confusion
Ok so the person who I wrote about and I had distinguished that we were going to just pull back alittle and take things slower because he is afraid of what will happen in 4 months. For some people not talking maybe the easiest thing for them to get over a situation or person. But not for this girl. No I wanted at least a call! Asking How I was doing! Why does this hurt so bad. It was freakin so quickly there and then done with. But I let my heart open up again. I do that so hard. I open up whole heartedly. Because I wanted to so bad but protected myself for a little but then felt able to trust and then Blah... Handed my heart over to be once again crushed because of the other person not knowing what they want. Katie said it best,"Your done with guys who don't know what they want" but i heard the words alittle too late. I really like this guy. So much about him. His personality makes me laugh, admire and surprises me all at once. Also because he lets it out slowly. He's not one to talk all about himself. He loves kids. Oh so much more. But now he broke my heart. I sound so sappy. Thats how i feel though. But its my fault too for opening up.
"You also have to remember God won't give you what you can't handle. If you open up to someone and it doesn't work out or if they hurt you, you are strong enough to 'move on'...to learn and grow...till you find your Love." This is what Katie responded with the last entry. I dont know how much i can handle anymore. I can't keep opening up because i keep getting hurt, and it hurts BADDLY! SO baddly that these words can't express what i'm really feeling. This guy is so much better in soooooo many ways compared to the previous. I dont like comparing but i wonder why i was so hurt by him and now i'm back in the same place, But worse i believe for some reason.
Ok here's the question... Am I hurting because i was hurt or is there something more? Where it was such a small amount of time spent with this friend as more than a friend (key word friend because he was a friend before for a good amount of time) does this mean there is something more there where i feel so strongly so fast? Help me out here... what do you think? And should I take the fact that he hasnt contacted me as "He's a jerk, forgetabout him?" Or should i still be his friend like we planned (to get to know each other better with out the pressures of a relationship (guess whos idea that was ;-P)? I'm just crazy right?
God you gave me this heart for a reason. Help me use it correctly. Help harness my emotions until time is right, under your guidence. I feel most confused in your guidence with me and relationships. Please help me through this.
"You also have to remember God won't give you what you can't handle. If you open up to someone and it doesn't work out or if they hurt you, you are strong enough to 'move on'...to learn and grow...till you find your Love." This is what Katie responded with the last entry. I dont know how much i can handle anymore. I can't keep opening up because i keep getting hurt, and it hurts BADDLY! SO baddly that these words can't express what i'm really feeling. This guy is so much better in soooooo many ways compared to the previous. I dont like comparing but i wonder why i was so hurt by him and now i'm back in the same place, But worse i believe for some reason.
Ok here's the question... Am I hurting because i was hurt or is there something more? Where it was such a small amount of time spent with this friend as more than a friend (key word friend because he was a friend before for a good amount of time) does this mean there is something more there where i feel so strongly so fast? Help me out here... what do you think? And should I take the fact that he hasnt contacted me as "He's a jerk, forgetabout him?" Or should i still be his friend like we planned (to get to know each other better with out the pressures of a relationship (guess whos idea that was ;-P)? I'm just crazy right?
God you gave me this heart for a reason. Help me use it correctly. Help harness my emotions until time is right, under your guidence. I feel most confused in your guidence with me and relationships. Please help me through this.