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I think I audibly congealed when I heard the news. Sure, not literally, but emotionally. its that kind of news that grinds your insides into hamburger and throws it around inside you violently in one swift motion. Your muscles spasm. Your breathe comes in rapidly through your nose. You feel like your hair just jumped out on end in an attempt to
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It is hard to be told by someone that they love you, that you are special and unique to them in a way that no one else is and then watch them walk away and smile and laugh and love with someone else.
It is easy to point a finger and say they never loved you at all but even in my broken heart I can tell you that it is not true.
Close your eyes and remember a look, a sound, remember a time when you knew they loved you not by what they said but how they looked at you...how the light reflected in their eyes or how they sighed softly at your touch. Somewhere we touched them, even if it was not enough in the end...what we had with them was better than nothing...would you give away those moments of complete joy...erase them from your memory as if they never happened for a moment of peace from the thought of the loss we now deal with. I can not, for even though each breath and each day hurts anew; I know that somewhere...once I had the chance to experience that wonderful magic...and I know it can be real..that it is not a myth....and maybe someday....maybe when my heart is less broken and even hearing his name does not make my heart beat just a little faster....than maybe I will find that magic again with the person I am meant to. I can but walk away with the gift I was given, and that is to know that the feeling does exist and it can exist which is better than I had in the year before last.
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