Missing LiveJournal, All I Want For Christmas, And The Bastard Nerve I Never Wanted
It is Christmas Eve morning about 9:30 AM, and I haven't gone to sleep yet. I have found that everything on the planet is pulling me away from live journal. I really don't want that to happen at all. I used to write in this journal almost every day at one time. But, someone from high school found me and sucked me over to "Facebook" and I ended up reconnecting with tons of people I went to school with. I'm not complaining, but there is only a limited amount of time to keep up with everything going on in cyberspace.
The last few months it seems as if the Universe and everyone in it has been pushing and helping me to finally take my life back from the disorder that has taken so much from me. Trigeminal Neuralgia does not have a cure, but there are several surgeries that can help relieve some or even sometimes all of the pain. Back in the Spring of this year, I finally got to see the top Neurosurgeon at The University of Pennsylvania Hospital. I don't think I wrote about it, because it was something I never wanted to think about again. My Dad went with me, but I saw the doctor alone as Matt couldn't be there with me. I was examined by his associate and then the surgeon. The surgeon decided that he would not operate on me. Needless to say...this was devastating. I learned that I did not have "classic" Trigeminal Neuralgia and he was afraid that the side effects of the surgery would be worse than what I am dealing with now. It's also my age, I'm so much younger than most people who get hit with this. I just don't understand how anything could be any worse than chronic disabling pain. After he refused, I actually considered going back to the Oral Maxillofacial Surgeon, who operated on me previously. Even if the surgery and recovery were agonizing, it was a success for 5 weeks. I'm still paralyzed on the left side of my mouth and face, but the pain came back with a vengeance. Anyway, me crying when I came out of the neurosurgeon's office scared the hell out of my dad, then I had to deliver the news that the doctor couldn't help me.
Okay, fast forward to Autumn of this year. This is when old friends, new friends, women that were like mothers to me and the Universe started telling me that now was the time. There was inspiration everywhere, right down to the book I was currently reading.
So, what the hell am I talking about and what does this have to do with Christmas?
The surgeon who INVENTED the surgeries on the Trigeminal Nerve previously resided at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, but is now practicing at a hospital in Pittsburg, PA. With the medical insurance I have, seeing this doctor would cost me out of pocket in a big way, plus this hospital is easily a 5 hour drive, not to mention having my head cut open. Deciding that the time is now and having faith that the money will come some way is one thing. But, really making this happen is another. There were two major factors that needed to happen in order to go for it. Matt wanted to make these things happen. Since my birthday is in December, I asked him for the first for my birthday and the second for Christmas. The first he took care of earlier this month and now the second was taken care of last week.
Now I have to make the big phone call to the hospital. It's becoming real and it's scary as hell, but it is worth it. It's worth more than anything money can buy (let's pretend I don't have to pay anything). So, with the help, love, and support of my family and friends... I have a chance to be pain free from a disorder that has no cure and that means no more medication that's made to treat other disorders, because there isn't even medicine out there for Trigeminal Neuralgia. No medication means feeling better, living a longer life, and having babies! (Okay, I think we all get the picture).
In a nutshell, instead of taking a drill to my own head and ripping this bastard nerve out myself, I'm going to get someone else to do it :P
On that note... Everyone have a Happy Whatever the Hell You Celebrate!!!
Sheri is going to sleep.
The last few months it seems as if the Universe and everyone in it has been pushing and helping me to finally take my life back from the disorder that has taken so much from me. Trigeminal Neuralgia does not have a cure, but there are several surgeries that can help relieve some or even sometimes all of the pain. Back in the Spring of this year, I finally got to see the top Neurosurgeon at The University of Pennsylvania Hospital. I don't think I wrote about it, because it was something I never wanted to think about again. My Dad went with me, but I saw the doctor alone as Matt couldn't be there with me. I was examined by his associate and then the surgeon. The surgeon decided that he would not operate on me. Needless to say...this was devastating. I learned that I did not have "classic" Trigeminal Neuralgia and he was afraid that the side effects of the surgery would be worse than what I am dealing with now. It's also my age, I'm so much younger than most people who get hit with this. I just don't understand how anything could be any worse than chronic disabling pain. After he refused, I actually considered going back to the Oral Maxillofacial Surgeon, who operated on me previously. Even if the surgery and recovery were agonizing, it was a success for 5 weeks. I'm still paralyzed on the left side of my mouth and face, but the pain came back with a vengeance. Anyway, me crying when I came out of the neurosurgeon's office scared the hell out of my dad, then I had to deliver the news that the doctor couldn't help me.
Okay, fast forward to Autumn of this year. This is when old friends, new friends, women that were like mothers to me and the Universe started telling me that now was the time. There was inspiration everywhere, right down to the book I was currently reading.
So, what the hell am I talking about and what does this have to do with Christmas?
The surgeon who INVENTED the surgeries on the Trigeminal Nerve previously resided at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, but is now practicing at a hospital in Pittsburg, PA. With the medical insurance I have, seeing this doctor would cost me out of pocket in a big way, plus this hospital is easily a 5 hour drive, not to mention having my head cut open. Deciding that the time is now and having faith that the money will come some way is one thing. But, really making this happen is another. There were two major factors that needed to happen in order to go for it. Matt wanted to make these things happen. Since my birthday is in December, I asked him for the first for my birthday and the second for Christmas. The first he took care of earlier this month and now the second was taken care of last week.
Now I have to make the big phone call to the hospital. It's becoming real and it's scary as hell, but it is worth it. It's worth more than anything money can buy (let's pretend I don't have to pay anything). So, with the help, love, and support of my family and friends... I have a chance to be pain free from a disorder that has no cure and that means no more medication that's made to treat other disorders, because there isn't even medicine out there for Trigeminal Neuralgia. No medication means feeling better, living a longer life, and having babies! (Okay, I think we all get the picture).
In a nutshell, instead of taking a drill to my own head and ripping this bastard nerve out myself, I'm going to get someone else to do it :P
On that note... Everyone have a Happy Whatever the Hell You Celebrate!!!
Sheri is going to sleep.