Mastercard....isnt it the truth!
I have been having a MAJOR mastercard weekend.
1 new ski boat = $3500
2 new wake boards = $295
Hospital Bill = $769
3 broken ribs, a bruised pelvis, a bruised hip, and a million hugs = priceless
*I didnt get that job at the YMCA that i had hoped for
*My car is totally tweaking...the battery wont hold a charge
*I havent gotten payed yet, and i have 3 appointments tuesday.
*I am not even CLOSE to being ready for school to start
*I dont have insurance that I am paying for yet
*I dont have a job yet
*and im TOTALLY exhausted
I have never been in so much pain in MY LIFE! it hurts SOO much, i would be fine if it were 1 or 2...but 2 are on my right side and the other is on the left side...so i CANT move AT ALL! It hurts so bad. I had to help with our BBQ today. Well i didnt have to, but i wanted to. I wanted to have fun so i went in the boat. I thought i was going to die. It hurt so bad. I was shaking i was in so much pain. I hate this. I cant sit, stand, move, or EVEN breathe without it hurting. I NEED TO COMPLAIN!
But today was so fun! George is the sweetest, cutest, funniest, smartest buddy i have ever had. He felt so bad for me, he was bringing me drinks and pillows and stuff. and then it was time for lunch and he made my sandwich for me. He is such a sweetie. He came and sat on my lap and ate with me, while everyone else was out on the boat. I fell asleep, and so he went out on the boat for a few minutes and then he heard me wake up and he HAD to get out and come check on me. He is my bumble bee. It was a really cute game we were playing. Then his little sister got REALLY attatched to me. She usually NEVER lets ANYONE hold her. it was so adorable. She cried when i tried to give her to her mom. I felt VERY loved. It was fun. He hugged me but not around my waist, around my head or legs, or arms. haha...he is SO adorable. I will have to put a picture of him on here. I love him! AHH! he is the sweetest 3 year old i have ever seen in my life! i love that kid. I cant wait to see them again.
I think im going to go wait for Lee to call me. I miss him so much. I cant believe it, i still have EVERYTHING that Lee has given to me. Every rose, every little note, everything! I have the little note from when he asked me to Prom, the balloons are still inflated from when he asked me, i have the card he gave me at our 4 months., i have all of the movie stubs from the movies we have gone to. I dont know what im going to do with all of the stuff, but i like to have it. I dont know if its sweet or weird, but it is helping me adjust to not being around him for weeks at a time. It is really hard right now, since i am having problems.. I think i am getting better though. I have been writing in a journal that i take to Jaelynn (my therapist). She is so nice. I have to write in the thing 2 times a day. i havent been very good at doing it. But when i do, its some juicy stuff. haha...i always get my emotions out. It is helping me alot, i mean i feel like everyone could care less about how i feel about things. it has nothing to do with friends or school. I think that it is all about my family problems. deep down i have a really strong hate for my mom. (ex. Today Lisa suggested the name Buster for the baby, and my mom flipped out and screamed, saying "NO, HOW COULD SOMEONE NAME THEIR CHILD THAT" and some other stuff....i know it usually wouldnt mean that much to someone, but it meant alot to me. MY DADS NAME IS BUSTER. well his nickname. and i started crying when she said that, and i didnt want her to see me because she might suspect something so i had to make my way over to the car and be alone. I hate it, i cant share anything with her. my grandma gave me a picture of Derik and I together and i fall asleep with it in my arms every night. I know that someday i am going to show my mom, but i dont know... I think that is the main reason for why i am so emotional right now. My dad is getting out soon and my aunt has been helping me out with alot of stuff. I think i just need to talk to my mom about it. But i dont know how to bring it up, or how she will react. It will be really awkward for a while and i dont want it to be. I think that i should tell her before the baby is born so that she will pay attention to what i have to say and not be distracted. I hope that she doesnt get mad at me. I just want a real family....my family has absolutely the worse things happen.
*My cousin was murdered in the green river killings
*My aunt was raped to death on the water tower in tenino
*My brother was murdered by my dad.
*2 of my uncles have died in the past month from cancer
*2 of my aunts were just diagnosed with breast cancer in the past week
*my cousin drowned about a month ago
*my grandma commited suicide a few years ago
*my grandpa is threatening us that he is going to die
*3 of my cousins died about 3 weeks ago when they drove off a cliff to avoid a drunk driver...
wow....that is crazy....there is so much more...but it is getting a little depressing and sort of pathetic...
i think i need to go lay down....my ribs are causing me extreme pain....Hopefully i will talk to ya'll soon!