waiting til i have to go to work...
just random 3am writtings... nothing else to post...
if things didnt end badly, chances are, they wouldnt have ended. something had to have gone wrong, the pieces of the puzzle just didnt fit anymore. could i have prevented it? was it doomed from the beginning? was it even meant to happen? but of course, all things happen for a reason, so that one can learn a lesson.
well what lesson shall i be learning from this one? that i put too much stock into happy endings? that it "wasnt the right time" in our lives? that hes not good enough for me, but i wasted love, time and tears on him like the sap i am? perhaps... or maybe that im just too good for him. yeah that one rings a bell thanks to my friends.
but then i ask myself... self, why couldnt he love u enough if u seem to be so great? why couldnt u fix it if ur so smart? or make him happier if ur so damn funny? why doesnt he want ot see u anymore if ur so beautiful? why does it seem like a chore for him to talk to u if ur such a good friend? why do u feel like a loser when everyone else is telling u that ur such a prize? but more importantly, how good of an actor was he when he said "i love u"?
some song lyrics i came across but i dont know what its called or who its by.. help me out if u know...
"and i close my eyes, curl on my side, and try to sleep
force back the tears of remembering a love i could not keep
and i drift away...and my mind calls back a dream...
you haunt me, while i lie asleep
the image of you with me....
goodnight, my little wishing star in my sky, my world
Dawn is coming to the rescue again to save the heart of a lovesick girl
okay...so he will never love me...
hope blinded my eyes before but now i see...
Morning has brought reality
And i close my eyes, curl on my side, and try to sleep
force back the tears of remembering a love i could not keep
and i drift away...and my mind calls back a dream...
you haunt me, while i lie asleep
the image of you with me.........
so i wish i may, i wish i might
have this wish i wish every night
the same old wish i've been telling you
nights and nights past..
why false hope, little shining light?
i've got nothing left to do but cry
now that i know that things'll never change
even if i wish on the whole damn sky...tell me why.......
and i close my eyes, curl on my side and try to sleep...
force back the tears of remembering a love i could not keep (that burns so deep)
and i drift away....and my mind calls back a dream......
you haunt me
while i lie asleep
the image of you with me............
goodnight.."