(no subject)
"How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart. It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out till your torn apart."
I think i have just done the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I just told Brandon, the boy i think i'm in love with, that I can't talk to him anymore. I've talked to him every single night since New Years, when i met him, except maybe 7 nights at most. I've told him more then I think I've told anyone ever. And now I told him I can't talk to him anymore for a while becasue its too hard. I can't be with him and it kills me casue I love the kid and it hurts that I can't be with him. All I'm doing now is just crying. I'm attempting these stupid english note cards but its not happening. How do I move on? What do I do from here? I need him and miss him so much that I'm just caught up in it all. I want to talk to him so much right now but I can't cause I know it will just cause more hurt on my part. He knows how I feel, and says he feels the same way but is staying with his girlfriend. Which I'm not mad about at all..in fact I know thats probably the best thing for him right now considering she doesn't live 2 hrs away and get to see him a lot..I don't know what I want. I want to be with him but I also understand that him being with his girlfriend makes more sense then I do. Any ideas of how to move on and ignore love? cause i'm scared as hell of love and i never ever say unless I think i mean it, i've never said it to someone that i've cared about before but I 'm saying it with him. How do I ignore these feelings and move on?
I think i have just done the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I just told Brandon, the boy i think i'm in love with, that I can't talk to him anymore. I've talked to him every single night since New Years, when i met him, except maybe 7 nights at most. I've told him more then I think I've told anyone ever. And now I told him I can't talk to him anymore for a while becasue its too hard. I can't be with him and it kills me casue I love the kid and it hurts that I can't be with him. All I'm doing now is just crying. I'm attempting these stupid english note cards but its not happening. How do I move on? What do I do from here? I need him and miss him so much that I'm just caught up in it all. I want to talk to him so much right now but I can't cause I know it will just cause more hurt on my part. He knows how I feel, and says he feels the same way but is staying with his girlfriend. Which I'm not mad about at all..in fact I know thats probably the best thing for him right now considering she doesn't live 2 hrs away and get to see him a lot..I don't know what I want. I want to be with him but I also understand that him being with his girlfriend makes more sense then I do. Any ideas of how to move on and ignore love? cause i'm scared as hell of love and i never ever say unless I think i mean it, i've never said it to someone that i've cared about before but I 'm saying it with him. How do I ignore these feelings and move on?