Sucks more than anything has ever sucked before
I haven't exactly been on the updating mood. RL has been confusing, tiring and utterly fucked up and even my fandoms have been bitchy and declining (Claymore's ending is so fucked up).
Yet I dragged my ass here, figuring some of you might not yet know of these recent misfortunes and might find them amusing, or offer condolences, or words or something. Most people have been great, and really kept me going despite everything.
So Tuesday. Oh boy. We had this event thing we were gonna go to with Hanna and we butted in with a few of our classmates as they started off the evening at Hemuli's place (not really Hemuli, it's just the guy's nickie ya noe?). It was a great time. There were like 7 people, we really enjoyed ourselves. However everyone had brought in their own drinks and due to timerestraints I let Hanna buy ours, which turned out to be a tad too strong. Everything kinda cuts off at 10 pm. I don't even remember leaving Hemuli's place.
I just know that we tried to get into Sirkus, the bar we'd bought the tickets for, but I was too drunk. Hanna tore off my ticket from the overalls (since they're always badges you can sow into your overalls) and gave it to Tero (who returned it to a very puzzled me on Thursday. A real WTF moment there!). Apparently I took off with Kaj at 12 to sleep it off. He was about as drunk as I was, can't remember a thing. Hanna says we took a taxi.
I had a nightmare. One about walking in the dark, in the rain, not really knowing where I was. The dream was endless, kinda vague, but I definitely remember it. Then slowly it became more and more real. I was totally wet: my hair, my shoes, the trouser bottoms of both my jeans and overalls. I still had my bag, but it was open and my cigarettes and lighter had vanished. Money and phone were still there thankfully. Taxis would drive by every now and then, but I realized I couldn't even call one since I had no idea where I was exactly.
I think I sobered up by the time I realized I was in Aulanko (one part of the city) as I saw a bus stop. That's when I quickly figured how I'd find my way back home and checked the clock for the first time. It was 4 am. I was just tired so I made no huge fit. I walked for awhile, and realized that I had gotten the place correctly and found a familiar landmark. Then I also called Hanna, who'd attended the event in Sirkus and was about to leave to find a place to sleep in. She got one of our tutors to give her a lift and they picked me up and drove back home.
At the door we came to the conclusion that I had lost my appartment key. The overalls have these weird fake pockets that I think are meant to give you access to your trouser pockets. I suppose at some point of my drunken marathon adventure I'd tried to put the key in my pocket or take it out and it'd just ended up in some random road/bush/forest. Sigh, we called the maintenance guy to open the door and he came rather quickly and opened the three doors. I was completely exhausted by the time he left (and charged me with 20€s). Plus I was shaking since most of my clothes were soaked wet.
The following morning was hell. Probably my worst hangover ever. There was throwing up. I took like three or four showers. I couldn't eat till 8 pm. I just slept under the covers and watched the ceiling rock from side to side. Luckily Hanna helped me a bit. She stayed until she was sure she could drive and I was feeling better. My whole body felt sore and was full of bruises (I suppose I've been rolling all around while my walk. Tripping and hell I even have memory of being stuck from one of those fences and struggling for awhile). Wednesday in its whole was terrible. Most people had fun when they heard the story but when I was finally alone I had my angst moment, and realized that something seriously bad could've also happened. I could've been attacked, killed, raped... I was very lucky that I just lost the key.
These are really not the kind of things I like to rant about or even think, but mistakes do happen and I felt that not sharing would just not help me get over this. I haven't exactly been beaming for the past few days. I had fever today and couldnt go to school or kendo and it just gave me more time to reflect on the whole event. I'm not exactly a drinker. I have bad tolerance, I rarely enjoy nights at the bar and the hangovers are always bitchy. So why I do I still keep doing this to myself? When I look back at any time I've gone out with a friend and we've had alcohol, they've mostly ended up with me very disappointed and exhausted and just discontent. Some people have fun in these things, but I rarely do. I dunno. I always go with an open mind, I keep watch of what I consume and so on. Yet more and more there's always someone dragging me behind them and me not remembering a thing. That sucks. It's depressing and gets me cranky because I'd really like to say "yeah I had a good time, let's do it again." and mostly I just can't.
Sorry about the angst. I'm just a bit morose at the moment. I suppose I'll need to write it out of my system and get some new series to watch or something. Gladly both GunGrave and Ergo Proxy are being published on dvd with finnish subtitles soon. Certainly cheers me up! ;)
Yet I dragged my ass here, figuring some of you might not yet know of these recent misfortunes and might find them amusing, or offer condolences, or words or something. Most people have been great, and really kept me going despite everything.
So Tuesday. Oh boy. We had this event thing we were gonna go to with Hanna and we butted in with a few of our classmates as they started off the evening at Hemuli's place (not really Hemuli, it's just the guy's nickie ya noe?). It was a great time. There were like 7 people, we really enjoyed ourselves. However everyone had brought in their own drinks and due to timerestraints I let Hanna buy ours, which turned out to be a tad too strong. Everything kinda cuts off at 10 pm. I don't even remember leaving Hemuli's place.
I just know that we tried to get into Sirkus, the bar we'd bought the tickets for, but I was too drunk. Hanna tore off my ticket from the overalls (since they're always badges you can sow into your overalls) and gave it to Tero (who returned it to a very puzzled me on Thursday. A real WTF moment there!). Apparently I took off with Kaj at 12 to sleep it off. He was about as drunk as I was, can't remember a thing. Hanna says we took a taxi.
I had a nightmare. One about walking in the dark, in the rain, not really knowing where I was. The dream was endless, kinda vague, but I definitely remember it. Then slowly it became more and more real. I was totally wet: my hair, my shoes, the trouser bottoms of both my jeans and overalls. I still had my bag, but it was open and my cigarettes and lighter had vanished. Money and phone were still there thankfully. Taxis would drive by every now and then, but I realized I couldn't even call one since I had no idea where I was exactly.
I think I sobered up by the time I realized I was in Aulanko (one part of the city) as I saw a bus stop. That's when I quickly figured how I'd find my way back home and checked the clock for the first time. It was 4 am. I was just tired so I made no huge fit. I walked for awhile, and realized that I had gotten the place correctly and found a familiar landmark. Then I also called Hanna, who'd attended the event in Sirkus and was about to leave to find a place to sleep in. She got one of our tutors to give her a lift and they picked me up and drove back home.
At the door we came to the conclusion that I had lost my appartment key. The overalls have these weird fake pockets that I think are meant to give you access to your trouser pockets. I suppose at some point of my drunken marathon adventure I'd tried to put the key in my pocket or take it out and it'd just ended up in some random road/bush/forest. Sigh, we called the maintenance guy to open the door and he came rather quickly and opened the three doors. I was completely exhausted by the time he left (and charged me with 20€s). Plus I was shaking since most of my clothes were soaked wet.
The following morning was hell. Probably my worst hangover ever. There was throwing up. I took like three or four showers. I couldn't eat till 8 pm. I just slept under the covers and watched the ceiling rock from side to side. Luckily Hanna helped me a bit. She stayed until she was sure she could drive and I was feeling better. My whole body felt sore and was full of bruises (I suppose I've been rolling all around while my walk. Tripping and hell I even have memory of being stuck from one of those fences and struggling for awhile). Wednesday in its whole was terrible. Most people had fun when they heard the story but when I was finally alone I had my angst moment, and realized that something seriously bad could've also happened. I could've been attacked, killed, raped... I was very lucky that I just lost the key.
These are really not the kind of things I like to rant about or even think, but mistakes do happen and I felt that not sharing would just not help me get over this. I haven't exactly been beaming for the past few days. I had fever today and couldnt go to school or kendo and it just gave me more time to reflect on the whole event. I'm not exactly a drinker. I have bad tolerance, I rarely enjoy nights at the bar and the hangovers are always bitchy. So why I do I still keep doing this to myself? When I look back at any time I've gone out with a friend and we've had alcohol, they've mostly ended up with me very disappointed and exhausted and just discontent. Some people have fun in these things, but I rarely do. I dunno. I always go with an open mind, I keep watch of what I consume and so on. Yet more and more there's always someone dragging me behind them and me not remembering a thing. That sucks. It's depressing and gets me cranky because I'd really like to say "yeah I had a good time, let's do it again." and mostly I just can't.
Sorry about the angst. I'm just a bit morose at the moment. I suppose I'll need to write it out of my system and get some new series to watch or something. Gladly both GunGrave and Ergo Proxy are being published on dvd with finnish subtitles soon. Certainly cheers me up! ;)