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The Rules to Starting Your New Job as A Hair Assistant:
1. Do not under any circumstances listen to your mom when she tells you to dress nicely and wear a cute top, skirt, and flip flops with kitten heels because by the end of the day your skirt will be wet from hand wiping and your feet will hurt terribly.
2. Do not assume that washing hair is easy. BECAUSE IT ISN'T!!!!!! It is much harder than it seems mainly because the sink's hose has a mind of it's own and you are shy with new people. Feel super-embarrassed when you drench your first client's back with water and even more embarrassed when you get shampoo bubbles on his nose.
3. Bring more to eat because around 3 you will start to have violent thoughts about who you could kill to get a Diet Pepsi and a Subway Atkins wrap.
4. Be friendly and offer to do many errands to make up for your clumsiness washing hair.
5. Try to not feel inferior to the blondes whose hair you have to wash. Yes they have 25" inch waists, Seven Jeans, and Louis Vuttoin purses BUT you almost certainly give better blow jobs...so it all equals out.
6. Begin to hint at getting your hair done when shooting the shit with your stylist in the back. Cross your fingers and hope it's free or at least cheaper now that you work at the salon.
7. Be extremely giddy when you get your first tip. Agree to yourself that it is the best 5 dollars in the whole world.
8. Drive home without passing out from soreness and exhaustion from being on your feet in kitten heels for 10 hours. Enjoy the feeling you get from a hard day's work.
9. Make your mom drive you to Subway for dinner and enjoy the Subway guy's flirtations with you. Smile and nod when he tells you what pretty eyes you have but focus mostly on your wrap which you devore in under 3 minutes at home.
10. Change into comfies and enjoy the knowledge that you can still fit into your dance pants from 10th grade. Ignore the fact that your ass is 10x larger than it used to be.
11. Get foot rub from your mom in return for the fact that you got her a color appointment for Thursday.
12. Talk to boyfriend for as long as you can stay awake.
13. Go to sleep and have nightmares about evil sink hoses attacking you.
14. Start all over again.
1. Do not under any circumstances listen to your mom when she tells you to dress nicely and wear a cute top, skirt, and flip flops with kitten heels because by the end of the day your skirt will be wet from hand wiping and your feet will hurt terribly.
2. Do not assume that washing hair is easy. BECAUSE IT ISN'T!!!!!! It is much harder than it seems mainly because the sink's hose has a mind of it's own and you are shy with new people. Feel super-embarrassed when you drench your first client's back with water and even more embarrassed when you get shampoo bubbles on his nose.
3. Bring more to eat because around 3 you will start to have violent thoughts about who you could kill to get a Diet Pepsi and a Subway Atkins wrap.
4. Be friendly and offer to do many errands to make up for your clumsiness washing hair.
5. Try to not feel inferior to the blondes whose hair you have to wash. Yes they have 25" inch waists, Seven Jeans, and Louis Vuttoin purses BUT you almost certainly give better blow jobs...so it all equals out.
6. Begin to hint at getting your hair done when shooting the shit with your stylist in the back. Cross your fingers and hope it's free or at least cheaper now that you work at the salon.
7. Be extremely giddy when you get your first tip. Agree to yourself that it is the best 5 dollars in the whole world.
8. Drive home without passing out from soreness and exhaustion from being on your feet in kitten heels for 10 hours. Enjoy the feeling you get from a hard day's work.
9. Make your mom drive you to Subway for dinner and enjoy the Subway guy's flirtations with you. Smile and nod when he tells you what pretty eyes you have but focus mostly on your wrap which you devore in under 3 minutes at home.
10. Change into comfies and enjoy the knowledge that you can still fit into your dance pants from 10th grade. Ignore the fact that your ass is 10x larger than it used to be.
11. Get foot rub from your mom in return for the fact that you got her a color appointment for Thursday.
12. Talk to boyfriend for as long as you can stay awake.
13. Go to sleep and have nightmares about evil sink hoses attacking you.
14. Start all over again.