not a day goes by...
Im still hurting. I still wish I could take him in my arms, hug him, and know it would be alright. I still love him beyond words. But I am getting there. I have spent the last few days trying to fill up every inch of my time with distractions. Trying to take my mind away from everything. Things havent gotten easier, Ive just gotten better at ignoring them. Trying to get myself excited about something that I really dont want. Trying to be positive when really, I feel like curling up into a ball and crying for a week straight. I dont even know how to express how much I miss him. His touch, his voice, his laughter, his warmth, his humor, him. Time doesnt make things go away. Time doesnt make things easier. Time only makes us able to push through to that place inside ourselves where we can face the world without going insane.
Everyday I see him less and less. We speak less and less.
I dont know why I keep writing anymore. This will never change anything. My Boo, the man I love, is gone. I wont get that back. My life is now me. So where is it that I'll end up next? Whats down the road? I dont know. I just hope it doesnt hurt like this does. I just hope one day I can just smile over what I had, and not have it rip me in two. I just hope it gets easier.
Me
Everyday I see him less and less. We speak less and less.
I dont know why I keep writing anymore. This will never change anything. My Boo, the man I love, is gone. I wont get that back. My life is now me. So where is it that I'll end up next? Whats down the road? I dont know. I just hope it doesnt hurt like this does. I just hope one day I can just smile over what I had, and not have it rip me in two. I just hope it gets easier.
Me