Title: Tonight. Tomorrow. Remix. Chapter One. Part One
Title: Tonight. Tomorrow. Remix. Chapter One. Part One.
Author: Lil Jei
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay & Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller & John Sheppard/Surprise Male Character
Rating: PG
Wd Ct: 1,700
Disclaimer: The show, song lyrics, and the characters are not mine. I make no money whatsoever off this gig…
A/N: It’s an inspired by song fic. This is my second version of the idea OR essentially it’s a what if fic which will also have an extended/extra POV and another chapter. I couldn’t let the fic end or even begin where it did the first time without wanting a happy ending for John and somewhere along the line or the next chapter Jennifer will get one as well. AU. Future Fic. Adultery. Slash. Het.
Summary: “Tonight, I'm gonna give in one last time.”
Where it all could have changed if John had just said yes…but would it have changed them for the better?
“John please look at me.” And that was when Rodney finally reached out and grabbed his arm, after all these years, it was him leaving that caused it. John shook Rodney off of his arm and just had to say it, it’d been on his mind all night. “It’s been 15 years since you asked me where we were in the universe Rodney. Where are we now Rodney?” There he’d actually said something out loud, something about feelings. Rodney could just stuff it now. He’s barely focusing when he hears him, Rodney quietly says right in John’s ear, “I don’t know John. At least I don’t know where we’ll be tomorrow. Tonight on the other hand…we’re together again.”
Waking up with a hangover was never a pleasant thing but waking up in bed with a married man had to be the worst. John couldn’t believe he’d done it. He’d agreed last night to having one last and very bittersweet time with Rodney. He’d sunk low before but this had to be it, he’d gone and let his best friend cheat on his wife and with himself nonetheless. He felt worthless, worn out, and then he completed it all by having the emotional and physical hangover from hell.
Laying in bed thinking about it wasn’t any way to solve the problem. So after looking over at Rodney snoring away John got his ass out of the bed and started getting dressed. They didn’t have much time if any to get things squared away before the illustrious Mrs. McKay came back home. With that thought John was opening bedroom windows, turning on a fan, and picking up all the bedding and clothing Rodney had flung about. All this while trying not to cringe at how well used his ass felt, how bad his head hurt, and how broken his heart was. John was just getting past the manic stages when he heard him, Rodney of all the times saying, “Come back to bed, we should have some time.” John had been upset before but now he was livid. He realized in those precious seconds that this couldn’t have been the first time that Rodney had cheated. Not if he knew Jennifer so well as to how busy she was so he could allot time for extramarital fucking.
Instead of screaming at Rodney to get the fuck up John forcibly calmed himself and was determined to say no and did, “Not again Rodney, wait make that never again. Good god McKay we fucked up can’t you see that.” He knows that Rodney’s out of bed and moving around now, he can see from his peripheral point of view. He’d stopped, just stopped by the window when Rodney had first started talking. And now he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say to the man he once loved.
He was looking out the window and shivering, from what he didn’t know. It was sticky sweet outside, even if the sun wasn’t even up. He guessed he could be cold from the shock of everything, what they’d done. What he now had to face up to, committing such an act and having it be against friends was a hard thing to accept. While Rodney seemed okay with it, John knew he never would be. He knew last night he’d been wrong. But he’d been tipsy with heartache and wine. And when Rodney had asked John couldn’t find it in himself to say no to just one last time with the man he’d loved for 15 years.
And now after a round or three of sweaty drunken sex all that John wanted to do was escape. He’d slept some and afterwards when he’d woken up he knew they could never come back from this. *Time to tell him, tell him everything and then just leave,* John, with a sigh and some more thought on what to say had to just do it, “Rodney I’m moving to DC and I won’t be coming back unless necessary. We said one more time and I’m sticking to that. Never again, I’ve given up a lot for you but I refuse to do this to us, to what we were. When I leave here I’m not coming back.”
*Thank god I’d already dressed* John thinks as he practically runs from the bedroom. He couldn’t believe he’d been such a fool. He pretends he doesn’t hear Rodney run after him. He pretends he’s not crying. And he pretends that he’s okay with leaving when all he really wants to do is stay, to beg Rodney to get a divorce and just run away with him. He had to pretend even more that he wasn’t the world’s biggest idiot. He can’t help but yell at himself, *Why did I listen to him? What the hell have I done? What am I gonna do next?* He couldn’t ask himself those questions though, because he knew the answers.
He knew that when he left here, when he left Nevada he was gonna force himself to leave it all behind. He’d leave Rodney behind and let him go. He’d walk away and never look back, he had to. He’d done another horrible thing in his life, losing himself in passion. He’d forgotten the consequences of what them fucking would be. He tried to forget that he would have to leave; he would have to run away, unable to face up to actions.
And just as he’d thought it would, it had happened. Since Rodney couldn’t, he knew he had to see reason. John couldn’t take last night back but he could change the future. He could continue on with his plan to leave. He’d end up stronger for it. He’d never call or see Rodney again unless he was forced to. He had the rest of his life to think of after all. He wasn’t terribly old, he could find a new start in DC, or so he hoped.
Part Two: lil-jei.livejournal.com/121587.html