In which I have gift-receiving baggage
The age of 27 is coming up in a little over a week. I was telling my roommate several days ago that knowing what you wanted for your birthday was much easier when you were younger. You had a list planned months in advance probably. However, once you are older, it's harder (for me anyway) to tell people what I want.
For starters, once you hit a certain age, your tastes typically become more expensive. The lust for a cool plastic toy, fake jewelry, or a fancy doll (even though some of those are expensive - Baby Born was like 85 bucks when I was younger), you start to want video games, computers, then household items, or your motor fixed. (That's what she said.)
Two: even if, as an adult, you do have a moderately-priced list of things you want, to me it is odd to give someone that list. It's as if you're saying, "Yes, I expect you to give me something." Now obviously, if they ask for it, then there is no weird entitlement moment, but other than that, I'm not sure I would feel comfortable doing it. When you are a child living at home, there is an expectation of cake and presents from parents, aunts and uncles, but once you're an adult, doesn't that expectation have to get tapered down?
There is always an exception of course. If you're in a relationship, then obviously you expect something from your significant other; otherwise I'm sure that would be a matter of contention later on. :)
The third reason is from my own personal baggage. I never received many gifts when I was younger, and a major part of that was from us being quite poor. Because of this, my mindset has always been based on "need". As of right now, in basic survival mode, I have everything I need. There is food, water, shelter, a place to lay my head. There is even abundance because I have Internet, cable, and a plethora of reading materials. So, I'm good.
Lavish materials are very nice, and I do have several lists around the Web of things that I want, but in my head, they will be things that I buy for myself at some point.
I do adore experiences, though. I put that in my birthday party invite description. Friends hanging with friends. It is one of my favorite things. I am sure it stems from me not being able to do that when I was a teenage. I was a caregiver for my sister then. A housekeeper. A depressed kid. I was not able to enjoy the things that most people were able to have back then. No parties, no movie-outings. Just a book and I sitting in a chair at midnight after cleaning the kitchen, trying to escape the non-control I had around me.
Good experiences with others are important to me. Meeting a friend or two for dinner after work, a drink at Hudson's, a quick movie meetup, or having a weekend-outing made of delicious sushi equals the best.
So, if I get a gift for getting older, it is icing and extra cherries on an already very awesome dessert because what I truly want is interacting with the people I care about in one place. My parties sometimes seem to take on a life of their own and create big splashes, but to me, they are some of the simplest and most enjoyable things I can do. Laughing, catching up, reliving old memories, but most importantly, creating new ones.
In the end I realize that that was something I wasn't able to have much of when I was younger, but it was definitely something that I needed.
Blessings come in many different forms.
Remember to love.
For starters, once you hit a certain age, your tastes typically become more expensive. The lust for a cool plastic toy, fake jewelry, or a fancy doll (even though some of those are expensive - Baby Born was like 85 bucks when I was younger), you start to want video games, computers, then household items, or your motor fixed. (That's what she said.)
Two: even if, as an adult, you do have a moderately-priced list of things you want, to me it is odd to give someone that list. It's as if you're saying, "Yes, I expect you to give me something." Now obviously, if they ask for it, then there is no weird entitlement moment, but other than that, I'm not sure I would feel comfortable doing it. When you are a child living at home, there is an expectation of cake and presents from parents, aunts and uncles, but once you're an adult, doesn't that expectation have to get tapered down?
There is always an exception of course. If you're in a relationship, then obviously you expect something from your significant other; otherwise I'm sure that would be a matter of contention later on. :)
The third reason is from my own personal baggage. I never received many gifts when I was younger, and a major part of that was from us being quite poor. Because of this, my mindset has always been based on "need". As of right now, in basic survival mode, I have everything I need. There is food, water, shelter, a place to lay my head. There is even abundance because I have Internet, cable, and a plethora of reading materials. So, I'm good.
Lavish materials are very nice, and I do have several lists around the Web of things that I want, but in my head, they will be things that I buy for myself at some point.
I do adore experiences, though. I put that in my birthday party invite description. Friends hanging with friends. It is one of my favorite things. I am sure it stems from me not being able to do that when I was a teenage. I was a caregiver for my sister then. A housekeeper. A depressed kid. I was not able to enjoy the things that most people were able to have back then. No parties, no movie-outings. Just a book and I sitting in a chair at midnight after cleaning the kitchen, trying to escape the non-control I had around me.
Good experiences with others are important to me. Meeting a friend or two for dinner after work, a drink at Hudson's, a quick movie meetup, or having a weekend-outing made of delicious sushi equals the best.
So, if I get a gift for getting older, it is icing and extra cherries on an already very awesome dessert because what I truly want is interacting with the people I care about in one place. My parties sometimes seem to take on a life of their own and create big splashes, but to me, they are some of the simplest and most enjoyable things I can do. Laughing, catching up, reliving old memories, but most importantly, creating new ones.
In the end I realize that that was something I wasn't able to have much of when I was younger, but it was definitely something that I needed.
Blessings come in many different forms.
Remember to love.