Friday Night Lights - "If This One Could Be With You", Tim/Julie, R
Title: If This One Could Be With You - Chapter 5/10
Author: lindentree
Rating: R (for the series; this part is just PG)
Character(s): Tim/Julie
Word Count: 3,853
Summary: After 2x11, "Jumping the Gun", Julie's parents come up with an appropriate punishment for her - tutoring Tim Riggins.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
It was Friday night in Dillon, which meant one thing: football.
The Panthers were playing a home game against the Thompson Wildcats. The teams were very evenly matched, and at the start of the fourth quarter, the score was tied.
Julie stood in her usual spot in the stands, her mother on one side of her and Tyra on the other. Billy was standing on the other side of Tyra, watching his brother intensely.
“Tim’s sure having a good game,” Tami called down to Billy during a brief break in play, right after Tim made a spectacular hit on the Wildcats offense.
“Yeah,” Billy agreed. Julie could see the pride and anxiety in his eyes. “He’s been working real hard, getting serious.”
“He’s doing real well, right Julie?” her mother prompted.
“Yeah,” Julie replied, awkwardly. “He’s doing great.”
She glanced at Billy, who was giving her a knowing look. She blushed. In between them, Tyra rolled her eyes and elbowed Billy hard in the ribs.
“Ow!” he exclaimed, glaring at Tyra.
“What’s that?” Tami asked, not taking her eyes from the field.
“Nothing,” Billy said, returning his attention to the game.
Julie turned back to the game too, hoping her mother hadn’t seen the look she got from Billy.
They watched as Matt made a pass to Smash, who ran down the field only to be blocked unexpectedly by the Thompson defence. As one of the opposing players moved to tackle him, he threw the ball to Tim, who caught it and, dodging a few opponents of his own, made for the end zone.
The entire town of Dillon was on its feet as Tim leaped over a Thompson player and crashed triumphantly to the turf.
Julie threw her arms in the air, screaming herself hoarse as the Dillon side erupted in cheers and the clock hit zero. Julie watched as Tim rolled to his feet, throwing the ball down and smacking into his teammates for a raucous group hug. He removed his helmet, and even from up in the bleachers, Julie could see the joy all over his face. Something in her chest squeezed as she looked at him. Her eyes stung and she felt like she could burst with pride and happiness. She felt like crying and laughing all at once.
That sinking feeling of realisation returned, leaving her stomach cold. In that very instant, she knew she was in love with Tim Riggins.
How could she be so stupid?
Within seconds, everyone was out on the field celebrating with the team. Tami disappeared to find her husband, and Julie was left alone as Tyra and Billy left to find their respective loved ones, too. Glancing around at the jubilant crowd, Julie caught sight of Matt opening his arms to Carlotta, while his grandma stood by, beaming.
Julie watched as Matt and Carlotta embraced; she could see the closeness between them. Clutching her arms protectively against her chest, Julie tried not to feel sad and jealous and heartbroken, but the tears welled up anyway. She also couldn’t help but feel that this was it. There was nothing more she could do; Matt had moved on. Alone in a field full of people, Julie took a deep breath and exhaled, doing her best to just let it go. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Hey Jules,” came a deep voice from behind her.
Julie turned around and found a sweaty, gleeful Tim standing there in his dirty uniform, holding his helmet and grinning at her. She couldn’t help but grin back.
“Hey Tim,” she said, “Great game. You were amazing.”
“Thanks,” he said, pleased. He looked at her closely, his smile turning to a frown. Julie glanced over her shoulder at Matt and Carlotta, then back at Tim, who followed her line of sight. Comprehension dawned on Tim’s face.
“Come on,” he said, resting his hand against her back and walking in the opposite direction from Matt and Carlotta. “Victory party at my house. Let’s see if we can’t get you paroled for one night.”
***
By some miracle, Julie’s parents agreed to Tim’s polite and very sincere request that Julie be allowed to go back to his place for a party, on the condition that Julie be ready and waiting outside at midnight to be picked up. Julie could only hypothesize that the victory had gone to her father’s head.
Deciding not to push her luck, she refused all the drinks offered to her at Tim’s place. Unfortunately, she was apparently the only one, for the house was packed with drunken football players, cheerleaders, rally girls, and students. As such, the party was turning out to be more obnoxious than fun. Tim had spent most of the evening by his empty pool, holding court with the other Panthers.
Julie had managed to avoid Matt so far, but when she came across Riley the Creep chatting up an extremely intoxicated freshman rally girl, she seriously considered calling her mother to come early. Thankfully, at that moment, she spotted Tyra heading out to the backyard.
Catching up with her friend on the patio, Julie pulled her aside so they could talk.
“Hey,” Tyra said, surprised. “Didn’t expect to see you here. Aren’t you grounded?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Julie replied. “But Tim talked my parents into letting me out to celebrate.”
“Really?” Tyra asked, nonplussed.
“I know, it’s weird.”
“Yeah, it is weird. So where have you been lately? I know you’ve been grounded, but I feel like I haven’t seen you at all except at work.”
“Oh, you know,” Julie said breezily, “I guess I’ve been pretty busy with tutoring Tim and all that.”
“Right,” Tyra replied, shaking her head in disbelief.
“What?”
“I’ve known Tim a pretty long time, and I guess I just find it hard to believe that you two spend that much time studying.”
“Yeah, you and everyone else in the world seem to think that. For your information, he’s working hard and doing really well.”
“All right, don’t get all defensive.”
“Sorry,” Julie said, looking down at her feet. “It’s just - everyone keeps saying stuff like that to me, and it’s frustrating because we’re just friends, we’re really just friends, and no one believes that, and I’m like, okay, I know this is Tim Riggins and he has this reputation, and he’s hot and charming and funny and weirdly sweet sometimes and everything, but -“
“I’m sorry,” Tyra said, blinking rapidly, “Did you just say ‘weirdly sweet’?”
“Uh, yes,” Julie replied, apprehensive.
Tyra stared at her for a moment before speaking again.
“Oh my god. You like him.”
“No I don’t!” Julie protested.
“You totally do. You’re blushing right now. Oh my god.” Mouth agape, Tyra grabbed Julie by the arm and steered her to a secluded spot, away from the other party-goers.
“Spill the whole story right now, and don’t even bother lying,” Tyra demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Wh-what?” Julie stammered. “Wait, are you mad at me because I like Tim?”
“What? No, I don’t give a crap about that jackass, it’s you I’m worried about. I think you might need a shrink or an exorcism or something.”
“Ugh, Tyra. It’s horrible,” Julie said, burying her face in her hands and groaning.
“I know it is, honey,” Tyra soothed. “Just spill.”
“I don’t know. I only just figured it out tonight. I mean, I think I started sort of having these feelings when he almost got suspended for fighting and I went over to his house to see him and he was all beaten up and he told me about what happened, and I sort of wanted to like, make it better or something.”
“Go on.”
“We’ve been getting to be pretty good friends, I guess, hanging out and stuff. Then tonight I watched him score that winning touchdown, and he was so happy, and I was just so proud of him that I could burst, you know?”
Tyra nodded, her mouth in a taut line.
“And I’ve had a couple of dreams about him,” Julie said, looking away. “Um, sexy dreams.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t think there’s anything to do,” Julie admitted. “We’re friends, but I think he thinks of me as, like, a friend or a sister or something, you know? Plus my parents would go crazy.”
Tyra nodded, mulling it over. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do, but I will tell you this: Tim can be really vulnerable and sweet when he wants to be, but in the end, he’s selfish, and he’ll choose himself over you any day of the week. Which means that if you two are dating and there’s a cute new rally girl around, he’s not even going to hesitate before sleeping with her. Are you prepared for that?”
“No,” Julie replied, her heart sinking. “No, I’m not.”
Tyra smiled sadly. “Sorry, Jules. I understand completely, believe me, but I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Don’t waste yourself on him.”
“You’re right,” Julie said, sighing.
“Speak of the devil,” Tyra said, glaring pointedly towards the pool. Tim and one of the rally girls were doing body shots while the team cheered them on.
“Oh my god,” Julie moaned. “I have actually lost my mind.”
“Come on,” Tyra said, gently leading Julie by the arm. “I’ll drive you home. This party’s lame anyway.”
***
At ten minutes to midnight, an extremely drunk Tim began searching for Julie. He wanted to make sure she was outside on time, in the hopes that he could impress upon the Taylors that he wasn’t a total irresponsible dumbass.
He couldn’t find her anywhere. She wasn’t by the pool or the living room. Somewhat alarmed, Tim checked the bedrooms, the bathroom, and the garage, and although he found plenty of couples making use of those spaces, he was both relieved and confused to find that Julie was not a part of any of them.
Tim started asking around for her and found nothing until he asked some JV Panther whose name he didn’t know if he’d seen Julie Taylor.
“Sure, man. She left with Tyra Collette like half an hour ago. Damn,” he slurred, “There’s a sandwich I wouldn’t mind being the meat for, or whatever, if you know what I’m saying.”
“Shut up,” Tim muttered, turning away in confusion.
“Hey Tim,” came a bright voice. It was Katie Miller, one of the rally girls. Katie was cute and had long blond hair. Tim smiled, reaching out and tugging gently on the ends of her hair. Long, shiny blond hair.
“Hey Katie,” he said, drunkenly grinning what he hoped was an enticing grin. Apparently it was, because Katie smiled back and moved in closer.
“We’re all really proud of you, Tim,” she said.
“Thanks,” he replied, swaying slightly on his feet.
“All the rally girls thought we ought to give you something special, since you made such a great effort.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” she smiled, lacing her fingers with his. “Come on.”
Grabbing another beer, Tim followed her into his bedroom.
***
Julie was on her way to her history class on Monday morning when she was blindsided by Tyra and manhandled into an empty classroom.
“Good morning to you, too,” she said.
“Sorry,” Tyra replied. “I just wanted to get to you before anyone else did.”
“What?”
“I figured you might as well hear it from me instead of some gross jock.”
“Hear what?” Julie asked, worried.
“Tim slept with one of the rally girls on Friday night.”
Julie stared at her friend. “Which one?”
“Katie Miller, not that it matters,” Tyra replied.
“Oh,” Julie said, leaning against one of the desks. “Well, whatever. It’s not like we’re dating, right?”
“Right,” Tyra agreed, watching her closely.
Julie stood looking at her friend for a minute, trying to be rational about this. They weren’t dating; Tim was just her friend. She and Tyra had gone over all the reasons why dating Tim would be a terrible idea in the car on Friday night. It was never going to happen, so this didn’t matter. This definitely did not matter.
“Tyra?”
“Yeah?”
“It hurts,” Julie whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
“I know it does,” Tyra said, gathering her friend tightly into a hug.
They left the classroom when Julie got her tears under control. She felt like a world-class idiot, and was extremely thankful that she had a long shift at Applebee’s that night, because it meant that there would be no tutoring, and no Tim.
***
Tutoring could not be avoided forever, especially with mid-terms on the horizon. Tuesday found Julie and Tim seated in their usual spots at the Taylors' kitchen table, books open and pens out.
Julie was paying very careful attention to her chemistry homework, studiously ignoring the uncomfortably long stares Tim was sending her way.
"What's your problem?" she said finally, raising her eyes from her work to look at him.
"I don't have a problem," he replied. "What's your problem?"
"Nothing," she shrugged, her voice belying her irritation.
"If you say so,” Tim replied, looking back down at his own work.
There was a pause where Julie glared at his bowed head. Suddenly, she found herself speaking again.
“Everyone’s saying that you slept with Katie Miller on Friday night. Is that true?”
Tim frowned at the table. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Just curious,” Julie replied, trying to steady her voice, aiming for nonchalant.
"Didn't think you went in for gossip," Tim commented.
"I don't," she said, shrugging. "I was just wondering what fun stuff you got up to this weekend."
Tim gave her a searching look before answering.
"Yeah, I slept with her."
"Oh," Julie replied. She hadn't really expected a truthful response.
"Yeah," he said, clearing his throat and looking down at his work.
Silence fell on the table once more, and Julie turned her eyes back down to her work. She willed herself not to get upset about this; after all, this was just another reason why she and Tim were better as friends than anything else.
"How come you took off so early?" Tim asked suddenly, disturbing her thoughts. "I thought your curfew was midnight."
"I ran into Tyra and she offered me a ride," Julie replied. "I wasn't having much fun, anyway."
"You weren't?"
"No," Julie said, starting to feel aggravated. "No, Tim, it's not a lot of fun to stand around watching a bunch of jocks and rally girls do body shots off each other while everyone else takes bets on who’s the most likely to get pregnant tonight. It's just not really my idea of a good time."
"Oh, okay," he replied, looking irritated. "Next time I'll mind my own business and you can spend Friday night at home, with your parents and a bowl of popcorn."
"That would be great," Julie gritted, flipping a page in her textbook. She wasn’t sure whether she was angry because of the Katie thing, or because he had left her alone at the party, or because he wasn’t apologising for either.
"Fine," Tim said.
"Wonderful."
Silence fell again, and they didn't talk for the rest of the afternoon.
***
Two days later, Tim found Julie at her locker between classes to explain that he had a long practice that afternoon and would be late coming over.
"Whatever," Julie replied, her face blank.
Tim frowned down at her and lowered his voice.
"What's your problem, Taylor?"
Julie was about to answer when they were interrupted by Katie Miller walking by with several of the other rally girls.
"Hey Tim," she called, giving him a wave and a knowing smirk.
"Hey Katie," Tim replied, giving her a little nod.
"Unbelievable," Julie muttered, slamming her locker door shut.
Tim turned at the sound to look at her quizzically. A smirk slowly spread across his face.
"You're jealous," he said smugly.
Julie's face coloured with embarrassment and offence.
"It's insulting that you would even suggest that," she bit out. She didn't wait to hear his response; she turned and walked away.
***
After spending her shift watching Matt and Carlotta make googly eyes at each other and listening to a table full of rally girls gossip about Tim and Katie, Julie was ready to either cry or hit someone.
The clincher came when she checked her voicemail at the end of her shift and found a message from her mother saying that she wouldn’t be able to pick Julie up, so could she please get Tyra to give her a ride home. The only problem was that Tyra had switched her shifts at the last minute, and hadn’t been in that night.
Julie sat on the curb outside the restaurant, the parking lot empty and the restaurant dark. She had called her mother back, then called her father, then called Tyra three times. All she’d gotten were people’s voicemails.
Feeling pathetic and abandoned, Julie stared at the cell phone in her hand and sniffled as she began to cry. She hated feeling this way, like she was totally invisible and forgettable, even to her own parents.
The loud rumble of a truck engine disturbed her self-pitying thoughts, and Julie held up a hand against the bright headlights facing her.
Julie stood up as the driver got out of the truck and came around the front. It was Tim, his face concerned.
“What the hell are you doing here by yourself?” he asked.
Julie wanted to be annoyed with him for being a paternalistic jerk, but she was too upset.
“I think everyone forgot about me,” she said, her voice cracking as she tried to contain her tears.
Tim took a step forward and folded her into a sudden hug. Taken aback, Julie stood frozen in his arms for a second before bringing her own up and hugging him back. A lump rose in her throat and she began to cry, burying her face in his chest. It was so much harder not to cry when someone was nice to you.
“It’s okay,” he said, petting her hair awkwardly.
After a minute, Julie stepped back, embarrassed.
“Sorry,” she sniffed. “I don’t know why I’m being so stupid about it.”
“Come on,” Tim said. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
Without another word, Julie climbed into the truck. They didn’t speak again until Tim pulled up in front of her house and turned the engine off.
“I’m sorry about Friday night,” he said, resting his hands on the steering wheel and staring out the windshield.
Julie turned and looked at him, surprised. “What are you sorry about?”
“For ditching you at the party,” he said, glancing at her. “That’s what you’re mad about, right?”
“Yeah,” she replied. “I guess.”
Tim turned fully to her and gave her a long look, his eyes not moving from her face. Julie started to feel uncomfortable.
“What?” she asked.
“I didn’t really sleep with Katie Miller,” he said.
“Oh. Okay,” she replied, frowning. “I don’t care. It’s none of my business who you sleep with.”
Tim looked confused. “Then why were you biting my head off this week?”
“Because,” Julie said, floundering around for something to say. She obviously couldn’t tell him the whole truth, which was that she was jealous and annoyed and frustrated, but she could tell him part of it. “Doesn’t it bother you, what everyone assumes about you?”
“I thought you didn’t care what anyone thinks,” Tim replied.
“Yeah, I’d like to not care what people think,” Julie said. “But Dillon is a small town. Whether you like it or not, sooner or later it will matter if people don’t think you’re a trustworthy person. It’s stupid, but there you go. Why do you think my parents are so jumpy about us spending time together outside of tutoring?”
“They are?” Tim asked, looking crestfallen.
“They like you and they’re really proud of you,” Julie reassured him. “But I guess... Well, they know you by reputation. You know?”
Tim nodded.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay,” Julie said, suddenly angry about the entire situation. “We’re friends and that’s it, and no one’s willing to look beyond their own preconceptions to see that. It’s stupid. Nothing else is going on, right?”
Tim stared at her for a moment. “Right,” he said.
“So whatever,” Julie said. “Forget everyone else. We know what’s going on.”
Tim nodded again.
“I’m really sorry about the whole party thing,” Julie said. “I guess I was just... out of sorts.”
“It’s okay,” Tim replied. “I was kind of a jerk about it. I guess I thought it would be more fun for you than it was.”
“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “Thanks for the ride. I don’t know how I would have gotten home if you hadn’t shown up.”
Julie hopped out of the truck and ran up to the front door, waving over her shoulder to Tim as she did so. He pulled away and drove off into the evening.
Julie unlocked the door and went inside, ready to give her parents the guilt trip of a lifetime.
***
Restless, Tim didn’t go straight home after dropping Julie off, instead preferring to drive aimlessly around Dillon for a while, radio playing softly.
It was what he had been doing when he noticed Julie outside Applebee’s, sitting glumly in the circle of one of the parking lot floodlights.
Tim knew it was stupid, but the first thing he had thought of, seeing how small and alone Julie looked sitting there, was Tyra. He had heard eventually (as everyone in Dillon always did about these things) what happened to Tyra last year, and that was what he thought about as he frantically pulled a u-turn and roared back around into the parking lot.
The thought of anything happening to Julie because he wasn’t around made him sick to his stomach.
Tim wanted to believe that it was just friendly, maybe even brotherly concern, but combined with some of the thoughts and dreams he’d had about Julie lately, Tim knew better.
He’d mostly been able to repress and deny his feelings until that very week, when she was angry with him and he suspected that she might be a little jealous about him and Katie Miller, after all.
Never had Tim been so glad to have passed out on his bedroom floor rather than having sex, even though the rumour mill worked its magic and Julie got mad at him anyway.
Tim frowned. Dillon and its gossip. So what if Jules really did like him and might take a chance on him? Her parents would never let him take her out. She’d said as much herself. They’d have to sneak around, and although the thought of climbing in Julie’s bedroom window thrilled him, he’d been down that road before and knew how well it was likely to turn out.
On the bright side, at least Julie wasn’t practically engaged to his crippled best friend.
Tim turned his truck towards home. Maybe things were looking up.
Chapter 6
Author: lindentree
Rating: R (for the series; this part is just PG)
Character(s): Tim/Julie
Word Count: 3,853
Summary: After 2x11, "Jumping the Gun", Julie's parents come up with an appropriate punishment for her - tutoring Tim Riggins.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
It was Friday night in Dillon, which meant one thing: football.
The Panthers were playing a home game against the Thompson Wildcats. The teams were very evenly matched, and at the start of the fourth quarter, the score was tied.
Julie stood in her usual spot in the stands, her mother on one side of her and Tyra on the other. Billy was standing on the other side of Tyra, watching his brother intensely.
“Tim’s sure having a good game,” Tami called down to Billy during a brief break in play, right after Tim made a spectacular hit on the Wildcats offense.
“Yeah,” Billy agreed. Julie could see the pride and anxiety in his eyes. “He’s been working real hard, getting serious.”
“He’s doing real well, right Julie?” her mother prompted.
“Yeah,” Julie replied, awkwardly. “He’s doing great.”
She glanced at Billy, who was giving her a knowing look. She blushed. In between them, Tyra rolled her eyes and elbowed Billy hard in the ribs.
“Ow!” he exclaimed, glaring at Tyra.
“What’s that?” Tami asked, not taking her eyes from the field.
“Nothing,” Billy said, returning his attention to the game.
Julie turned back to the game too, hoping her mother hadn’t seen the look she got from Billy.
They watched as Matt made a pass to Smash, who ran down the field only to be blocked unexpectedly by the Thompson defence. As one of the opposing players moved to tackle him, he threw the ball to Tim, who caught it and, dodging a few opponents of his own, made for the end zone.
The entire town of Dillon was on its feet as Tim leaped over a Thompson player and crashed triumphantly to the turf.
Julie threw her arms in the air, screaming herself hoarse as the Dillon side erupted in cheers and the clock hit zero. Julie watched as Tim rolled to his feet, throwing the ball down and smacking into his teammates for a raucous group hug. He removed his helmet, and even from up in the bleachers, Julie could see the joy all over his face. Something in her chest squeezed as she looked at him. Her eyes stung and she felt like she could burst with pride and happiness. She felt like crying and laughing all at once.
That sinking feeling of realisation returned, leaving her stomach cold. In that very instant, she knew she was in love with Tim Riggins.
How could she be so stupid?
Within seconds, everyone was out on the field celebrating with the team. Tami disappeared to find her husband, and Julie was left alone as Tyra and Billy left to find their respective loved ones, too. Glancing around at the jubilant crowd, Julie caught sight of Matt opening his arms to Carlotta, while his grandma stood by, beaming.
Julie watched as Matt and Carlotta embraced; she could see the closeness between them. Clutching her arms protectively against her chest, Julie tried not to feel sad and jealous and heartbroken, but the tears welled up anyway. She also couldn’t help but feel that this was it. There was nothing more she could do; Matt had moved on. Alone in a field full of people, Julie took a deep breath and exhaled, doing her best to just let it go. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Hey Jules,” came a deep voice from behind her.
Julie turned around and found a sweaty, gleeful Tim standing there in his dirty uniform, holding his helmet and grinning at her. She couldn’t help but grin back.
“Hey Tim,” she said, “Great game. You were amazing.”
“Thanks,” he said, pleased. He looked at her closely, his smile turning to a frown. Julie glanced over her shoulder at Matt and Carlotta, then back at Tim, who followed her line of sight. Comprehension dawned on Tim’s face.
“Come on,” he said, resting his hand against her back and walking in the opposite direction from Matt and Carlotta. “Victory party at my house. Let’s see if we can’t get you paroled for one night.”
***
By some miracle, Julie’s parents agreed to Tim’s polite and very sincere request that Julie be allowed to go back to his place for a party, on the condition that Julie be ready and waiting outside at midnight to be picked up. Julie could only hypothesize that the victory had gone to her father’s head.
Deciding not to push her luck, she refused all the drinks offered to her at Tim’s place. Unfortunately, she was apparently the only one, for the house was packed with drunken football players, cheerleaders, rally girls, and students. As such, the party was turning out to be more obnoxious than fun. Tim had spent most of the evening by his empty pool, holding court with the other Panthers.
Julie had managed to avoid Matt so far, but when she came across Riley the Creep chatting up an extremely intoxicated freshman rally girl, she seriously considered calling her mother to come early. Thankfully, at that moment, she spotted Tyra heading out to the backyard.
Catching up with her friend on the patio, Julie pulled her aside so they could talk.
“Hey,” Tyra said, surprised. “Didn’t expect to see you here. Aren’t you grounded?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Julie replied. “But Tim talked my parents into letting me out to celebrate.”
“Really?” Tyra asked, nonplussed.
“I know, it’s weird.”
“Yeah, it is weird. So where have you been lately? I know you’ve been grounded, but I feel like I haven’t seen you at all except at work.”
“Oh, you know,” Julie said breezily, “I guess I’ve been pretty busy with tutoring Tim and all that.”
“Right,” Tyra replied, shaking her head in disbelief.
“What?”
“I’ve known Tim a pretty long time, and I guess I just find it hard to believe that you two spend that much time studying.”
“Yeah, you and everyone else in the world seem to think that. For your information, he’s working hard and doing really well.”
“All right, don’t get all defensive.”
“Sorry,” Julie said, looking down at her feet. “It’s just - everyone keeps saying stuff like that to me, and it’s frustrating because we’re just friends, we’re really just friends, and no one believes that, and I’m like, okay, I know this is Tim Riggins and he has this reputation, and he’s hot and charming and funny and weirdly sweet sometimes and everything, but -“
“I’m sorry,” Tyra said, blinking rapidly, “Did you just say ‘weirdly sweet’?”
“Uh, yes,” Julie replied, apprehensive.
Tyra stared at her for a moment before speaking again.
“Oh my god. You like him.”
“No I don’t!” Julie protested.
“You totally do. You’re blushing right now. Oh my god.” Mouth agape, Tyra grabbed Julie by the arm and steered her to a secluded spot, away from the other party-goers.
“Spill the whole story right now, and don’t even bother lying,” Tyra demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Wh-what?” Julie stammered. “Wait, are you mad at me because I like Tim?”
“What? No, I don’t give a crap about that jackass, it’s you I’m worried about. I think you might need a shrink or an exorcism or something.”
“Ugh, Tyra. It’s horrible,” Julie said, burying her face in her hands and groaning.
“I know it is, honey,” Tyra soothed. “Just spill.”
“I don’t know. I only just figured it out tonight. I mean, I think I started sort of having these feelings when he almost got suspended for fighting and I went over to his house to see him and he was all beaten up and he told me about what happened, and I sort of wanted to like, make it better or something.”
“Go on.”
“We’ve been getting to be pretty good friends, I guess, hanging out and stuff. Then tonight I watched him score that winning touchdown, and he was so happy, and I was just so proud of him that I could burst, you know?”
Tyra nodded, her mouth in a taut line.
“And I’ve had a couple of dreams about him,” Julie said, looking away. “Um, sexy dreams.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t think there’s anything to do,” Julie admitted. “We’re friends, but I think he thinks of me as, like, a friend or a sister or something, you know? Plus my parents would go crazy.”
Tyra nodded, mulling it over. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do, but I will tell you this: Tim can be really vulnerable and sweet when he wants to be, but in the end, he’s selfish, and he’ll choose himself over you any day of the week. Which means that if you two are dating and there’s a cute new rally girl around, he’s not even going to hesitate before sleeping with her. Are you prepared for that?”
“No,” Julie replied, her heart sinking. “No, I’m not.”
Tyra smiled sadly. “Sorry, Jules. I understand completely, believe me, but I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Don’t waste yourself on him.”
“You’re right,” Julie said, sighing.
“Speak of the devil,” Tyra said, glaring pointedly towards the pool. Tim and one of the rally girls were doing body shots while the team cheered them on.
“Oh my god,” Julie moaned. “I have actually lost my mind.”
“Come on,” Tyra said, gently leading Julie by the arm. “I’ll drive you home. This party’s lame anyway.”
***
At ten minutes to midnight, an extremely drunk Tim began searching for Julie. He wanted to make sure she was outside on time, in the hopes that he could impress upon the Taylors that he wasn’t a total irresponsible dumbass.
He couldn’t find her anywhere. She wasn’t by the pool or the living room. Somewhat alarmed, Tim checked the bedrooms, the bathroom, and the garage, and although he found plenty of couples making use of those spaces, he was both relieved and confused to find that Julie was not a part of any of them.
Tim started asking around for her and found nothing until he asked some JV Panther whose name he didn’t know if he’d seen Julie Taylor.
“Sure, man. She left with Tyra Collette like half an hour ago. Damn,” he slurred, “There’s a sandwich I wouldn’t mind being the meat for, or whatever, if you know what I’m saying.”
“Shut up,” Tim muttered, turning away in confusion.
“Hey Tim,” came a bright voice. It was Katie Miller, one of the rally girls. Katie was cute and had long blond hair. Tim smiled, reaching out and tugging gently on the ends of her hair. Long, shiny blond hair.
“Hey Katie,” he said, drunkenly grinning what he hoped was an enticing grin. Apparently it was, because Katie smiled back and moved in closer.
“We’re all really proud of you, Tim,” she said.
“Thanks,” he replied, swaying slightly on his feet.
“All the rally girls thought we ought to give you something special, since you made such a great effort.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” she smiled, lacing her fingers with his. “Come on.”
Grabbing another beer, Tim followed her into his bedroom.
***
Julie was on her way to her history class on Monday morning when she was blindsided by Tyra and manhandled into an empty classroom.
“Good morning to you, too,” she said.
“Sorry,” Tyra replied. “I just wanted to get to you before anyone else did.”
“What?”
“I figured you might as well hear it from me instead of some gross jock.”
“Hear what?” Julie asked, worried.
“Tim slept with one of the rally girls on Friday night.”
Julie stared at her friend. “Which one?”
“Katie Miller, not that it matters,” Tyra replied.
“Oh,” Julie said, leaning against one of the desks. “Well, whatever. It’s not like we’re dating, right?”
“Right,” Tyra agreed, watching her closely.
Julie stood looking at her friend for a minute, trying to be rational about this. They weren’t dating; Tim was just her friend. She and Tyra had gone over all the reasons why dating Tim would be a terrible idea in the car on Friday night. It was never going to happen, so this didn’t matter. This definitely did not matter.
“Tyra?”
“Yeah?”
“It hurts,” Julie whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
“I know it does,” Tyra said, gathering her friend tightly into a hug.
They left the classroom when Julie got her tears under control. She felt like a world-class idiot, and was extremely thankful that she had a long shift at Applebee’s that night, because it meant that there would be no tutoring, and no Tim.
***
Tutoring could not be avoided forever, especially with mid-terms on the horizon. Tuesday found Julie and Tim seated in their usual spots at the Taylors' kitchen table, books open and pens out.
Julie was paying very careful attention to her chemistry homework, studiously ignoring the uncomfortably long stares Tim was sending her way.
"What's your problem?" she said finally, raising her eyes from her work to look at him.
"I don't have a problem," he replied. "What's your problem?"
"Nothing," she shrugged, her voice belying her irritation.
"If you say so,” Tim replied, looking back down at his own work.
There was a pause where Julie glared at his bowed head. Suddenly, she found herself speaking again.
“Everyone’s saying that you slept with Katie Miller on Friday night. Is that true?”
Tim frowned at the table. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Just curious,” Julie replied, trying to steady her voice, aiming for nonchalant.
"Didn't think you went in for gossip," Tim commented.
"I don't," she said, shrugging. "I was just wondering what fun stuff you got up to this weekend."
Tim gave her a searching look before answering.
"Yeah, I slept with her."
"Oh," Julie replied. She hadn't really expected a truthful response.
"Yeah," he said, clearing his throat and looking down at his work.
Silence fell on the table once more, and Julie turned her eyes back down to her work. She willed herself not to get upset about this; after all, this was just another reason why she and Tim were better as friends than anything else.
"How come you took off so early?" Tim asked suddenly, disturbing her thoughts. "I thought your curfew was midnight."
"I ran into Tyra and she offered me a ride," Julie replied. "I wasn't having much fun, anyway."
"You weren't?"
"No," Julie said, starting to feel aggravated. "No, Tim, it's not a lot of fun to stand around watching a bunch of jocks and rally girls do body shots off each other while everyone else takes bets on who’s the most likely to get pregnant tonight. It's just not really my idea of a good time."
"Oh, okay," he replied, looking irritated. "Next time I'll mind my own business and you can spend Friday night at home, with your parents and a bowl of popcorn."
"That would be great," Julie gritted, flipping a page in her textbook. She wasn’t sure whether she was angry because of the Katie thing, or because he had left her alone at the party, or because he wasn’t apologising for either.
"Fine," Tim said.
"Wonderful."
Silence fell again, and they didn't talk for the rest of the afternoon.
***
Two days later, Tim found Julie at her locker between classes to explain that he had a long practice that afternoon and would be late coming over.
"Whatever," Julie replied, her face blank.
Tim frowned down at her and lowered his voice.
"What's your problem, Taylor?"
Julie was about to answer when they were interrupted by Katie Miller walking by with several of the other rally girls.
"Hey Tim," she called, giving him a wave and a knowing smirk.
"Hey Katie," Tim replied, giving her a little nod.
"Unbelievable," Julie muttered, slamming her locker door shut.
Tim turned at the sound to look at her quizzically. A smirk slowly spread across his face.
"You're jealous," he said smugly.
Julie's face coloured with embarrassment and offence.
"It's insulting that you would even suggest that," she bit out. She didn't wait to hear his response; she turned and walked away.
***
After spending her shift watching Matt and Carlotta make googly eyes at each other and listening to a table full of rally girls gossip about Tim and Katie, Julie was ready to either cry or hit someone.
The clincher came when she checked her voicemail at the end of her shift and found a message from her mother saying that she wouldn’t be able to pick Julie up, so could she please get Tyra to give her a ride home. The only problem was that Tyra had switched her shifts at the last minute, and hadn’t been in that night.
Julie sat on the curb outside the restaurant, the parking lot empty and the restaurant dark. She had called her mother back, then called her father, then called Tyra three times. All she’d gotten were people’s voicemails.
Feeling pathetic and abandoned, Julie stared at the cell phone in her hand and sniffled as she began to cry. She hated feeling this way, like she was totally invisible and forgettable, even to her own parents.
The loud rumble of a truck engine disturbed her self-pitying thoughts, and Julie held up a hand against the bright headlights facing her.
Julie stood up as the driver got out of the truck and came around the front. It was Tim, his face concerned.
“What the hell are you doing here by yourself?” he asked.
Julie wanted to be annoyed with him for being a paternalistic jerk, but she was too upset.
“I think everyone forgot about me,” she said, her voice cracking as she tried to contain her tears.
Tim took a step forward and folded her into a sudden hug. Taken aback, Julie stood frozen in his arms for a second before bringing her own up and hugging him back. A lump rose in her throat and she began to cry, burying her face in his chest. It was so much harder not to cry when someone was nice to you.
“It’s okay,” he said, petting her hair awkwardly.
After a minute, Julie stepped back, embarrassed.
“Sorry,” she sniffed. “I don’t know why I’m being so stupid about it.”
“Come on,” Tim said. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
Without another word, Julie climbed into the truck. They didn’t speak again until Tim pulled up in front of her house and turned the engine off.
“I’m sorry about Friday night,” he said, resting his hands on the steering wheel and staring out the windshield.
Julie turned and looked at him, surprised. “What are you sorry about?”
“For ditching you at the party,” he said, glancing at her. “That’s what you’re mad about, right?”
“Yeah,” she replied. “I guess.”
Tim turned fully to her and gave her a long look, his eyes not moving from her face. Julie started to feel uncomfortable.
“What?” she asked.
“I didn’t really sleep with Katie Miller,” he said.
“Oh. Okay,” she replied, frowning. “I don’t care. It’s none of my business who you sleep with.”
Tim looked confused. “Then why were you biting my head off this week?”
“Because,” Julie said, floundering around for something to say. She obviously couldn’t tell him the whole truth, which was that she was jealous and annoyed and frustrated, but she could tell him part of it. “Doesn’t it bother you, what everyone assumes about you?”
“I thought you didn’t care what anyone thinks,” Tim replied.
“Yeah, I’d like to not care what people think,” Julie said. “But Dillon is a small town. Whether you like it or not, sooner or later it will matter if people don’t think you’re a trustworthy person. It’s stupid, but there you go. Why do you think my parents are so jumpy about us spending time together outside of tutoring?”
“They are?” Tim asked, looking crestfallen.
“They like you and they’re really proud of you,” Julie reassured him. “But I guess... Well, they know you by reputation. You know?”
Tim nodded.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay,” Julie said, suddenly angry about the entire situation. “We’re friends and that’s it, and no one’s willing to look beyond their own preconceptions to see that. It’s stupid. Nothing else is going on, right?”
Tim stared at her for a moment. “Right,” he said.
“So whatever,” Julie said. “Forget everyone else. We know what’s going on.”
Tim nodded again.
“I’m really sorry about the whole party thing,” Julie said. “I guess I was just... out of sorts.”
“It’s okay,” Tim replied. “I was kind of a jerk about it. I guess I thought it would be more fun for you than it was.”
“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “Thanks for the ride. I don’t know how I would have gotten home if you hadn’t shown up.”
Julie hopped out of the truck and ran up to the front door, waving over her shoulder to Tim as she did so. He pulled away and drove off into the evening.
Julie unlocked the door and went inside, ready to give her parents the guilt trip of a lifetime.
***
Restless, Tim didn’t go straight home after dropping Julie off, instead preferring to drive aimlessly around Dillon for a while, radio playing softly.
It was what he had been doing when he noticed Julie outside Applebee’s, sitting glumly in the circle of one of the parking lot floodlights.
Tim knew it was stupid, but the first thing he had thought of, seeing how small and alone Julie looked sitting there, was Tyra. He had heard eventually (as everyone in Dillon always did about these things) what happened to Tyra last year, and that was what he thought about as he frantically pulled a u-turn and roared back around into the parking lot.
The thought of anything happening to Julie because he wasn’t around made him sick to his stomach.
Tim wanted to believe that it was just friendly, maybe even brotherly concern, but combined with some of the thoughts and dreams he’d had about Julie lately, Tim knew better.
He’d mostly been able to repress and deny his feelings until that very week, when she was angry with him and he suspected that she might be a little jealous about him and Katie Miller, after all.
Never had Tim been so glad to have passed out on his bedroom floor rather than having sex, even though the rumour mill worked its magic and Julie got mad at him anyway.
Tim frowned. Dillon and its gossip. So what if Jules really did like him and might take a chance on him? Her parents would never let him take her out. She’d said as much herself. They’d have to sneak around, and although the thought of climbing in Julie’s bedroom window thrilled him, he’d been down that road before and knew how well it was likely to turn out.
On the bright side, at least Julie wasn’t practically engaged to his crippled best friend.
Tim turned his truck towards home. Maybe things were looking up.
Chapter 6