and its all in my head...
bleh...
:(
the word that describes EVERYTHING right now.
i feel like its SO hard to make changes in my life when the past keeps coming into play. i hate the fact that i take some RETARDS opinion of me to heart, and it angers me. i hate being so damn sensitive. its like i cant even have a good relationship with someone because neither of our friends want us together, and i get so tired of it. "jenny is a pyscho", and whatever dude, i just don`t take shit from people, so it makes me pyscho? i guess selling out your friends is cooler i guess, whatev. im not perfect, i am a pretty bitchy person, and thats my defense mechanism, otherwise im an ultra laid back person--and i will take any type of apology, and i will take anyone in. except one person, but i preferably dont care to acknowledge them. its really hard especially because you cant please everyone, and girls are really bad for caring too much about that, regardless of what they say. a lot of people can hate me, and say i treat blake like shit, but people will argue the same thing back. it was hard enough to let him back into my life, and if anyone can understand it was the people i was spending time with all summer. i completely forgot about him, and the person who made it all impossible for us, "jenny is playing mind games with you". funny we were perfectly fine all summer ignoring everything/anything someone says, so i seriously need to let it go, and roll off my chest. hence the venting.
i dont hate any of this friends, his actual friends, the people who CARE about him, not USE him as some tool, and then run and tell me what hes done just because it makes him look bad. its funny he would do anything for his friends, i think you can do the same. whatever, end of rant.
and for some closure with some people that i cut out without the best explanations--i apologize. marc, you have done a lot for me, and been there for me a lot as well, that doesnt go unnoticed whatsoever. i respect you as a person, but i dont respect the fact that you dont stand up for yourself, and what you believe, you go along for the ride until its at the end. you cut me out, and then decided you "missed" me. you have been there for me so much, and i hold that above anything else, maybe we'll talk about it one of these days. tom, i think i hate the fact that you know me so well, and i always say that about people, and then of course--im proven wrong, but its been just the opposite, i get mad because you understand me. i appreciate the fact that you are so chill with my boyfriend, you instantly took the time to invite him to the parties, and was unbelievably nice to him, and it was geuine.
<3
:(
the word that describes EVERYTHING right now.
i feel like its SO hard to make changes in my life when the past keeps coming into play. i hate the fact that i take some RETARDS opinion of me to heart, and it angers me. i hate being so damn sensitive. its like i cant even have a good relationship with someone because neither of our friends want us together, and i get so tired of it. "jenny is a pyscho", and whatever dude, i just don`t take shit from people, so it makes me pyscho? i guess selling out your friends is cooler i guess, whatev. im not perfect, i am a pretty bitchy person, and thats my defense mechanism, otherwise im an ultra laid back person--and i will take any type of apology, and i will take anyone in. except one person, but i preferably dont care to acknowledge them. its really hard especially because you cant please everyone, and girls are really bad for caring too much about that, regardless of what they say. a lot of people can hate me, and say i treat blake like shit, but people will argue the same thing back. it was hard enough to let him back into my life, and if anyone can understand it was the people i was spending time with all summer. i completely forgot about him, and the person who made it all impossible for us, "jenny is playing mind games with you". funny we were perfectly fine all summer ignoring everything/anything someone says, so i seriously need to let it go, and roll off my chest. hence the venting.
i dont hate any of this friends, his actual friends, the people who CARE about him, not USE him as some tool, and then run and tell me what hes done just because it makes him look bad. its funny he would do anything for his friends, i think you can do the same. whatever, end of rant.
and for some closure with some people that i cut out without the best explanations--i apologize. marc, you have done a lot for me, and been there for me a lot as well, that doesnt go unnoticed whatsoever. i respect you as a person, but i dont respect the fact that you dont stand up for yourself, and what you believe, you go along for the ride until its at the end. you cut me out, and then decided you "missed" me. you have been there for me so much, and i hold that above anything else, maybe we'll talk about it one of these days. tom, i think i hate the fact that you know me so well, and i always say that about people, and then of course--im proven wrong, but its been just the opposite, i get mad because you understand me. i appreciate the fact that you are so chill with my boyfriend, you instantly took the time to invite him to the parties, and was unbelievably nice to him, and it was geuine.
<3