Life
I think life likes to laugh at me... I'm considering going to talk to someone. Other than my spouse or friends you know actually seek professional help.. god that sounds like a bad joke.... I don't know closer court approaches the more drawn in I feel ... I feel like i'm on eggshells at home... at work ... in life...I don't know what to do or what not. My stomachs been hurting awful bad or it might just be me being gimpy again. Mom's thinks it stress I think its just me being gimpy on a another not i gained 8lbs :( thats added to my day and not in a good way... Maybe it was layers of clothing and my smock i keep telling myself... I sat outside today in the cold snow just thinking... I was waiting on dale to pick me up from work ... I had all these random thougts about my life going through my head... I wonder if i was that bad of a person in a past life to be punished with this life...? Maybe? Karma? I don't know I can't say what the secrets of the universe is I can't say that lifes fair ... Its not and it sucks... was contemplating all this and I began crying .... heh i'm begining to feel like old faith full... you know ... there she blows... or anyways...
I hate work i go to work on monday and see things done that i didn't do and my attitude has been know better. I think i'm purposely getting into with people to see if they will pull me into the office... I've been irriatable and nasty and quiet.. Someone asked me if i was out of it ... I even half assed popped off at my manager ... *shrug* nothing. Is this my cry for help? I don't know All anyone ever says is its Kathi Being Kathi... she don't take no crap from anyone... *shrug* I wish I wouldn't of gone to work today I really don't want to go to work toamrrow... but am i using my job as an excuse to be miserable or is there something deeper down thats bugging me... Maybe ... maybe ...
I wish tho that this would end ... Just end... going to go lay back down...
I hate work i go to work on monday and see things done that i didn't do and my attitude has been know better. I think i'm purposely getting into with people to see if they will pull me into the office... I've been irriatable and nasty and quiet.. Someone asked me if i was out of it ... I even half assed popped off at my manager ... *shrug* nothing. Is this my cry for help? I don't know All anyone ever says is its Kathi Being Kathi... she don't take no crap from anyone... *shrug* I wish I wouldn't of gone to work today I really don't want to go to work toamrrow... but am i using my job as an excuse to be miserable or is there something deeper down thats bugging me... Maybe ... maybe ...
I wish tho that this would end ... Just end... going to go lay back down...