(no subject)
me surf today
in my mind (vulnerable, poking out from two layers of wetsuit making me walk like a robot) i asked the pacific to be kind to me. my last experience with getting tumbled . . . south carolina, surprise attack, confusion, plenty of leftover water in lungs and sand ground into scalp. where is your bravery when you are facing a foaming beast? one that pulls your lower half into itself while your upper half is deafened by its roar. i'll tell you where. in your bladder. and it abandons you, if you know what i'm sayin . . .
no. not really. the waves weren't big enough to make me piss my wetsuit. in fact i didn't piss at all, not even on purpose because the suits were borrowed . . . and i didn't think that would be very nice of me.
it felt so good to be back in the ocean! wetsuit aside, the water was even a little warmer than cape cod. i swallowed a good portion of the first wave i ducked under. ha! THAT will show that motherfucker. got sick off of it later. but for a good two hours the sea was sweet with me. send me lovely waves to ride and just like after a long trampoline session i can still feel the gliding through my body. the movement of your board sliding over the water, being carried by the force of the wave just behind you.
mmmmmmmm
i'm going surfing christmas day
i'm still scared shitless of big waves.
i hadn't heard my sister's voice in four months. i haven't been home in six months. haven't had sex in over two months, or had anything near my quota of physical interaction i naturally crave. haven't felt settled in to one place in . . . six months. haven't heard the voices of my friends from home. yet it's all right. it's perfectly fine, accepting the fact that i feel removed. from everything. when i begin to think of this as my normal life i will begin to melt down. but this isn't. this is . .. haha, like surfing. letting the current carry me. a companion is coming to join me in six days and i have no idea what i'm doing or where we will go when he arrives. ha
and my boat of a car wants another $600 of work. but that's southern california dollars. which translates to about $200 anywhere else.
in my mind (vulnerable, poking out from two layers of wetsuit making me walk like a robot) i asked the pacific to be kind to me. my last experience with getting tumbled . . . south carolina, surprise attack, confusion, plenty of leftover water in lungs and sand ground into scalp. where is your bravery when you are facing a foaming beast? one that pulls your lower half into itself while your upper half is deafened by its roar. i'll tell you where. in your bladder. and it abandons you, if you know what i'm sayin . . .
no. not really. the waves weren't big enough to make me piss my wetsuit. in fact i didn't piss at all, not even on purpose because the suits were borrowed . . . and i didn't think that would be very nice of me.
it felt so good to be back in the ocean! wetsuit aside, the water was even a little warmer than cape cod. i swallowed a good portion of the first wave i ducked under. ha! THAT will show that motherfucker. got sick off of it later. but for a good two hours the sea was sweet with me. send me lovely waves to ride and just like after a long trampoline session i can still feel the gliding through my body. the movement of your board sliding over the water, being carried by the force of the wave just behind you.
mmmmmmmm
i'm going surfing christmas day
i'm still scared shitless of big waves.
i hadn't heard my sister's voice in four months. i haven't been home in six months. haven't had sex in over two months, or had anything near my quota of physical interaction i naturally crave. haven't felt settled in to one place in . . . six months. haven't heard the voices of my friends from home. yet it's all right. it's perfectly fine, accepting the fact that i feel removed. from everything. when i begin to think of this as my normal life i will begin to melt down. but this isn't. this is . .. haha, like surfing. letting the current carry me. a companion is coming to join me in six days and i have no idea what i'm doing or where we will go when he arrives. ha
and my boat of a car wants another $600 of work. but that's southern california dollars. which translates to about $200 anywhere else.