número seis

[linoleumfetish]

The other day I woke up duct taped to an overturned office chair with no recollection of the previous 24 hours. Pretty good day, as far as I'm concerned

Comments

[1inageneration]

The sparkling vampire epidemic is definitely the worst out of all of them.

2/3 SOB

[1inageneration]

Wait.

[1inageneration]

Why exactly were you taped to a chair again?

1/2 GET OUT

[linoleumfetish]

I hear they can't be staked. The only way to get rid of them is to hold a bonfire, just like you do with all the other arts and crafts projects.

[linoleumfetish]

I did just say no recollection, didn't I? I'm pretty sure that was in there.

1/2

[1inageneration]

Flamethrowers. I've always wanted a flamethrower. It might be the best birthday gift ever. Just a hint.

[1inageneration]

But you're not hurt. Right? Hurt as in, the permanent kind, not just some tape burn on your arms.

1/2

[linoleumfetish]

And so she answers the age old question: how do you top a rocket launcher as a birthday gift?

[linoleumfetish]

Fortunately, my excellently timed amnesia protected me from any permanent mental scarring. Aside from the very manly waxed arms look I'm working, I'm good.

1/2

[1inageneration]

What can I say? Weapons are the new diamond. The more explodey, the better.

[1inageneration]

Waxed-

Okay. So if you ever happen to get your memory back? Never, ever tell me that story. Ever.

1/2

[linoleumfetish]

Which is great because it just so happens that military grade weapons are much easier to procure than diamonds. Such is the state of our world.

[linoleumfetish]

From the tape.