More 2
Title: More (pt 2)
Author: lucyberliner
Word Count: 1071
Summary: Love and smoke rings are in the air
Rating: PGish bordering on M
Disclaimer: None of this is real
Lindsay walked quickly to the corner where she was to meet Samantha. She was a little early; a lifetime habit of fashionable lateness had receded with the agitated apprehension that caused it. She was also counting the minutes to seeing Samantha. Their months of separation had been a difficult but ultimately satisfying journey of self discovery for Lindsay - she had (among other things) rediscovered the charge of excitement their sporadic reunions inspired.
She felt lucky to have a girlfriend who cared about her enough to get straight off an overnight flight and onto the highway to come and see her. She felt pleased with herself for doing everything right these last few months - and for giving Samantha the space she needed and the trust that would bring her back. Lindsay felt, for the first time in a long time, that she had more to offer her love than just neediness and sex.
Sex would always be a part of it, she knew that. She’d spent a while getting ready this morning, wanting to look and smell just the way Samantha liked, hoping for a stolen kiss in a restaurant booth or a furtive cuddle in a darkened cinema. But as much as their sexual intensity had kept them together, it had been her weakness too. Obsession, possession, paranoia, jealousy... Lindsay shuddered to think how she had turned their love into a nightmare for Samantha. She knew she had to put that firmly behind her along with other self destructive habits. She and Samantha had a future as a couple only if they had a future as individuals too, Lindsay reminded herself. If you love someone, let them go. Let them go to their family, go to their friends. Let them go to their work or be on their own. And if they love you, they will come back. If you love someone, let them go, she repeated to herself.
She looked up and saw the rental car Samantha had described. He heart lifted as it pulled up to the kerb. She opened the passenger door and got in, embracing a smiling Samantha.
“Thanks so much for coming” said Lindsay. “You look exhausted”. She added “But, like in a cute way...” and squeezed Samantha’s hand.
Samantha smirked and lit a cigarette. “I didn’t sleep at all last night”, she admitted.
“What about your gig tonight?” asked Lindsay, concerned, “will you be ok to drive back?”.
“I’ll be ok. I can take a power nap in the car before I leave and get a couple of hours sleep at the apartment before my gig”.
Lindsay stared out the window and resolved not to ask Samantha to cancel the gig. She took a Marlboro from the packet on the dash and lit it. She blew a smoke ring that hung in the silence between them and finally said “are we allowed to smoke in this car?”.
Samantha laughed and said “nope”. Lindsay giggled. She said “is there a no kissing policy too?”.
“I dunno, I didn’t really read the fine print” replied Samantha, leaning forward, placing her hand on Lindsay’s cheek and kissing her gently.
Lindsay leaned back smugly and they sat in silence for a while watching the sidewalks fill with people. Shoppers walked right by them and no one gave them a second glance. No starers, no shouters, no photographers, no fans. Lindsay said “do you ever wish we’d met in a different life?”.
After a while Samantha said “This life works for me just fine”. Lindsay turned and saw her eyes were closed. She watched Samantha for a while thinking how beautiful she was in profile. Long lashes, freckled cheeks and her lips and neck looking so kissable.
“What do you want to do today?” Samantha asked, her eyes still closed, half hoping Lindsay would suggest a movie that she could fall asleep in.
“I think we should go to a hotel” Lindsay decided. “You could take a shower and grab a couple of hours sleep, you’ll feel much better driving home”.
Samantha shrugged. “What would you do?”
“I’ve got some scripts to read through. I’ve got my iPad. When you wake up we can get some room service and watch a movie in bed.” Lindsay added “and we could make out”.
Samantha’s eyes opened. “Well that sounds OK”.
“Oh really? Now you’re on board?” giggled Lindsay.
“I soon will be”, said Samantha turning the key in the ignition, “only can we do the making out before all that other stuff?”
“Sure, ok, we don’t have to stick to the agenda” babbled Lindsay as they drove off, feeling slightly high on love and lust and Marlboro Reds.
Samantha turned sharply into the car park of a hotel. “What are you doing!” said Lindsay, aghast.
“What?” asked Samantha, confused.
“It’s a fucking Holiday Inn, we’re not staying here.”
Samantha threw the car anxiously into reverse. “What was I thinking? Fuck!”
Laughing, they found a hotel chain whose sheets they had tangled in many cities.
Lindsay checked them in, standing at the desk and filling out the registration card in large rounded letters. Standing close behind her, Samantha was reminded of the happiness of love notes. While the cashier printed their keys, Lindsay put her hands behind her back and Samantha rubbed her palms softly with her fingertips. Lindsay closed her fingers around Samantha’s and pulled her slightly closer. Samantha imagined reaching her arms around her girlfriend and kissing her neck, but instead she stepped away and breathed in deeply, a ringing sensation in her ears.
Lindsay came over to her, now with the hotel keys in her hand. “Are you ok?” she asked.
“Never better” smiled Samantha.
Lindsay gave her a room key and said “Why don’t you head on up and I’ll park the car properly and be with you in a minute”.
Samantha nodded and Lindsay made her way to the car. She parked it carefully in the allocated space and sat for a moment holding Samantha’s hoody in her lap, thinking “she loves me”.
Lindsay knew Samantha loved and her and was determined that love was enough. Samantha had her own life, she loved her family, she loved her work and she deserved to have it all. She deserves more than just a shitty life full of Lohan drama, Lindsay thought. And so do I. “I want more” she said out loud. “I want us to be more”.
Author: lucyberliner
Word Count: 1071
Summary: Love and smoke rings are in the air
Rating: PGish bordering on M
Disclaimer: None of this is real
Lindsay walked quickly to the corner where she was to meet Samantha. She was a little early; a lifetime habit of fashionable lateness had receded with the agitated apprehension that caused it. She was also counting the minutes to seeing Samantha. Their months of separation had been a difficult but ultimately satisfying journey of self discovery for Lindsay - she had (among other things) rediscovered the charge of excitement their sporadic reunions inspired.
She felt lucky to have a girlfriend who cared about her enough to get straight off an overnight flight and onto the highway to come and see her. She felt pleased with herself for doing everything right these last few months - and for giving Samantha the space she needed and the trust that would bring her back. Lindsay felt, for the first time in a long time, that she had more to offer her love than just neediness and sex.
Sex would always be a part of it, she knew that. She’d spent a while getting ready this morning, wanting to look and smell just the way Samantha liked, hoping for a stolen kiss in a restaurant booth or a furtive cuddle in a darkened cinema. But as much as their sexual intensity had kept them together, it had been her weakness too. Obsession, possession, paranoia, jealousy... Lindsay shuddered to think how she had turned their love into a nightmare for Samantha. She knew she had to put that firmly behind her along with other self destructive habits. She and Samantha had a future as a couple only if they had a future as individuals too, Lindsay reminded herself. If you love someone, let them go. Let them go to their family, go to their friends. Let them go to their work or be on their own. And if they love you, they will come back. If you love someone, let them go, she repeated to herself.
She looked up and saw the rental car Samantha had described. He heart lifted as it pulled up to the kerb. She opened the passenger door and got in, embracing a smiling Samantha.
“Thanks so much for coming” said Lindsay. “You look exhausted”. She added “But, like in a cute way...” and squeezed Samantha’s hand.
Samantha smirked and lit a cigarette. “I didn’t sleep at all last night”, she admitted.
“What about your gig tonight?” asked Lindsay, concerned, “will you be ok to drive back?”.
“I’ll be ok. I can take a power nap in the car before I leave and get a couple of hours sleep at the apartment before my gig”.
Lindsay stared out the window and resolved not to ask Samantha to cancel the gig. She took a Marlboro from the packet on the dash and lit it. She blew a smoke ring that hung in the silence between them and finally said “are we allowed to smoke in this car?”.
Samantha laughed and said “nope”. Lindsay giggled. She said “is there a no kissing policy too?”.
“I dunno, I didn’t really read the fine print” replied Samantha, leaning forward, placing her hand on Lindsay’s cheek and kissing her gently.
Lindsay leaned back smugly and they sat in silence for a while watching the sidewalks fill with people. Shoppers walked right by them and no one gave them a second glance. No starers, no shouters, no photographers, no fans. Lindsay said “do you ever wish we’d met in a different life?”.
After a while Samantha said “This life works for me just fine”. Lindsay turned and saw her eyes were closed. She watched Samantha for a while thinking how beautiful she was in profile. Long lashes, freckled cheeks and her lips and neck looking so kissable.
“What do you want to do today?” Samantha asked, her eyes still closed, half hoping Lindsay would suggest a movie that she could fall asleep in.
“I think we should go to a hotel” Lindsay decided. “You could take a shower and grab a couple of hours sleep, you’ll feel much better driving home”.
Samantha shrugged. “What would you do?”
“I’ve got some scripts to read through. I’ve got my iPad. When you wake up we can get some room service and watch a movie in bed.” Lindsay added “and we could make out”.
Samantha’s eyes opened. “Well that sounds OK”.
“Oh really? Now you’re on board?” giggled Lindsay.
“I soon will be”, said Samantha turning the key in the ignition, “only can we do the making out before all that other stuff?”
“Sure, ok, we don’t have to stick to the agenda” babbled Lindsay as they drove off, feeling slightly high on love and lust and Marlboro Reds.
Samantha turned sharply into the car park of a hotel. “What are you doing!” said Lindsay, aghast.
“What?” asked Samantha, confused.
“It’s a fucking Holiday Inn, we’re not staying here.”
Samantha threw the car anxiously into reverse. “What was I thinking? Fuck!”
Laughing, they found a hotel chain whose sheets they had tangled in many cities.
Lindsay checked them in, standing at the desk and filling out the registration card in large rounded letters. Standing close behind her, Samantha was reminded of the happiness of love notes. While the cashier printed their keys, Lindsay put her hands behind her back and Samantha rubbed her palms softly with her fingertips. Lindsay closed her fingers around Samantha’s and pulled her slightly closer. Samantha imagined reaching her arms around her girlfriend and kissing her neck, but instead she stepped away and breathed in deeply, a ringing sensation in her ears.
Lindsay came over to her, now with the hotel keys in her hand. “Are you ok?” she asked.
“Never better” smiled Samantha.
Lindsay gave her a room key and said “Why don’t you head on up and I’ll park the car properly and be with you in a minute”.
Samantha nodded and Lindsay made her way to the car. She parked it carefully in the allocated space and sat for a moment holding Samantha’s hoody in her lap, thinking “she loves me”.
Lindsay knew Samantha loved and her and was determined that love was enough. Samantha had her own life, she loved her family, she loved her work and she deserved to have it all. She deserves more than just a shitty life full of Lohan drama, Lindsay thought. And so do I. “I want more” she said out loud. “I want us to be more”.