Realization
Reading back through my journal, I think sometimes I come across as some kind of know-it-all, especially in my relationship. I want to apologize if I've ever given off the impression that I think I'm perfect or have the perfect relationship.
I do not think that.
Actually, the reason y'all don't read about any marital issues is because I don't go outside of my marriage to talk about them. Before Ninja and I got married, we had a long discussion about our future and how we were going to deal with things. I used to talk to everyone (who would listen) about little petty arguments and not-so-little fights between Ninja & I. But I soon realized, from the hubby's not so gentle nudging, that it wasn't doing any good. My friends and family would get angry at Ninja and unfortunately, even though they got to hear about the fight, they never went through the process of making up that we did. So all the little things would add up and they'd think he was a huge jerk even though they were hearing my totally "unbiased" recollection of what happened.
I don't look down on anyone for how they deal with their own problems. I don't mind reading the occasional rant. I write private entries sometimes about our disagreements, but after awhile, I delete them. Holding onto it and remembering it and reliving it all over again doesn't help. It's counter-productive for me.
My only question is if there is a problem that is consistent in a relationship, how long are you going to dwell on the same problem before you get it fixed? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And no, I am not suggesting that YOU just get up and walk away. But sometimes, if your way isn't working, don't you think you should try something else?
Just my two-cents.
p.s. The last part was not intended for any of the people on my friends list.
I do not think that.
Actually, the reason y'all don't read about any marital issues is because I don't go outside of my marriage to talk about them. Before Ninja and I got married, we had a long discussion about our future and how we were going to deal with things. I used to talk to everyone (who would listen) about little petty arguments and not-so-little fights between Ninja & I. But I soon realized, from the hubby's not so gentle nudging, that it wasn't doing any good. My friends and family would get angry at Ninja and unfortunately, even though they got to hear about the fight, they never went through the process of making up that we did. So all the little things would add up and they'd think he was a huge jerk even though they were hearing my totally "unbiased" recollection of what happened.
I don't look down on anyone for how they deal with their own problems. I don't mind reading the occasional rant. I write private entries sometimes about our disagreements, but after awhile, I delete them. Holding onto it and remembering it and reliving it all over again doesn't help. It's counter-productive for me.
My only question is if there is a problem that is consistent in a relationship, how long are you going to dwell on the same problem before you get it fixed? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And no, I am not suggesting that YOU just get up and walk away. But sometimes, if your way isn't working, don't you think you should try something else?
Just my two-cents.
p.s. The last part was not intended for any of the people on my friends list.