hotel. She does however remember resigning to her feelings that at that moment she was ready to take him for everything good and bad. She was willing to reconcile and work on forgiveness because she loves him. But something happened on the way to vindication - Duncan had revived her fears and doubts.
Forgiveness Veronica…she whispers to herself.
She picks up the phone and dials, but there is no answer. The next thing she knows, she is leaping off her bed, grabbing her keys and turning on the engine.
****
Wallace strategically places the garbage next to the bed - close enough that if Logan could feel anything coming up, all he had to do was move his head a couple of inches to the left, open wide and aim.
“You okay man?”
Logan gives him a thumb up while Wallace places a glass of water next to the lamp when they hear a knock on the door.
“You expecting anyone?” asks Wallace.
“Just Karma, but I thought she’d at least wait till I’m more alert to bite my ass.”
When Wallace opens the door, he is surprised to see Veronica, who shares the shocked expression on Wallace’s face.
*Closing Music Starts*
“Hey Wallace, is Logan here?”
When he hears her familiar voice, he rouses himself from his comfortable bed and stumbles next to Wallace. He holds on to the door for leverage, causing it to open wider. He looks at Logan whose eyes are frozen on Veronica and he feels the tension grow with every second of silence and he excuses himself.
“I’ll talk to guys later.”
He hugs and kisses Veronica goodbye and looks at Logan once more before walking to the elevator.
“Hey…I couldn’t sleep. I had the sudden urge to see you.”
“Okay, you’ve seen me. ‘Night.”
He is getting ready to shut the door but she pushes it open.
“Logan please. You have to let me explain -“
But he cuts her off. He’s given her more than enough times to express her feelings, now it was his turn.
“No. If you’re here to clear your conscience - fine. Here’s my official blessing: congratulations. I hope you and Donut, I mean, Duncan, will be happy together. And don’t worry about me - I’m sure I can just pick up where I left off with my queue of bimbos.”
“Stop it.”
“Why? That’s what you think of me right?”
He immediately regrets injuring her with his curt words when he notices the shift in her demeanor and he changes the tone of his voice.
“It’s late. I’m really tired and I just want to sleep.”
Her hand slowly slips from the door and back to her sides.
“I know. I’m sorry but I’ve been doing some thinking and…”
Veronica reaches for his hand but he pulls away causing her to flinch and pause in the middle of her sentence.
“and I wanted to tell you that I love you and tha-“
“Don’t do that. You want something safe - I get it, but don’t come here tell me these things that you know takes a piece of me each time you take it back. I’ve done nothing but try and prove to you that I can be that someone for you and I’m not going to be lead into a thousand different directions, stretching myself to the limit just so you can get over your complex. You’ve made your choice. I’m done.”
She steps a little closer to him but makes sure she is still in the hallway and not the territory of his room.
“But Logan after everything you’ve done…and this evening with Duncan. I just don’t know anything anymore- the only thing I’m sure about right now is that I needed to see you and that I can forgive you.
He is almost shot awake by her boldness.
“This isn’t just about forgiveness Veronica. I get it I screwed up. But this is also about trust…can you give me your trust?”
He waits for her to respond, but nothing comes. He reaches out to cup her face, his thumb stroking her smooth cheek. She leans into him, smiling in relief as the comfort of his touch melts into her.
“Goodnight Veronica.”
He quietly shuts the door and the vision of Veronica disappears.
Closing Music: Michelle Featherstone - Looking For Love