Temple of the Twelve: Black part 2
After the self portrait there are questions to ask yourself. I am going to try and answer them now, but I still have half a month to go, so I may update this later.
1. After having read chapter 1 and meeting Black, is there anything that you would add to your initial portrait? Or perhaps move?
I think I would have chosen a happier picture so I didn't have to paint my smile on. But that is after looking at myself hard in the mirror and asking myself "Do I really feel this way, or is that just the dark cloud making me feel down about myself?"
I really believe now that that is just my inner demons trying to pull me down. I can shake away that black cloud and become the person I want to be on a daily basis. I just have to check my dark thoughts before they become incessant again. Time will tell if this lesson will truly affect me, but it is something I am willing to put the effort and time into.
2. What would you say are your own gifts and talents?
Truly, I believe my gift to be common sense. I may not be the smartest banana in the bunch, but I know how to take care of myself (even when I don't want to). Unlike my husband, I know how to pay the bills, how to talk to businesses over the phone, how to write a check. Sometimes he overuses his analytical mind and creates bigger, more elaborate fixes for little problems. That is when I get to step in and save the day.
I am also pretty smart in that I can pick things up rather quickly. In any job I have had it has taken me a week tops to learn everything my job entailed. Then I would start working on learning everyone else's jobs so I could take care of things when necessary. That is just who I am.
3. Do you feel you have fully explored them? Why or why not?
Since I haven't worked in over a year and I was flailing miserably with no motivation doing the online schooling, no I do not feel like I have been using my gifts to their fullest. However, I will be starting PBSC next month, working in a Business degree instead of teaching, which I think will actually help me to further utilize my skillset.
4. And how would do you think Black would encourage you to explore the depths of those gifts and talents? What would she ask you to do with them?
I know somewhere down the line, I will end up teaching in some capacity. Probably new employee training, or becoming some kind of corporate trainer. That is always going to be in me, the need to help people become more efficient, better workers (or previously, well rounded, smart kids) so that is more than likely what Black wants for me. I have the personality to be likable enough, but the attitude needed to do the dirty work as well.
5. Do you feel any fear towards Black? If so, why?
I don't think I have ever had any fear of Black, since I wrap myself so tightly in my cloud, it has become second nature to me. Maybe I am afraid of *not* having Black in my life. The fear of people getting to know the real me and not liking what they see. But then, it isn't like I have a load of friends that could turn their backs on me. The few people that I can truly call friend have seen into my darkness and embrace me for it. I think I just have to continue being a less guarded, more open me.
Even though I was supposed to wait until the new moon, I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders, and so opened my token from Lady Black (that as actually the name on the package) and found the perfect gift. It was a perfectly round black marble (?) on a silver charm. I will have to take a picture to post. It really is beautiful and helped me to mark an accomplishment.
Thank you, Lady Black.
1. After having read chapter 1 and meeting Black, is there anything that you would add to your initial portrait? Or perhaps move?
I think I would have chosen a happier picture so I didn't have to paint my smile on. But that is after looking at myself hard in the mirror and asking myself "Do I really feel this way, or is that just the dark cloud making me feel down about myself?"
I really believe now that that is just my inner demons trying to pull me down. I can shake away that black cloud and become the person I want to be on a daily basis. I just have to check my dark thoughts before they become incessant again. Time will tell if this lesson will truly affect me, but it is something I am willing to put the effort and time into.
2. What would you say are your own gifts and talents?
Truly, I believe my gift to be common sense. I may not be the smartest banana in the bunch, but I know how to take care of myself (even when I don't want to). Unlike my husband, I know how to pay the bills, how to talk to businesses over the phone, how to write a check. Sometimes he overuses his analytical mind and creates bigger, more elaborate fixes for little problems. That is when I get to step in and save the day.
I am also pretty smart in that I can pick things up rather quickly. In any job I have had it has taken me a week tops to learn everything my job entailed. Then I would start working on learning everyone else's jobs so I could take care of things when necessary. That is just who I am.
3. Do you feel you have fully explored them? Why or why not?
Since I haven't worked in over a year and I was flailing miserably with no motivation doing the online schooling, no I do not feel like I have been using my gifts to their fullest. However, I will be starting PBSC next month, working in a Business degree instead of teaching, which I think will actually help me to further utilize my skillset.
4. And how would do you think Black would encourage you to explore the depths of those gifts and talents? What would she ask you to do with them?
I know somewhere down the line, I will end up teaching in some capacity. Probably new employee training, or becoming some kind of corporate trainer. That is always going to be in me, the need to help people become more efficient, better workers (or previously, well rounded, smart kids) so that is more than likely what Black wants for me. I have the personality to be likable enough, but the attitude needed to do the dirty work as well.
5. Do you feel any fear towards Black? If so, why?
I don't think I have ever had any fear of Black, since I wrap myself so tightly in my cloud, it has become second nature to me. Maybe I am afraid of *not* having Black in my life. The fear of people getting to know the real me and not liking what they see. But then, it isn't like I have a load of friends that could turn their backs on me. The few people that I can truly call friend have seen into my darkness and embrace me for it. I think I just have to continue being a less guarded, more open me.
Even though I was supposed to wait until the new moon, I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders, and so opened my token from Lady Black (that as actually the name on the package) and found the perfect gift. It was a perfectly round black marble (?) on a silver charm. I will have to take a picture to post. It really is beautiful and helped me to mark an accomplishment.
Thank you, Lady Black.