..Blue Eyes Blue...
it's 2:30 in the am...and i'm not exactly very sleepy. i just ate half a cup of noodles with jessica lee. i had finished watching basic with the guys across the hall. it was going to be a suite 450 plus guys across the hall thing, but my girls bailed on me. they wanted to watch for love of the game, but i wasn't in a sappy mood. shortly after the movies ended, casey and alicia decide they're going to go to bed. i was going to follow suit, but i gave into my stomach's wants instead...dammit.
isn't it funny how people turn to material things to make them forget what's really bothering them? for some, it's shopping. for others, it's eating. for a few more, it's drinking the blues away. the latter one shouldn't be made a habit. i mean, what does it REALLY do for you? does it make you forget your worries? your troubles? make you forget where you are? forget what you're doing? or maybe it makes you forget who you actually are, so for just a few hours, you can be who you really want to be? but couldn't it be the other way around? maybe it brings out the person inside of you? the person you wish you could be, but are too chickenshit to show it for fear of what people will really think about you? nah..i'm sure that's not true because then everyone in the world would either be, horney, angry, sad, mellow, or excessively loud.
well, let's just say that i should find a new method of release...running maybe..i did try that the other day, but the only thing it did for me was make me tired. i just don't want to become one of those people who thrive on the excitement of being in a state of drunkeness. it's a turn-off, really. granted, it IS and CAN BE fun, but to make it who you are, the reason why you are alive and functioning...is just silly. to make it the only thing to temporarily chase your sorrows away...i don't want to become one of those.
lately, i've been feeling down under. way down in the dumps. and the whole reasoning behind that...is, well, stupid. my problem is that i take things to heart. i'm constantly worried about what people are thinking about me..worried about rejection and not being good enough. and the good thing is that i can have some mike's and a few...A LOT...of other things, to take my mind off of it. the bad thing about it is, that i have to rely on mike's..and a few other things..to do that for me. because what do they really do for me? give me a headache and a funky feeling stomach the next morning? they don't do anything but make me forget for a night, only to come back to reality the next morning and realize that no matter how "under the influence" i am, there's still a feeling of emptiness and misery.
but i'm looking for it to get better..optimism is you will..despite the mood i've set in the previous paragraphs. i really don't feel this way all the time, just every now and then, i get to feeling like this. i need something to take my mind off of it..preferably something that's not 5% and literally makes you feel warm inside. because that's the start of a bad habit.
i'm not for sure if anything i've said has made any sense, but i'll leave it at that. i'm done.
ya
isn't it funny how people turn to material things to make them forget what's really bothering them? for some, it's shopping. for others, it's eating. for a few more, it's drinking the blues away. the latter one shouldn't be made a habit. i mean, what does it REALLY do for you? does it make you forget your worries? your troubles? make you forget where you are? forget what you're doing? or maybe it makes you forget who you actually are, so for just a few hours, you can be who you really want to be? but couldn't it be the other way around? maybe it brings out the person inside of you? the person you wish you could be, but are too chickenshit to show it for fear of what people will really think about you? nah..i'm sure that's not true because then everyone in the world would either be, horney, angry, sad, mellow, or excessively loud.
well, let's just say that i should find a new method of release...running maybe..i did try that the other day, but the only thing it did for me was make me tired. i just don't want to become one of those people who thrive on the excitement of being in a state of drunkeness. it's a turn-off, really. granted, it IS and CAN BE fun, but to make it who you are, the reason why you are alive and functioning...is just silly. to make it the only thing to temporarily chase your sorrows away...i don't want to become one of those.
lately, i've been feeling down under. way down in the dumps. and the whole reasoning behind that...is, well, stupid. my problem is that i take things to heart. i'm constantly worried about what people are thinking about me..worried about rejection and not being good enough. and the good thing is that i can have some mike's and a few...A LOT...of other things, to take my mind off of it. the bad thing about it is, that i have to rely on mike's..and a few other things..to do that for me. because what do they really do for me? give me a headache and a funky feeling stomach the next morning? they don't do anything but make me forget for a night, only to come back to reality the next morning and realize that no matter how "under the influence" i am, there's still a feeling of emptiness and misery.
but i'm looking for it to get better..optimism is you will..despite the mood i've set in the previous paragraphs. i really don't feel this way all the time, just every now and then, i get to feeling like this. i need something to take my mind off of it..preferably something that's not 5% and literally makes you feel warm inside. because that's the start of a bad habit.
i'm not for sure if anything i've said has made any sense, but i'll leave it at that. i'm done.
ya