Something Blue...
I am a woman who is steeped in tradition.
It isn't something that I have always been aware of, but over the past year, while planning my wedding with family and friends, I have been suprised and amused at the little 'traditions' that I have found comfort in, or desired to have at my wedding... I often tease people by saying they are going to be experiencing a very 'southern' style wedding... but really, it's the traditions that belonged to my mother and her mother, and aunts and so on that I have found a desire to include as well. One such tradition, of course, is the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue (and a sixpenny in your shoe).
I have something old, in my engagement ring, I am sure I'll have new and borrowed by the day... I wasn't really certain about the something blue....
Today, was my first bridal shower... it was down in Georgia where I grew up, and held by friends who are like family to me with my dear friend up in Michigan (Zanna).
A great day.
When the invitations went out, I asked that one of them be held back so that I could pen a letter to be included. My best friend growing up Erika (1st grade- until we were in college) died in a car wreck in 2001-- we were 28. When Zanna and I were working on the guest list, I decided that I really wanted to at least let Erika's parent's know that I was getting married and invite them. So I wrote a letter and included it with the invitation that Zanna was sending out… and hoped. I’ve not talked with them too much since Erika died, because it was hard to talk and life tended to interfere. When you plan a wedding, though, you remember childhood dreams, and there wasn’t a dream in my childhood that I didn’t share with Erika.
So, letter sent, and I just hoped that at least they would be glad to hear from me. I knew it was possible that it just might be too hard to come and celebrate with us.
As it turned out both of her parents came today, and it was wonderful to see them, and talk with them, share memories and a few tears.... It made the day so much more special that I could have possible imagined, because we all knew that this was something we all assumed Erika would experience too...
At the end of the afternoon, when we'd all talked our fill and everyone was getting ready to go, Erika's mom took my hand and pulled a ring off her own and handed it to me. She said, "we wanted to give you this, so you have something old and something blue for your wedding. She would have like that you had it, and I know you'll take good care of it."
She gave me a ring that I remember being on of Erika's favorites, one she got I think from her parents when we were 16 or so, maybe a bit older, I'm not sure. It still has a mark on it in the metal from when she got it caught in something once, and other unique things that remind me of her and us.
Erika's parents we such major fixtures in my childhood, and we hope to see more of each other over the years, they'd like to meet James next time we're down. They were the first ones to arrive today at the Shower and the last ones to leave, and it helped bring a bit of peace to me and I hope to them too.
So now I have something blue... and it's special and wonderful and breaks my heart just as it fills it back up again with a love and understanding that really defy words.... every time I look down at my hand and the sunlight glints off the blue stone in it's silver setting that was once hers.