"Okay, so, if I run into a vampire, unless he's Seelyish or a bleach blonde, I toast him? Mel was saying something about holy water. I'm used to that being for zombies, but I've got some handy."
She nodded again. "Okay. I'll - if Arizona's a desert, I can totally just - change things a little, right? Or maybe I just say it's Spira and it's far away and they'll think it's a country they've never heard of? I just ... I don't want to lie to them and ... and have to pretend I'm not an Al Bhed, like Yunie did, and I know it's not the same but I ... I hate it."
It took a few moments for her to shake her head and move to the next point. "Oh! The ... oh, wow, we should totally get people and I didn't even think of that, and ... it's something to do with the sky eating people!? And there's a girl named Will who thinks she can fix it but Valentine's not sure and, you know. Fandom again, off to save the world, see you Monday, and he hates it and ... I don't know." She considered. "Buffy, your sister? You said before she does the whole world-saving deal, too. Guess it's a family thing?"
"Yup. Fire, holy water, wooden stakes to the heart and decapitation will all work. Just don't breathe the dust in, because some people are allergic."
"Actually, if you call Spira a province or segment of one of the African countries, you could probably still call yourself an Al Bhed," Dawn said, thoughtfully, "Nobody knows all the tribes, so you could be from a little one that hasn't been covered by National Geographic yet."
"...a girl named Will can fix the sky eating people?" She closed her eyes briefly. Please don't be Willow, please don't be Willow, please don't be Willow. "And Buffy started it, at least in my family."
"Fire too?" Rikku considered. "I have, like, fire gems, and I know a Fire spell but it's seriously weak. Better than nothing."
"Maybe I do that, then? They'd ... they'd think I was, uh. That'd explain why I'm not so good with some of the normal things, right? I mean, it's mostly true, just not, uh, not really." She slumped in her chair again. "They're gonna think I'm crazy, aren't they?!"
She chewed her lip. "I think so? She's a Guardian, but not like I am. And Yunie started it in mine. No, her dad did, I guess. Huh."
"Heck, just knowing that vampires exist puts you way ahead of most people." She considered, "Okay, maybe not in Fandom, but most other places. And yeah, that would explain that, plus we can teach you stuff, just like you're studying for a test, if you want. Of course they're not going to think you're crazy! Or maybe it'll be the good kind?"
"Guardian?" Okay, Willow here wouldn't know about that yet. She didn't think. "So, it's a tradition. Buffy's really the natural at it, though."
Rikku nodded. "We didn't have vampires. Zombies, yeah, and fiends, but no vampires. I'm kinda curious to see what they're like, but I guess they don't show up here. Weird."
She shrugged, a little awkwardly. "I don't ... like the idea of lying to them. I mean. I know I have to, but ... I don't think they're the type to think weird is good anyway. He said his mom's real stiff and speaks Polish at people when she knows they don't speak it? And I'm gonna be loud and flaily and wearing bright colors and I told him he should lie and say he's dating Hermione but he didn't go for it."
"I guess lots of people have Guardians, huh?" Rikku thought for a minute. "Are you sure Buffy won't ... mind? If we drag her along on some crazy stupid world-savey thing?"
"Um, they're pretty mean and bitey and sometimes they try to destroy the world," Dawn explained.
"Loud and flaily and wearing bright colors isn't necessarily bad, Rikku. Sometimes people are tweedy and British uptight just because they don't know how to relax. And good for Jude."
"If she minds, or is busy, I'm sure she'll tell you."
"I wonder if I could take one," Rikku mused. "A vampire, I mean. And ... no, it isn't, but if you're stuffy and formal then there's no way loud and flaily is what you want your son to bring home. It's ... I wish he would have told them that. Hermione would be perfect for that, all proper and Hermione-ish and ... I'm gonna be me and they're gonna give me this look like 'did you hit your head?' and then give him the look of 'where did you find her and can you take her back?'"
Rikku nodded. "Okay. Then I'll ask her. A cheerleader in need, right? Well, I guess it's more Valentine in need, and he's not one? But he tried out. That's gotta count for something."
"If I can do it, you can do it," Dawn told her confidently, "And wait, he didn't tell them you were, er, so exuberant? I'm sure his parents want to meet the girl who makes Jude so happy, not just the girl who suits them." Yes, because that had always worked so well in her house, not that that was the point. "Just say you're non-refundable and he threw out the receipt."
"No," Rikku blushed, "I mean, I wish he would have told them he was with Hermione. But he probably didn't tell them that, either. 'Wait till you meet her, Mom & Dad. She talks faster than anybody I know!'" She shook her head sadly. "It's gonna be awful and they're gonna be all, find someone normal."
She smiled at Dawn. "Buffy's pretty awesome, you know? Guess that runs in the family, too."
She nodded again. "Okay. I'll - if Arizona's a desert, I can totally just - change things a little, right? Or maybe I just say it's Spira and it's far away and they'll think it's a country they've never heard of? I just ... I don't want to lie to them and ... and have to pretend I'm not an Al Bhed, like Yunie did, and I know it's not the same but I ... I hate it."
It took a few moments for her to shake her head and move to the next point. "Oh! The ... oh, wow, we should totally get people and I didn't even think of that, and ... it's something to do with the sky eating people!? And there's a girl named Will who thinks she can fix it but Valentine's not sure and, you know. Fandom again, off to save the world, see you Monday, and he hates it and ... I don't know." She considered. "Buffy, your sister? You said before she does the whole world-saving deal, too. Guess it's a family thing?"
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"Actually, if you call Spira a province or segment of one of the African countries, you could probably still call yourself an Al Bhed," Dawn said, thoughtfully, "Nobody knows all the tribes, so you could be from a little one that hasn't been covered by National Geographic yet."
"...a girl named Will can fix the sky eating people?" She closed her eyes briefly. Please don't be Willow, please don't be Willow, please don't be Willow. "And Buffy started it, at least in my family."
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"Maybe I do that, then? They'd ... they'd think I was, uh. That'd explain why I'm not so good with some of the normal things, right? I mean, it's mostly true, just not, uh, not really." She slumped in her chair again. "They're gonna think I'm crazy, aren't they?!"
She chewed her lip. "I think so? She's a Guardian, but not like I am. And Yunie started it in mine. No, her dad did, I guess. Huh."
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"Guardian?" Okay, Willow here wouldn't know about that yet. She didn't think. "So, it's a tradition. Buffy's really the natural at it, though."
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She shrugged, a little awkwardly. "I don't ... like the idea of lying to them. I mean. I know I have to, but ... I don't think they're the type to think weird is good anyway. He said his mom's real stiff and speaks Polish at people when she knows they don't speak it? And I'm gonna be loud and flaily and wearing bright colors and I told him he should lie and say he's dating Hermione but he didn't go for it."
"I guess lots of people have Guardians, huh?" Rikku thought for a minute. "Are you sure Buffy won't ... mind? If we drag her along on some crazy stupid world-savey thing?"
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"Loud and flaily and wearing bright colors isn't necessarily bad, Rikku. Sometimes people are tweedy and British uptight just because they don't know how to relax. And good for Jude."
"If she minds, or is busy, I'm sure she'll tell you."
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Rikku nodded. "Okay. Then I'll ask her. A cheerleader in need, right? Well, I guess it's more Valentine in need, and he's not one? But he tried out. That's gotta count for something."
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"Buffy'll help," she said. "Cheerleader or not."
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She smiled at Dawn. "Buffy's pretty awesome, you know? Guess that runs in the family, too."
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She blushed. "Yeah, Buffy is pretty awesome." Most of the time, anyway.
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Okay, she couldn't think of anything obvious that she wasn't, that would reassure his parents. That was bad.
"I'll call her, then. Or maybe Valentine will. When he gets back. He has to go somewhere today. I didn't get the whole story, it's kinda weird."
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