Evil-doers LOOK OUT!
Living alone, great, blah blah love it. But I'm still getting used to the idea of being alone. I jump at everything. I'm actually better than I was when I first moved in, but I still have to make sure all the doors are locked a couple of times before I can go to bed. And then it takes me forever to fall asleep because I've developed this ritual:
Bedtime Pre-Game Show:
-Brush teeth
-Wash face
-Turn off computer
-Lock door
-Lock patio door
-Check both doors again
-Lie in bed reading for a bit
-Turn off light
Bedtime:
-Roll over
-Think about people breaking in
-Laugh at how silly I am
-Think about zombies breaking in
-Nervous laughter about how silly I am
-Think about aliens breaking in
-Image of E.T. flashes through my mind
-Get up
-Put on shirt
-Check locks again
-Try to think happy thoughts until I fall asleep
So that's me right now. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just the way it is. Last night was a bit different though. I had this dream that the front door was wide open. I woke up with a start and looked out my bedroom door. I could have SWORN I saw someone's shadow walk by. Twice.
I FREAK. (Quietly). I truly thought someone had come into my apartment. I grab my tshirt off the floor and wrapped it around me (not even bothering to put the dumb thing on). And then what was my big plan for saving my own life from WHATEVER had wandered into my apartment?
I said (loudly), "Excuse me? Is someone here?"
And then I cautiously crawled out of bed and peeked into the living room. And checked the locks. Again.
Yup. That's my 2am defense. Politeness. And reliance on a burglar/alien/zombie to be honest.
Me: "Excuse me? Is someone here?"
Burglar/alien/zombie: Oh what a polite young lady. That's so sweet of her to respect our privacy and ask us if we are here, not just storm out with pepper spray. Let's answer her honestly! Yes! I'm a burglar/alien/zombie! I came into your apartment to do you harm but you are so polite! I think I'll just leave, shall I? Lovely home you have though. Promise not to be back! Sorry for the fright!
I'm so weird.
Bedtime Pre-Game Show:
-Brush teeth
-Wash face
-Turn off computer
-Lock door
-Lock patio door
-Check both doors again
-Lie in bed reading for a bit
-Turn off light
Bedtime:
-Roll over
-Think about people breaking in
-Laugh at how silly I am
-Think about zombies breaking in
-Nervous laughter about how silly I am
-Think about aliens breaking in
-Image of E.T. flashes through my mind
-Get up
-Put on shirt
-Check locks again
-Try to think happy thoughts until I fall asleep
So that's me right now. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just the way it is. Last night was a bit different though. I had this dream that the front door was wide open. I woke up with a start and looked out my bedroom door. I could have SWORN I saw someone's shadow walk by. Twice.
I FREAK. (Quietly). I truly thought someone had come into my apartment. I grab my tshirt off the floor and wrapped it around me (not even bothering to put the dumb thing on). And then what was my big plan for saving my own life from WHATEVER had wandered into my apartment?
I said (loudly), "Excuse me? Is someone here?"
And then I cautiously crawled out of bed and peeked into the living room. And checked the locks. Again.
Yup. That's my 2am defense. Politeness. And reliance on a burglar/alien/zombie to be honest.
Me: "Excuse me? Is someone here?"
Burglar/alien/zombie: Oh what a polite young lady. That's so sweet of her to respect our privacy and ask us if we are here, not just storm out with pepper spray. Let's answer her honestly! Yes! I'm a burglar/alien/zombie! I came into your apartment to do you harm but you are so polite! I think I'll just leave, shall I? Lovely home you have though. Promise not to be back! Sorry for the fright!
I'm so weird.