Could it be?
I'm sitting here....feeling rather sick....nauseated.....anxious....
As I logged in, I read the comments I found in my posts...I truly cannot begin to explain the overwhelming tears that started to form. Inside of me, there is this constant battle over myself. Who will win? I've been lost this whole day. In my own trance. I'm sorry that I was not all here today. I can't help it right now. To those of you who have such great faith in me: Thank you for the faith, I know I can't let you down...you have carried me through my times of sorrow, through my times when I was crippled emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. Every night I thank God for sending such wonderful guardian angels into my life....I have one who lives with me, and I have the other 6 who constantly fill my life with laughter, smiles, and science...with a bit of dance also. Everywhere I turn there you are....all of you ready to get down and dirty again for me to get back into my groove with the MCAT's.
You know what....I won't stop now. I will do it. I will do great. I will be that doctor you'll all come to one day seeking anything I can help you with in anyway possible. You all will be proud of me even more than you already are. I know I'm slow...truly I understand that I am weak and I fail. It hurts me to see myself fall like this...into this hole of darkness constantly falling into nothing. But with all of you near me, I feel unstoppable now. I keep telling myself this whole day, give it to God...just give it to God....Put your faith into God...just hand it over now. Stop being stubborn...I am trying to stop. I'm just human in this way and I feel ashamed for being this weak and pathetic.
I feel sick...almost as if I was going to vomit now. I feel anxious, nervous, nauseated....and sick. Just sick. I need to get through it now. I have to fight...must fight.
As I logged in, I read the comments I found in my posts...I truly cannot begin to explain the overwhelming tears that started to form. Inside of me, there is this constant battle over myself. Who will win? I've been lost this whole day. In my own trance. I'm sorry that I was not all here today. I can't help it right now. To those of you who have such great faith in me: Thank you for the faith, I know I can't let you down...you have carried me through my times of sorrow, through my times when I was crippled emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. Every night I thank God for sending such wonderful guardian angels into my life....I have one who lives with me, and I have the other 6 who constantly fill my life with laughter, smiles, and science...with a bit of dance also. Everywhere I turn there you are....all of you ready to get down and dirty again for me to get back into my groove with the MCAT's.
You know what....I won't stop now. I will do it. I will do great. I will be that doctor you'll all come to one day seeking anything I can help you with in anyway possible. You all will be proud of me even more than you already are. I know I'm slow...truly I understand that I am weak and I fail. It hurts me to see myself fall like this...into this hole of darkness constantly falling into nothing. But with all of you near me, I feel unstoppable now. I keep telling myself this whole day, give it to God...just give it to God....Put your faith into God...just hand it over now. Stop being stubborn...I am trying to stop. I'm just human in this way and I feel ashamed for being this weak and pathetic.
I feel sick...almost as if I was going to vomit now. I feel anxious, nervous, nauseated....and sick. Just sick. I need to get through it now. I have to fight...must fight.