Drabble-Matic [warning: NSFW]
I was bored, so I scooted on over to the Drabble-Matic which I love so much, keying in random drivel for some Wayne/Crane [Batman] drabbles.
These are awesome...
I Saw Bruce Kissing Santa Claus
Jonathan woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one stylish box that looked like a mask.
Then Jonathan noticed that Bruce was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Jonathan thought that he would surprise Bruce. Maybe even sneak up behind him and sex him on his chocolatey eye. That always made Bruce purple.
Jonathan crept forgetfully down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its pretty lights, and the presents, heaped up angrily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Bruce. Kissing someone.
Jonathan was so angry, he picked up a dildo from a table and threw it adorably in a glorious bed of smut.
They both looked around.
"Bruce, you slashy snake!" Jonathan yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Jonathan looked and then rubbed his nipple and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Bruce said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a X-rated kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Jonathan said sexually. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be insane."
That seemed reasonable. Jonathan went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a big sexual metaphor indicating the intense sexual frustrations the author tries to disguise and just barely manages. He made Jonathan's cock feel all malfunctioning.
"You see?" Bruce said weirdly and Jonathan saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
The Miracle Of The Snake
Jonathan hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a big sexual metaphor indicating the intense sexual frustrations the author tries to disguise and just barely manages. He loathed it.
Every December, Jonathan would feel himself getting all malfunctioning inside. He refused to put up a Christmas mask, he snapped at anyone X-rated enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Jonathan had to go to the mall to buy an insane spoon. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing adorably around and so much Christmas music blaring forgetfully, he thought his eye would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a purple man collecting for charity. Jonathan never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the purple man dropped his bells and ran in a glorious bed of smut. There was a chocolatey snake right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the purple man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Jonathan rushed out and angrily pushed them both out of the way. There was a chunky bang and then everything went dark.
When Jonathan woke up, he was in a slashy room. There was a Christmas mask in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Jonathan's nipple hurt. A lot.
The purple man came into the room. "I'm so stylish!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Bruce. You saved me from the truck. But your nipple is broken."
Jonathan hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas mask up and his nipple was broken, he felt quite pretty, especially when he looked at Bruce.
"Your nipple must hurt sexually," Bruce said. "I think this will help." And he sexed Jonathan several times.
Now Jonathan felt very pretty indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Bruce. "I love you," he said, and kissed Bruce weirdly.
"I love you too," said Bruce. Just then, the snake ran into the room and nuzzled Jonathan's cock. "I brought him home with us," Bruce said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Jonathan said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.