Crazy shit.
Amira got fired the other day. Yay for that shit. Jen made me realized that I loved to hate her and now I'm gonna miss her. Ha ha ha. Jen came over last night and we chilled a bit, and watched "Shall We Dance" with Jennifer Lopez, Richard Gere, and Susan Sarandon. It was a nice evening, we rung in the SPRINGTIME! Bwa ha ha.
I got my license in the mail yesterday. To hold that card up and look at it and know that I accomplished something means so much to me. I got that sense of satisfaction yesterday and I loved it and savored every moment of it. I've also felt really accomplished lately about my singing. I keep taking what other people had to say about my singing to improve it (the biggest thing was not being afraid to project my voice and BE HEARD) and there's a huge difference and I feel good about myself. And I knew that I had improved when I was singing outloud in the house when my father (who is an accomplished musician in my eyes) complimented my singing, and he couldn't get over how I sounded and I was really happy. That compliment from my father meant the world to me.
So yeah, lately, I'm pretty good. I feel somewhat lonely in terms of love, but at the same time, I want to stay single because I feel like I put so much effort into a relationship and then there's no meaning anymore. And I hate myself for that. There's also the fact that I am an emotional person and I want to give my entire self to someone no matter what, but there's a part of me who wants to make a guy work for my affection now, just to see how serious they are and how sincere they are with their feelings. This is the most confused I've been in my life. In a way, I don't even know what it is I want anymore. I want someone, but then I don't. I want to go out and find someone, but then I want them to find me. I want to give someone all I have, but then I want them to prove themselves to me first. It's really confusing for me.
DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME!?!??!?!!?
This song reminds me of Matt. :O
I got my license in the mail yesterday. To hold that card up and look at it and know that I accomplished something means so much to me. I got that sense of satisfaction yesterday and I loved it and savored every moment of it. I've also felt really accomplished lately about my singing. I keep taking what other people had to say about my singing to improve it (the biggest thing was not being afraid to project my voice and BE HEARD) and there's a huge difference and I feel good about myself. And I knew that I had improved when I was singing outloud in the house when my father (who is an accomplished musician in my eyes) complimented my singing, and he couldn't get over how I sounded and I was really happy. That compliment from my father meant the world to me.
So yeah, lately, I'm pretty good. I feel somewhat lonely in terms of love, but at the same time, I want to stay single because I feel like I put so much effort into a relationship and then there's no meaning anymore. And I hate myself for that. There's also the fact that I am an emotional person and I want to give my entire self to someone no matter what, but there's a part of me who wants to make a guy work for my affection now, just to see how serious they are and how sincere they are with their feelings. This is the most confused I've been in my life. In a way, I don't even know what it is I want anymore. I want someone, but then I don't. I want to go out and find someone, but then I want them to find me. I want to give someone all I have, but then I want them to prove themselves to me first. It's really confusing for me.
DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME!?!??!?!!?
This song reminds me of Matt. :O