Movin' on Up
pshh.....im bored as hell. Nothing to do. So much to say. 2 lazy to type.
Well im over "her" finally. It's kind of wierd. The feeling, that is. To be
close to someone and then realize that they've left you. How strange
and fine to get so near to it, and then plow past. It's okay though. I
even made up with Adrian. And it feels great! Me and adrian were
actually pretty good pals before, then a bunch of shit happened but now
it's all in the past. I've locked away my secrets, my feelings and my fears
and those things which, for the sake of friendships, would mean chaos
in my life, into a box and just kinda jammed it into my closet. I'm so
happy. Happy and wierd. that's really how i feel. Nothing happened today,
nothing much at least. Amber is hot and im going to bang her. alot.
But at the same time maybe i should seriously start looking for a girlfriend.
when you stop moping around after loving someone, something leaves you
and girls can smell it, so they look at you differently, talk to you differently,
even flirt differently. And as a proud yet not-so-happy member of the I-
wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve-foundation, it would probably best if I
aimed toward the girls who actually matter, who have depth, personality,
hell, i really dont even care if they're insane. What do I want. What do you
want, Johnny Boy. Questions, questions, annoying sentences with little ?¿?¿?
marks at the ends of them. Stop thinking that way. there's gotta be someone
out there. Right? there has to be. Why am I so afraid these days. Why does it
seem like the sunset is more of a gateway to a chaotic demon-filled night than
that of a party-hardy beautiful shimmering glow of red and yellow twisted light?
why am i the complete opposite of the stereotyped guy who's afraid of commitment?
why do i feel like i'll never love anyone. this is like the withdrawls of unrequited
love, of moving out, of moving on. and im finally over her, and im happy. But
what the fuck is wrong with me?¿?¿? Somethings still fucking holding me back.
I've also quit cigs by the way. And i feel physically great as well. i love not
having to deal with smelling like cigs in the morning. Had my last two on
sunday night. DAMN that relaxed me. I'll never smoke again though.
Too many effing chemicals. My stomach feels shitty and giddy. I want some
beer and scotch and rum and vodka and burgendy and gin and whiskey.
W00t. Alcohol. gotta love it.
Well im over "her" finally. It's kind of wierd. The feeling, that is. To be
close to someone and then realize that they've left you. How strange
and fine to get so near to it, and then plow past. It's okay though. I
even made up with Adrian. And it feels great! Me and adrian were
actually pretty good pals before, then a bunch of shit happened but now
it's all in the past. I've locked away my secrets, my feelings and my fears
and those things which, for the sake of friendships, would mean chaos
in my life, into a box and just kinda jammed it into my closet. I'm so
happy. Happy and wierd. that's really how i feel. Nothing happened today,
nothing much at least. Amber is hot and im going to bang her. alot.
But at the same time maybe i should seriously start looking for a girlfriend.
when you stop moping around after loving someone, something leaves you
and girls can smell it, so they look at you differently, talk to you differently,
even flirt differently. And as a proud yet not-so-happy member of the I-
wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve-foundation, it would probably best if I
aimed toward the girls who actually matter, who have depth, personality,
hell, i really dont even care if they're insane. What do I want. What do you
want, Johnny Boy. Questions, questions, annoying sentences with little ?¿?¿?
marks at the ends of them. Stop thinking that way. there's gotta be someone
out there. Right? there has to be. Why am I so afraid these days. Why does it
seem like the sunset is more of a gateway to a chaotic demon-filled night than
that of a party-hardy beautiful shimmering glow of red and yellow twisted light?
why am i the complete opposite of the stereotyped guy who's afraid of commitment?
why do i feel like i'll never love anyone. this is like the withdrawls of unrequited
love, of moving out, of moving on. and im finally over her, and im happy. But
what the fuck is wrong with me?¿?¿? Somethings still fucking holding me back.
I've also quit cigs by the way. And i feel physically great as well. i love not
having to deal with smelling like cigs in the morning. Had my last two on
sunday night. DAMN that relaxed me. I'll never smoke again though.
Too many effing chemicals. My stomach feels shitty and giddy. I want some
beer and scotch and rum and vodka and burgendy and gin and whiskey.
W00t. Alcohol. gotta love it.