I'm rewatching The Sopranos, ten years later, and I identify more strongly with Tony's character, being closer to his age now. He and Carmela reminded me of my parents, the first time I watched this. Dr. Melfi points out that what has triggered Tony's panic attacks, making him pass out, have been associated with meat. He remembers an event from ( Read more... )

Sometimes it's frustrating to be a writer. Not in a good way, where I'm wondering how to write the thing, make it work. That's the art, the thing I'm in it for. But selling it, finding the right market: that sucker punches me in the ego, all the time. I get all wrapped up in trying to produce the kind of content that x publishes, and it's nothing ( Read more... )

"As the brain stem and limbic system instinctually tells the child that danger is coming and that he needs to seek safety and security in the embrace of the attachment figure, the limbic system also confronts the reality that the attachment figure is, in fact, the source of danger. Safety and danger conflated. Brain chemistry roundly fucked up ( Read more... )

Happy Fourth. We were going to grill and have friends over, but friends' plans got altered and ended up sending late regrets. Kevin and I have spent the day together in the air conditioned bedroom, watching TV with headphones on. I tried to walk Charlie earlier but it was still too hot; now I've forgotten to walk him for the day. I am not good at ( Read more... )

Figuring out weekends again. Last weekend was so hard, we could not possibly do it again. This morning I was waiting for it to happen: for one of us to get triggered. It was me. And like last weekend, I was sad and dissociated for much of the day. Last weekend, I was sad on Saturday and Kevin weathered me, then Sunday we went apeshit bananas off ( Read more... )