It's Over, 99% for good
Hi
My name is Jeni and I’m single, not necessarily by choice, you must understand.
I dated a guy who told me he loved me, showered me with attention every second, and treated me like royalty. Until one day, he decided to lie to me. He is someone who has lied before, but never about something like this. Well not to me, at least. I guess I was stupid to think that I would be different, but I’m such a naïve optimist when it comes to things like that.
When I confronted the boy with everything, he denied it all, then came clean, but begged for forgiveness. He cried, got on his knees, hurt himself to prove that any external pain couldn’t compare to the internal pain he already felt, begged more, and swore to devote the rest of his life to making this up to me. He said that if I only gave him one more chance, he would completely change. He says that he can’t live without me. He got down on his knees begging for anything with sincere tears in his eyes. He cried on the floor. He cried as he clenched the bear he gave me. He cried on my lap. He told me that I have been the one person, the ONE person who has ever made him really want to be better. He said that I have already truly changed him for the better, whether I want that or not. No one else has done this. That makes me feel important. I want to be a part of that, but because of what he did, this irrevocable thing that he did, my perspectives have changed. Society tells me that going back to a liar would be unacceptable, and make me look like the idiot and the one who’s doing wrong. Society tells me to leave him in the dust, find a new man, and never look back. Leave him crying, because that’s what the scumbag deserves. Make him suffer for what he did. My friends say “No way. If you do something like that, it’s done, there is no going back.” And they try to make me feel better and celebrate the dumping of a liar, because they care about me and would never wish something like that upon me…but I don’t know.
It’s so easy to fall back into old habits. It’s so easy to say, “You’re right, being without does suck. I miss your company. I miss your affection. I miss always having you around and knowing that you ultimately cared” I don’t know what to do. I want to forgive because it’s in my nature. I don’t want to be apart from someone who I cared so much about, but I can’t handle knowing what happened. I don’t want to ever have to say that I was the victim of this, or say that I put up with such bs. I want to forgive and let go, I truly do. I just don’t know if I can. I don’t know if the consequences of that would be worse than the consequences I’m already faced with.
My name is Jeni and I’m single, not necessarily by choice, you must understand.
I dated a guy who told me he loved me, showered me with attention every second, and treated me like royalty. Until one day, he decided to lie to me. He is someone who has lied before, but never about something like this. Well not to me, at least. I guess I was stupid to think that I would be different, but I’m such a naïve optimist when it comes to things like that.
When I confronted the boy with everything, he denied it all, then came clean, but begged for forgiveness. He cried, got on his knees, hurt himself to prove that any external pain couldn’t compare to the internal pain he already felt, begged more, and swore to devote the rest of his life to making this up to me. He said that if I only gave him one more chance, he would completely change. He says that he can’t live without me. He got down on his knees begging for anything with sincere tears in his eyes. He cried on the floor. He cried as he clenched the bear he gave me. He cried on my lap. He told me that I have been the one person, the ONE person who has ever made him really want to be better. He said that I have already truly changed him for the better, whether I want that or not. No one else has done this. That makes me feel important. I want to be a part of that, but because of what he did, this irrevocable thing that he did, my perspectives have changed. Society tells me that going back to a liar would be unacceptable, and make me look like the idiot and the one who’s doing wrong. Society tells me to leave him in the dust, find a new man, and never look back. Leave him crying, because that’s what the scumbag deserves. Make him suffer for what he did. My friends say “No way. If you do something like that, it’s done, there is no going back.” And they try to make me feel better and celebrate the dumping of a liar, because they care about me and would never wish something like that upon me…but I don’t know.
It’s so easy to fall back into old habits. It’s so easy to say, “You’re right, being without does suck. I miss your company. I miss your affection. I miss always having you around and knowing that you ultimately cared” I don’t know what to do. I want to forgive because it’s in my nature. I don’t want to be apart from someone who I cared so much about, but I can’t handle knowing what happened. I don’t want to ever have to say that I was the victim of this, or say that I put up with such bs. I want to forgive and let go, I truly do. I just don’t know if I can. I don’t know if the consequences of that would be worse than the consequences I’m already faced with.