what the hell day is it?

[ling324]

september... can't believe it's here.. and so much time has passed. what the hell do i do with myself and all this time? it really feels as though i haven't done a whole lot. routine... it's a bitch i guess. except there's something comforting in the redundancy. it's like i can float through life without complications since my brain and emotions can be left on standby. hhmm.. emotions... there a funny thing. i've must say.. i've grown so much in the past 3 years with everything that's happened. i've lost so much in just those years alone that i can't even believe i'm still able to breathe. i felt my heart stop 4 times in those past years..once in the good way, thrice in the bad way. those aren't very good odds for me. =/ hmm.. and as i get older i start to wonder about my life and what it's going to be like once i leave school and all of this.. another chapter to be written as it gets closer with each keystroke. hopefully my life will be peaceful once i leave the city. as much as i love the city it is emotionally draining at times. (thank god it's not as bad here as NYC). my friends always say, when i have some sort of story for them the most used phrase is, "only you." ha... that IS the phrase to describe me. i'm a walking contradiction at times... and those who truly know me still can't understand me. hm. i'm in no way trying to ask for a dull future, but i do hope for a slower one. the randomness in my life is exhausting... i guess to others it's exciting to hear about.. but to live it can be tiring. ::sighs:: oh what to do what to do? when i try to make things easy for myself.. something just has to come along and throw a god damn monkey wrench into my shit. uuuuuuugggghhhhhh........

ps- love how the little dude is bouncing up and down for "weird" cause i feel weird.. but i sure as hell ain't peppy about it.