Malila’s Unfiltered Rant of 2018
Warning: After this sentence, there will be large amounts of profanity. I will also probably come off sounding like a cynical, mean, judgmental asshole- but this is the raw unfiltered form of Malila I promise I am decent human being this is raw anger, so here we go.
Preface: This year, after a series of traumatic events, I have made the decision to stop using a lot of filters I have had. Almost losing my mother to alcoholism at Christmas was extremely difficult. I stand here today grateful that she is still alive, but with a lot of emotional weight on my shoulders, which are expressed through mostly anger and anxiety. I’m tired of holding myself back in fear of offending people because honestly, fuck that shit. We’re living in a completely twacked-out, backwards and chaotic time period in American history. We’re all scared because the fucking stupid crackhead racist shit stain idiot in office has us constantly worried about nuclear war. So honestly fuck it all. I’m unfiltered Malila now.
Three main things have been really bothering me this year.
The first is in relation to the perception of musicians in society by non-musicians. As we know musicians are a form of artist. They work with sound, time, rhythm, pitch, sound color and articulation, texture, instrumentation, words, etc. to communicate their artistic voice and artistic ideas. I am a musician and pianist, and I am so god damn fucking tired of people thinking musicians are not worth paying. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how many hours I have practiced? Probably longer than you have ever spent doing anything in your entire fucking life and I am still going strong, so good luck catching up to me YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON! People that are either unwilling to pay (albeit, only professional) musicians or are tentative to pay (and thus offer shitty as fuck rates) can go fuck themselves. You can go find someone who doesn’t do this for a living and just does it as a god damn hobby because honest to god, working 3 jobs AND gigging while having no health benefits or salary is the life of many musicians (yup, I'm one!), and I am extremely protective and PROUD of all that I have earned with my hard work, my creativity, and my music. Professional musicians are no different than doctors, carpenters, artists, or anyone who has spent their whole life dedicated to honing a craft and learning a skill. The stereotype that musicians are lazy drug addicts who ride on their talent alone is NOT. TRUE. PROFESSIONAL MUSICIANS WORK HARD AF AND THE BEST MUSICIANS KNOW THAT TALENT WORKS IN CONJUNCTION WITH HARD WORK AND DEDICATION! So up YOUR BUTTHOLE, world!
The second thing that has been bothering me is shade-ism. I am so sick and tired of people of all walks of life judging and basing people off their skin color, BUT PARTICULARLY SHADE OF SKIN COLOR. I have to say before I continue: FUCK RACISM AND FUCK RACISTS! And that when I continue this rant, I do NOT mean to complain about my skin color or invalidate people of color's struggles that I don't always experience (because I do exist on the lighter side of the spectrum) and so I do not want that to be the overtone of this rant. All skin colors are beautiful and should be accepted and empowered, love you all.
BUT, really though, say you are darker than someone else and then judge them because they aren’t the same exact color as you? Or you are lighter than someone, whatever. Sure, they may or may not experience the same socioeconomic or racist issues that you do (and again, am not invalidating those at all)- but that doesn’t mean that they don’t belong to the same ethnic group as you. They belong to what they identify as through their cultural practices, their family's cultural practices, etc. There are so many Native Americans that look extremely Caucasian, but they are Native American culturally. I have so much respect for my Native friends who have blonde hair, blue eyes, or extremely fair skin and remain so connected to their culture. I also empathize with you a lot because I am light skinned as well. So sure, an aspect of privilege may exist, but you cannot continue to judge them for their culture based off of their shade alone.
I feel like the main offenders here are white men (OLD white men especially!!!!). Oh, OK- NBD the dominant members of society for the past THOUSAND BILLION YEARS is CONTINUING TO MANSPLAIN AND TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY ARE AND ARENT?!!? Go fuck yourself! Up yours! So I’m lighter in the winter and a somewhat darker in the summer. SO WHAT. So I look like I’m Hispanic or Italian or Hawaiian or Greek or WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE one day and white the next. SO WHAT? So are a ton of other people SO STOP TELLING ME WHAT I AM AND WHAT I AM NOT BECAUSE THAT IS FOR ME TO FUCKING DECIDE YOU FUCKING QLUQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had it up to virtual HERE with people and their lack of cultural education. America is beautiful and so diverse. We should embrace that. The thing that really puts the salt in the wound is this: I met a Croatian this summer who immediately recognized me as Native American and we barely even knew each other (that isn't the salty part, its the awesome part!! lol). How many Americans ask me that off the bat? HARDLY ANY. They literally go through Every. Other. Culture. Before they even think of Native American. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SAYS TO ME!?!?!!!?!?! THAT IS HOW POORLY EDUCATED AMERICA IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO WERE HERE BEFORE THE PILGRIMS, aka the REAL AMERICANS!!!!!! THAT IS THE DAMAGE OF GENOCIDE AND COLONIALISM AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE NATIVE AMERICAN CULTURE BY THE WASHICHUS, THE GOVERNMENT, AND THE CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS ESTABLISHMENTS. THAT IS WHY EVEN WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE GOD DAMN FUCKING END OF THE 20TH CENTURY AND INTO THE 21ST CENTURY THE TEXTBOOKS STILL REFERRED TO NATIVE AMERICANS AS SAVAGES AND HARDLY EVEN TOUCHED ON THE HISTORY OF INDIGENOUS PEOPLE. FUCK YOUR COLONIALIST ASSES!!!!!!
Honest to god people who don’t understand that diversity is IMPORTANT for not just social reasons, but THE SURVIVAL OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET are fucking idiots. And that leads to my last and probably most important rant, people who don’t believe evolution is a thing. OH. MY. GOD. REALLY!?!? DID YOU GET HIT ON THE HEAD WHEN YOU WERE SMALL AND LOST THE ABILITY FOR HIGHER COGNITIVE REASONING AND THINKING?!!? IF YOU HAVE STUDIED BIOLOGY, BIOANTHROPOLOGY, OR EVEN JUST GOTTEN A BASIC FREAKING OVERVIEW OF THAT SHIT, HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT IT IS MOST DEFINITELY A THING?!?!?! I am not going to explain how evolution exists here because that draws away from the rant- I want to get the point across that the existence of genetic diversity is extremely important for the continuation of life on the planet. Once you lose diversity, life dwindles because it becomes harder to reproduce. We need to protect the earth. On a social level, every human is fucking each other and having mixed af babies and that is beautiful. We continue to create diversity and that should be ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!
Preface: This year, after a series of traumatic events, I have made the decision to stop using a lot of filters I have had. Almost losing my mother to alcoholism at Christmas was extremely difficult. I stand here today grateful that she is still alive, but with a lot of emotional weight on my shoulders, which are expressed through mostly anger and anxiety. I’m tired of holding myself back in fear of offending people because honestly, fuck that shit. We’re living in a completely twacked-out, backwards and chaotic time period in American history. We’re all scared because the fucking stupid crackhead racist shit stain idiot in office has us constantly worried about nuclear war. So honestly fuck it all. I’m unfiltered Malila now.
Three main things have been really bothering me this year.
The first is in relation to the perception of musicians in society by non-musicians. As we know musicians are a form of artist. They work with sound, time, rhythm, pitch, sound color and articulation, texture, instrumentation, words, etc. to communicate their artistic voice and artistic ideas. I am a musician and pianist, and I am so god damn fucking tired of people thinking musicians are not worth paying. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how many hours I have practiced? Probably longer than you have ever spent doing anything in your entire fucking life and I am still going strong, so good luck catching up to me YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON! People that are either unwilling to pay (albeit, only professional) musicians or are tentative to pay (and thus offer shitty as fuck rates) can go fuck themselves. You can go find someone who doesn’t do this for a living and just does it as a god damn hobby because honest to god, working 3 jobs AND gigging while having no health benefits or salary is the life of many musicians (yup, I'm one!), and I am extremely protective and PROUD of all that I have earned with my hard work, my creativity, and my music. Professional musicians are no different than doctors, carpenters, artists, or anyone who has spent their whole life dedicated to honing a craft and learning a skill. The stereotype that musicians are lazy drug addicts who ride on their talent alone is NOT. TRUE. PROFESSIONAL MUSICIANS WORK HARD AF AND THE BEST MUSICIANS KNOW THAT TALENT WORKS IN CONJUNCTION WITH HARD WORK AND DEDICATION! So up YOUR BUTTHOLE, world!
The second thing that has been bothering me is shade-ism. I am so sick and tired of people of all walks of life judging and basing people off their skin color, BUT PARTICULARLY SHADE OF SKIN COLOR. I have to say before I continue: FUCK RACISM AND FUCK RACISTS! And that when I continue this rant, I do NOT mean to complain about my skin color or invalidate people of color's struggles that I don't always experience (because I do exist on the lighter side of the spectrum) and so I do not want that to be the overtone of this rant. All skin colors are beautiful and should be accepted and empowered, love you all.
BUT, really though, say you are darker than someone else and then judge them because they aren’t the same exact color as you? Or you are lighter than someone, whatever. Sure, they may or may not experience the same socioeconomic or racist issues that you do (and again, am not invalidating those at all)- but that doesn’t mean that they don’t belong to the same ethnic group as you. They belong to what they identify as through their cultural practices, their family's cultural practices, etc. There are so many Native Americans that look extremely Caucasian, but they are Native American culturally. I have so much respect for my Native friends who have blonde hair, blue eyes, or extremely fair skin and remain so connected to their culture. I also empathize with you a lot because I am light skinned as well. So sure, an aspect of privilege may exist, but you cannot continue to judge them for their culture based off of their shade alone.
I feel like the main offenders here are white men (OLD white men especially!!!!). Oh, OK- NBD the dominant members of society for the past THOUSAND BILLION YEARS is CONTINUING TO MANSPLAIN AND TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY ARE AND ARENT?!!? Go fuck yourself! Up yours! So I’m lighter in the winter and a somewhat darker in the summer. SO WHAT. So I look like I’m Hispanic or Italian or Hawaiian or Greek or WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE one day and white the next. SO WHAT? So are a ton of other people SO STOP TELLING ME WHAT I AM AND WHAT I AM NOT BECAUSE THAT IS FOR ME TO FUCKING DECIDE YOU FUCKING QLUQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had it up to virtual HERE with people and their lack of cultural education. America is beautiful and so diverse. We should embrace that. The thing that really puts the salt in the wound is this: I met a Croatian this summer who immediately recognized me as Native American and we barely even knew each other (that isn't the salty part, its the awesome part!! lol). How many Americans ask me that off the bat? HARDLY ANY. They literally go through Every. Other. Culture. Before they even think of Native American. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SAYS TO ME!?!?!!!?!?! THAT IS HOW POORLY EDUCATED AMERICA IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO WERE HERE BEFORE THE PILGRIMS, aka the REAL AMERICANS!!!!!! THAT IS THE DAMAGE OF GENOCIDE AND COLONIALISM AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE NATIVE AMERICAN CULTURE BY THE WASHICHUS, THE GOVERNMENT, AND THE CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS ESTABLISHMENTS. THAT IS WHY EVEN WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE GOD DAMN FUCKING END OF THE 20TH CENTURY AND INTO THE 21ST CENTURY THE TEXTBOOKS STILL REFERRED TO NATIVE AMERICANS AS SAVAGES AND HARDLY EVEN TOUCHED ON THE HISTORY OF INDIGENOUS PEOPLE. FUCK YOUR COLONIALIST ASSES!!!!!!
Honest to god people who don’t understand that diversity is IMPORTANT for not just social reasons, but THE SURVIVAL OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET are fucking idiots. And that leads to my last and probably most important rant, people who don’t believe evolution is a thing. OH. MY. GOD. REALLY!?!? DID YOU GET HIT ON THE HEAD WHEN YOU WERE SMALL AND LOST THE ABILITY FOR HIGHER COGNITIVE REASONING AND THINKING?!!? IF YOU HAVE STUDIED BIOLOGY, BIOANTHROPOLOGY, OR EVEN JUST GOTTEN A BASIC FREAKING OVERVIEW OF THAT SHIT, HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT IT IS MOST DEFINITELY A THING?!?!?! I am not going to explain how evolution exists here because that draws away from the rant- I want to get the point across that the existence of genetic diversity is extremely important for the continuation of life on the planet. Once you lose diversity, life dwindles because it becomes harder to reproduce. We need to protect the earth. On a social level, every human is fucking each other and having mixed af babies and that is beautiful. We continue to create diversity and that should be ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!