its been a while
sooo i know its been a while ... andn at this point i really just need to vent ... to get everything out and not have sum1 next to me trying to give me advice on wut i should do... im just sooo confused,,, lol.. y does life have to be soo complicated i just don;t get it... y can;t it be black or white .. do you like the guy or do you not like the guy... that would be the question... and i just can't seem to decide.. i kinda wish i knew how the guy felt... not that it would help.. i can't seem to decide wut my feelings are at this point any way... part of me wants to take the risk and go for it.. just spill everything im feeling right now to him... but part of me is content with just boggling it up inside... and i know thats bad... cuz thats wut i;ve been doing... and i should say sumthin , i really should... but he's got a good life now... and im so scared im gonna fuck it all up again... and i can't do that to him again.... i just can't....
so coming right down to it.. im probably just a horrible person... who would want to be with a horrible person... i just need to move on and focus on scool... but thats the problem... i can't focus... everytime i think about wut happened my stomach gets butterfly's and all these feelings that i thot i didn't have anymore , come back... and i don't know if i should trust them.. or if i should just back off.... i don;t know... he said he'd keep in touch.... i hope he does... but part of me thinks he won't... and that scares me....
im going to bed... i hope i can sleep tonite.... i hope this helped clear my mind... and i hope he calls...
so coming right down to it.. im probably just a horrible person... who would want to be with a horrible person... i just need to move on and focus on scool... but thats the problem... i can't focus... everytime i think about wut happened my stomach gets butterfly's and all these feelings that i thot i didn't have anymore , come back... and i don't know if i should trust them.. or if i should just back off.... i don;t know... he said he'd keep in touch.... i hope he does... but part of me thinks he won't... and that scares me....
im going to bed... i hope i can sleep tonite.... i hope this helped clear my mind... and i hope he calls...