Another Dream: Drunk on emotion?
Soooo... here's another one.. it's a few days late but I just found my notes on it that I wrote at 4am or something so thought I'd work from them and get it down :)
...
The first thing I remember is that for some reason I had a carer. There was someone following me around, keeping me safe and feeding me. I remember feeling guilty but not wanting to admit I didn't actually need them so I began acting as if I was mentally handicapped. It's basically the most offensive I've ever been in a dream (and anywhere else!) as all I could think to do to keep up the act was to remain silent, drool a lot and not walk properly. At one stage, I failed. Something was on TV that surprised me so much I commented on it out loud. Everyone just turned and looked at me with expressions of both surprise and disgust. Suddenly, everyone was against me and judging. No one wanted to be in the same room as me and anyone that walked past just glared horribly and pushed me away if I tried to get close to them. I just remember thinking that I didn't mean to do anything wrong, like I was so worried that the carer would feel their efforts were going nowhere and that's the reason I faked it.
The next part was a very quick switch but seemed to follow on. I was standing in a large lounge area and there were a group of people my age sitting across from me next to large patio doors with a courtyard outside them. In front of me was a sofa that was facing away from me and as I walked towards it I noticed someone lying on it (it was my best friend and house mate from Liverpool). I was a bit shaken but still considerably calm from what had happened previous and felt calmer seeing her until I realised that something was wrong. She was in agony. Her face was pulling horrible expressions as if it was being torn as she was screaming and her whole body writhed in the pain. I had no idea what was wrong and kept shouting her name as I tried to comfort her. I then shouted to the other people sitting across the room to call an ambulance and help me. No one listened. I was screaming so loud and crying, desperate for someone to just look at me and no one did. I was so overwhelmed and distraught that I ended up feeling as though I was drunk on it. Nothing was in focus anymore and my mind kept having flash backs to my friend's face. I couldn't walk, I couldn't think, I could barely scream anything coherent anymore... It was possibly the most intense feeling of sadness and desperation I've ever felt.
Then I was outside. It was sunny and slightly breezy, basically my perfect weather. I was with my mum and another really good friend of mine who I always feel safe and confident with. I turned to my mum and hugged her, telling her about how I'd felt like everyone hated me. She felt sorry and assured me that she would always care. She even said my friends did too really but that they needed time to get over everything..
The friend we were with took a photo of my mum and me under a beautiful clearing of curved trees (it's actually a picture I really wish did exist because in my head it looks amazing!).
Scene change: Suddenly I'm with a group of guys (possibly a boy band? O.o) fiddling with some posters they've put up for promoting/advertising something/themselves... (this last part is very sketchy) basically the last thing I remember is almost choking on paper...
--/--
I woke up emotionally drained but with no tears and had a weird feeling in my throat.
I'd say the first part definitely has something to do with stress and possibly also since the friend I saw in pain has been through a lot recently so maybe it's also my worry for her coming through that way.
The part outside with the sun and trees is interesting to me since I was with two people in my life that I feel particularly secure with and in a setting that I find the most relaxing in everyday life.. so maybe it was my mind trying to calm me down somehow?
The final part... I seriously have no idea O.o
So yeah..
Peace, love and calming surroundings ^_^ xxx
...
The first thing I remember is that for some reason I had a carer. There was someone following me around, keeping me safe and feeding me. I remember feeling guilty but not wanting to admit I didn't actually need them so I began acting as if I was mentally handicapped. It's basically the most offensive I've ever been in a dream (and anywhere else!) as all I could think to do to keep up the act was to remain silent, drool a lot and not walk properly. At one stage, I failed. Something was on TV that surprised me so much I commented on it out loud. Everyone just turned and looked at me with expressions of both surprise and disgust. Suddenly, everyone was against me and judging. No one wanted to be in the same room as me and anyone that walked past just glared horribly and pushed me away if I tried to get close to them. I just remember thinking that I didn't mean to do anything wrong, like I was so worried that the carer would feel their efforts were going nowhere and that's the reason I faked it.
The next part was a very quick switch but seemed to follow on. I was standing in a large lounge area and there were a group of people my age sitting across from me next to large patio doors with a courtyard outside them. In front of me was a sofa that was facing away from me and as I walked towards it I noticed someone lying on it (it was my best friend and house mate from Liverpool). I was a bit shaken but still considerably calm from what had happened previous and felt calmer seeing her until I realised that something was wrong. She was in agony. Her face was pulling horrible expressions as if it was being torn as she was screaming and her whole body writhed in the pain. I had no idea what was wrong and kept shouting her name as I tried to comfort her. I then shouted to the other people sitting across the room to call an ambulance and help me. No one listened. I was screaming so loud and crying, desperate for someone to just look at me and no one did. I was so overwhelmed and distraught that I ended up feeling as though I was drunk on it. Nothing was in focus anymore and my mind kept having flash backs to my friend's face. I couldn't walk, I couldn't think, I could barely scream anything coherent anymore... It was possibly the most intense feeling of sadness and desperation I've ever felt.
Then I was outside. It was sunny and slightly breezy, basically my perfect weather. I was with my mum and another really good friend of mine who I always feel safe and confident with. I turned to my mum and hugged her, telling her about how I'd felt like everyone hated me. She felt sorry and assured me that she would always care. She even said my friends did too really but that they needed time to get over everything..
The friend we were with took a photo of my mum and me under a beautiful clearing of curved trees (it's actually a picture I really wish did exist because in my head it looks amazing!).
Scene change: Suddenly I'm with a group of guys (possibly a boy band? O.o) fiddling with some posters they've put up for promoting/advertising something/themselves... (this last part is very sketchy) basically the last thing I remember is almost choking on paper...
--/--
I woke up emotionally drained but with no tears and had a weird feeling in my throat.
I'd say the first part definitely has something to do with stress and possibly also since the friend I saw in pain has been through a lot recently so maybe it's also my worry for her coming through that way.
The part outside with the sun and trees is interesting to me since I was with two people in my life that I feel particularly secure with and in a setting that I find the most relaxing in everyday life.. so maybe it was my mind trying to calm me down somehow?
The final part... I seriously have no idea O.o
So yeah..
Peace, love and calming surroundings ^_^ xxx