(no subject)
Heres a little diary of my past several days since i havent written and a lot has happened.
TUESDAY: all of us girls went to emmerz house and had a little party, it was quite a good time!!! we played some major flippy cup, which just so happens to me one of my new favorite games even tho i usually have some trouble with it. and i ate some awesome, awesome carrot cake bite things that Lo D (stud) had bought. but it was also sad, because that night I had to say goodbye to Dave, and my lil Stefferz and Birdy :( and then around midnite i went and saw my zackerz.
WEDNESDAY: zackers and i went to fox valley to get some school clothes, as usual he spent like a million dollars more than me (he's a bit of a metro if you havent noticed) but i always love walkin around the mall holdin hands with him, and then we went to hooters, and i ate soooooooo much! i got a chicken quesadilla and we got a lotta of TMI wings, my favorite food in the world! and there iced tea is good too! the 1st time i ever went there was with Z back in december and i just felt so weird, but now i love it! their wings really r good! and then we came back to town, went to my house, and watched the wedding date which was not as good as i thought it would be.
THURSDAY: zack took me golfing, yes really 18 hole golfing!!!! i have never ever even been to a driving range, but it was sooooooooo much fun! we went around 10ish and were there until around 4:30!!! but it was sooooo cool! the course was gorgeous and most of the time we didnt see any other golferz thank the lord, because i was awful! but drivin around the course was an awesome time! and we kind of got stuck in a rain storm twice, but it was all good. During one of the rainstorms we went back to the buildin club house place watever it is called and grandma sheila gave us hot dogs, wat a lady!!! and we went thru the lost and found, and got a glove for me cuz my fingers were gettin blisters! my the end of the day i was tired so on the last holes i just sat in the cart and watched zackerz. then we were both absolutely famished! so we went to jardines for the last time b4 he left *tear, and it was incredibly delicious as always (gotta love those chips and salsa!!!!) and then we went to our houses to take showers and then he came over and just hung out.
FRIDAY: around 6 pm, i was hungry, and i didnt know my plans for the night so i decided to make myself a pizza, so i did and i ate every last crumb all by myself! about half hour later, my friend emmerz calls and asks me to go to dinner, so at 8pm i go to r grottos with the girls and have a 2nd dinner, but i couldnt even finish all my hot bites! thats a first, so i had them boxed up! then we went to moes, played a lil flippy cup, i ran away and hid by myself for a couple of hours (this happens a lot after ive been hangin out with gordon) some ppl came to visit me while i was hidin out behind a canoe. i left my hiding spot to say goodbye to kenzie, that was really really hard, she and i have been together since we were 5!!!! and just recently we've gotten close again, so i feel like just when i got her back i had to lose her, it was really awful!! then later i texted some really mean things to zackerz, cuz another side effect of bein with gordon is that i get very moody, so i was really awful to him, because i was sad that i couldnt go visit him at his house.
SATURDAY: i find out just how bad the text messages i sent to zack were, and its pretty rough for like a half hour, but then, he, being his usual incredible self forgives me for bein my usual melodramatic crazy person self, and he comes over around 2ish and we watch a james bond movie (they are actually kind of addicting, i used to make fun of them when he would watch them) and then around like 5ish he went home so i could get ready for our big date. at 7 we went to montes and got steaks, THEY WERE UNREAL!!!! it was soooo good! and then we went to go see the 40 yr old virgin, it was one of the funniest movies i've ever seen in my whole life. but after the movie... well it was just really rough cuz it was like midnite and we both knew that we didnt have much longer to spend together. the car ride from peru was the quietest we have ever been with each and the whole time i was just tryin not to cry because i wanted him to have fun on r last date. when we got back into town we went up to suicide hill, and just looked down at ottawa and just held each other. and then we went to another one of his favorite spots by the river, and just looked out over it, remember everythin, i kinda lost it there, we both did. after that we went to his house and just cuddled until around 3 i figured if i stayed out any longer my parents would get worried. so he drove me home and it just kinda hit me that that was the last night we would be together for a loooooooooooong time! and so when we said goodbye i started gettin really upset again and he called me back to the car and said lindsey i love you, i'll see you tomorrow.
SUNDAY: easily one of the worst days of my life. I couldnt sleep so I got up super early, and waited to go over to zackz house, i went over around 11 and tried to do the whole small talk thing with his brothers and dad and the whole time i was just like tryin really hard not to lose it in front of them. once i got up to zackz room, i tried my hardest not to cry, but i knew it was a losing battle lol. i just lay on his bed hurting more than i ever have before, and he just held me. and then way to soon he had to start loading up the car. his dad called him down and told him they had to get ready to go. so he walked me out to my car. and i HATE saying goodbye to people, and this is the worst goodbye ive ever had to do. i just didnt want to let go, but we said we loved each other and that wed miss each other and then i had to get in my car and drive away. and i just kept lookin at him in my rearview mirror, lol im lucky i didnt hit something! but this was around noon, the rest of the day was sooooooooo bad! i could not eat anything (a really bad sign for me lol) i couldnt sleep and i could not stop crying. i felt like someone had died. i watched the cubs game, it reminded me of him. watched mtv half the songs reminded me of him, i just couldnt stop bein so sad. he called me later that nite and i didnt want to be a downer so i tried my best to b cheerful, but then he whispered that he missed me, and once again... the tears started flowin. i dont think i have ever been this upset in my whole life. and i know every1 thinks im bein stupid but i cant help it, for hte past year we've kinda been inseperable, and we've very rarely ever gone a day without seein each other, let alone without talkin to one another, so it was too hard for me.
TODAY: as soon as i woke up, it hit me again, but i thought today has to be better. then i looked over and saw a pic of the 2 of us... and knowin that im not goin to see him for like 6 weeks, it killed me and i hurt all over again. then i had to go to the frickin dentist for 2 hours and get stabbed in the flippin gums, lol so today didnt start out to well either, and i still didnt have an appetite at lunch. and i just lay around all afternoon. then around 7 i was able to eat with the fam, but the appetite still not back to my normal jawz hunger. and then i went over to emmerz to watch laguna beach. it felt good to get out of the house and c ppl, and i really tried hard to not think about him, but he's still always on my mind. but its only been a day, so its bound to get better... i hope. im just so worried that hes going to fall for some new girl and forget all about me. and i just dont know what i would do???
hopefully once i get my ass to school, i'll feel better cuz i'll have stuff to keep me occupied.
well its gettin late, and hopefully i will be able to sleep 2nite, so
GNITE- linds
TUESDAY: all of us girls went to emmerz house and had a little party, it was quite a good time!!! we played some major flippy cup, which just so happens to me one of my new favorite games even tho i usually have some trouble with it. and i ate some awesome, awesome carrot cake bite things that Lo D (stud) had bought. but it was also sad, because that night I had to say goodbye to Dave, and my lil Stefferz and Birdy :( and then around midnite i went and saw my zackerz.
WEDNESDAY: zackers and i went to fox valley to get some school clothes, as usual he spent like a million dollars more than me (he's a bit of a metro if you havent noticed) but i always love walkin around the mall holdin hands with him, and then we went to hooters, and i ate soooooooo much! i got a chicken quesadilla and we got a lotta of TMI wings, my favorite food in the world! and there iced tea is good too! the 1st time i ever went there was with Z back in december and i just felt so weird, but now i love it! their wings really r good! and then we came back to town, went to my house, and watched the wedding date which was not as good as i thought it would be.
THURSDAY: zack took me golfing, yes really 18 hole golfing!!!! i have never ever even been to a driving range, but it was sooooooooo much fun! we went around 10ish and were there until around 4:30!!! but it was sooooo cool! the course was gorgeous and most of the time we didnt see any other golferz thank the lord, because i was awful! but drivin around the course was an awesome time! and we kind of got stuck in a rain storm twice, but it was all good. During one of the rainstorms we went back to the buildin club house place watever it is called and grandma sheila gave us hot dogs, wat a lady!!! and we went thru the lost and found, and got a glove for me cuz my fingers were gettin blisters! my the end of the day i was tired so on the last holes i just sat in the cart and watched zackerz. then we were both absolutely famished! so we went to jardines for the last time b4 he left *tear, and it was incredibly delicious as always (gotta love those chips and salsa!!!!) and then we went to our houses to take showers and then he came over and just hung out.
FRIDAY: around 6 pm, i was hungry, and i didnt know my plans for the night so i decided to make myself a pizza, so i did and i ate every last crumb all by myself! about half hour later, my friend emmerz calls and asks me to go to dinner, so at 8pm i go to r grottos with the girls and have a 2nd dinner, but i couldnt even finish all my hot bites! thats a first, so i had them boxed up! then we went to moes, played a lil flippy cup, i ran away and hid by myself for a couple of hours (this happens a lot after ive been hangin out with gordon) some ppl came to visit me while i was hidin out behind a canoe. i left my hiding spot to say goodbye to kenzie, that was really really hard, she and i have been together since we were 5!!!! and just recently we've gotten close again, so i feel like just when i got her back i had to lose her, it was really awful!! then later i texted some really mean things to zackerz, cuz another side effect of bein with gordon is that i get very moody, so i was really awful to him, because i was sad that i couldnt go visit him at his house.
SATURDAY: i find out just how bad the text messages i sent to zack were, and its pretty rough for like a half hour, but then, he, being his usual incredible self forgives me for bein my usual melodramatic crazy person self, and he comes over around 2ish and we watch a james bond movie (they are actually kind of addicting, i used to make fun of them when he would watch them) and then around like 5ish he went home so i could get ready for our big date. at 7 we went to montes and got steaks, THEY WERE UNREAL!!!! it was soooo good! and then we went to go see the 40 yr old virgin, it was one of the funniest movies i've ever seen in my whole life. but after the movie... well it was just really rough cuz it was like midnite and we both knew that we didnt have much longer to spend together. the car ride from peru was the quietest we have ever been with each and the whole time i was just tryin not to cry because i wanted him to have fun on r last date. when we got back into town we went up to suicide hill, and just looked down at ottawa and just held each other. and then we went to another one of his favorite spots by the river, and just looked out over it, remember everythin, i kinda lost it there, we both did. after that we went to his house and just cuddled until around 3 i figured if i stayed out any longer my parents would get worried. so he drove me home and it just kinda hit me that that was the last night we would be together for a loooooooooooong time! and so when we said goodbye i started gettin really upset again and he called me back to the car and said lindsey i love you, i'll see you tomorrow.
SUNDAY: easily one of the worst days of my life. I couldnt sleep so I got up super early, and waited to go over to zackz house, i went over around 11 and tried to do the whole small talk thing with his brothers and dad and the whole time i was just like tryin really hard not to lose it in front of them. once i got up to zackz room, i tried my hardest not to cry, but i knew it was a losing battle lol. i just lay on his bed hurting more than i ever have before, and he just held me. and then way to soon he had to start loading up the car. his dad called him down and told him they had to get ready to go. so he walked me out to my car. and i HATE saying goodbye to people, and this is the worst goodbye ive ever had to do. i just didnt want to let go, but we said we loved each other and that wed miss each other and then i had to get in my car and drive away. and i just kept lookin at him in my rearview mirror, lol im lucky i didnt hit something! but this was around noon, the rest of the day was sooooooooo bad! i could not eat anything (a really bad sign for me lol) i couldnt sleep and i could not stop crying. i felt like someone had died. i watched the cubs game, it reminded me of him. watched mtv half the songs reminded me of him, i just couldnt stop bein so sad. he called me later that nite and i didnt want to be a downer so i tried my best to b cheerful, but then he whispered that he missed me, and once again... the tears started flowin. i dont think i have ever been this upset in my whole life. and i know every1 thinks im bein stupid but i cant help it, for hte past year we've kinda been inseperable, and we've very rarely ever gone a day without seein each other, let alone without talkin to one another, so it was too hard for me.
TODAY: as soon as i woke up, it hit me again, but i thought today has to be better. then i looked over and saw a pic of the 2 of us... and knowin that im not goin to see him for like 6 weeks, it killed me and i hurt all over again. then i had to go to the frickin dentist for 2 hours and get stabbed in the flippin gums, lol so today didnt start out to well either, and i still didnt have an appetite at lunch. and i just lay around all afternoon. then around 7 i was able to eat with the fam, but the appetite still not back to my normal jawz hunger. and then i went over to emmerz to watch laguna beach. it felt good to get out of the house and c ppl, and i really tried hard to not think about him, but he's still always on my mind. but its only been a day, so its bound to get better... i hope. im just so worried that hes going to fall for some new girl and forget all about me. and i just dont know what i would do???
hopefully once i get my ass to school, i'll feel better cuz i'll have stuff to keep me occupied.
well its gettin late, and hopefully i will be able to sleep 2nite, so
GNITE- linds