I don't know how people do it
There are so many things I want to give myself to, to devote my life to.
But I only have one life.
There are only 24 hours in my day
And so few things I am capable of doing.
But I see what is going on around me,
The "fictions", the documentaries, the biographies, the news--
All remind me of what I could be doing.
If I weren't sitting on my plush full sized bed in a room I share with no one,
If I weren't surfing the interweb,
If I weren't sitting outside sipping coffee.
If I werent' doing this.
And through it all this nagging guilt.
Pushed away by self-righteousness.
I am doing what I can, after all.
I give of myself what I can.
But, for the perfectionist inside me, it isn't enough.
And so I find myself at a stalemate.
Unable to move.
Afraid of failure with the odds against me.
I stare at my feet, tears brimming, a chill runs down my spine.
I can't look the world in the face.
But I only have one life.
There are only 24 hours in my day
And so few things I am capable of doing.
But I see what is going on around me,
The "fictions", the documentaries, the biographies, the news--
All remind me of what I could be doing.
If I weren't sitting on my plush full sized bed in a room I share with no one,
If I weren't surfing the interweb,
If I weren't sitting outside sipping coffee.
If I werent' doing this.
And through it all this nagging guilt.
Pushed away by self-righteousness.
I am doing what I can, after all.
I give of myself what I can.
But, for the perfectionist inside me, it isn't enough.
And so I find myself at a stalemate.
Unable to move.
Afraid of failure with the odds against me.
I stare at my feet, tears brimming, a chill runs down my spine.
I can't look the world in the face.