The way guys don't appreciate you.
I am crazy. I feel sick, my heart is racing. So the problem? I hate Daniel. He makes me sick, the why he treats me and how much he lies and backstabs me. I asked for my CDs back last night, and the first thing I think when I read his reply? "I love you so much." Just communicating with him reminds me how much I miss him and how much I appreciate talking to him.. which shows how much I love him. And he's coming over tonight. We are going to hang out, maybe go clubbing. Now you know I'm I'm crazy if I let someone I really love use me the way he is.
I look at myself, and I know I'm a beautiful person. I'm friendly, I'm intelligent, I'm caring. I don't bitch, I don't backstab. I'm generous, I have so much love to give, and I have such a big heart. I really deserve people in my life who are going to care about me, appreciate me, and genuinely want me in their life. Now let me see what Daniel does. He cares when he WANTS to care. Apparently he loves me, yet I haven't heard from him all week, and when I do talk to him he's kind of cold. This has been going on for so long. His split personalities. There's side of him which realises what he's got - because to tell you the truth everyone who knows him couldn't understand how he got a girl like me. Especially after all I go through for him, how I continue to love and support him after all the shit of the past year. He SHOULD know how special I am in his life. Then there's the side which is a chauvanistic bastard. He has a girlfriend, he gets his sex. So what if she's 16? He doesn't need someone like me dragging him down. He spends time with me when he has nothing better to do. I'm just a girlfriend from the past who he's carelessly hurt a lot, and just tells sorry to because he CAN. He puts me through more and more shit because he knows I'll put up with it. Because he knows I care about him.
I'm going to ask him about this tonight actually. Why he keeps changing how much he cares. I'm sure a lot of you out there have gone through this actually. Ever get the feeling guys only care when it's convenient to them, or they want something? My friend Sarah broke up with her boyfriend of two weeks yesterday. Today I asked her why. It was because he was really rude to her all the time. Then when she was with him and voiced her concern, he was so loving and affectionate and sorry. All he did was appreciate her being there. It was as if he cared so much about her. God knows how he'll act tomorrow though. This is called taking for granted. Daniel used to do it to me. Be really rude, and when it got to the point of when I was virtually in tears, and I got angry and left, he was soooo sorry. See, they know what they're doing the whole time. They even say "I know I was being a bit rude.." And I'm always the one who points out that it's because he's confused. Sarah said this about her guy too.. it was coz he didn't know if he wanted to be with her, because he's not over his ex. If they're confused, why lead the girl on? Why drag them around like it's a game? You can't just love-hate-love-hate day after day. It's called FUCKING SOMEONE AROUND.
Guys out there: Be responsible and know what you want before you bring other people's hearts into the situation. Otherwise you'll break them. Like mine. It's been broken twice by the same guy, and I don't even know if it's healed enough this time to be broken a third time. I think it's permanently ripped in half at the moment.
I look at myself, and I know I'm a beautiful person. I'm friendly, I'm intelligent, I'm caring. I don't bitch, I don't backstab. I'm generous, I have so much love to give, and I have such a big heart. I really deserve people in my life who are going to care about me, appreciate me, and genuinely want me in their life. Now let me see what Daniel does. He cares when he WANTS to care. Apparently he loves me, yet I haven't heard from him all week, and when I do talk to him he's kind of cold. This has been going on for so long. His split personalities. There's side of him which realises what he's got - because to tell you the truth everyone who knows him couldn't understand how he got a girl like me. Especially after all I go through for him, how I continue to love and support him after all the shit of the past year. He SHOULD know how special I am in his life. Then there's the side which is a chauvanistic bastard. He has a girlfriend, he gets his sex. So what if she's 16? He doesn't need someone like me dragging him down. He spends time with me when he has nothing better to do. I'm just a girlfriend from the past who he's carelessly hurt a lot, and just tells sorry to because he CAN. He puts me through more and more shit because he knows I'll put up with it. Because he knows I care about him.
I'm going to ask him about this tonight actually. Why he keeps changing how much he cares. I'm sure a lot of you out there have gone through this actually. Ever get the feeling guys only care when it's convenient to them, or they want something? My friend Sarah broke up with her boyfriend of two weeks yesterday. Today I asked her why. It was because he was really rude to her all the time. Then when she was with him and voiced her concern, he was so loving and affectionate and sorry. All he did was appreciate her being there. It was as if he cared so much about her. God knows how he'll act tomorrow though. This is called taking for granted. Daniel used to do it to me. Be really rude, and when it got to the point of when I was virtually in tears, and I got angry and left, he was soooo sorry. See, they know what they're doing the whole time. They even say "I know I was being a bit rude.." And I'm always the one who points out that it's because he's confused. Sarah said this about her guy too.. it was coz he didn't know if he wanted to be with her, because he's not over his ex. If they're confused, why lead the girl on? Why drag them around like it's a game? You can't just love-hate-love-hate day after day. It's called FUCKING SOMEONE AROUND.
Guys out there: Be responsible and know what you want before you bring other people's hearts into the situation. Otherwise you'll break them. Like mine. It's been broken twice by the same guy, and I don't even know if it's healed enough this time to be broken a third time. I think it's permanently ripped in half at the moment.